I had a home birth AMA

[TheCatFromOuterSpace]

Not the most exciting AMA, but I thought this might help anyone considering one.

I had one too - 25 years ago. I weighed up the risks of a home birth with a fantastic dedicated midwife team close to a hospital vs. my previous hospital birth, highlights of which included

• the lift getting stuck on the way in
• being ignored by the midwifery team for the first 4 hours of my labour despite DH having been sent home; including a midwife who did an internal without actually speaking to me or making eye contact at all
• being handed gas and air with no instructions or help to use it
• being given an epidural (eventually) by a doctor who didn't check that the notes he had in front of him were my notes - they were the previous mother's notes, done hadn't come with me
• being told off by a different midwife for not bringing my bag and notes with me from the labour ward into the delivery room (despite me still having no DH with me)
• someone examining me, saying "right we're there", going out, getting a completely different midwife who I hadn't met, saying "she needs to do two more deliveries before she can practice here so she will be doing yours"
• new midwife murmuring to supervising midwife "hmm needs an episiotomy" and reaching for the scissors without actually saying anything to me or to DH
• when I protested new midwife sighing and saying "well can you feel this?" and jabbing me - yes I bloody could. More sighs while a local was put in
• baby finally born, stitching up done, wheeled back to full ward with 11 other mums with their newborns. No sleep for anyone.
• ignored for 9 hours until I tentatively asked if I could have something to eat and where I should go to change baby. Luckily baby excellent feeder
• ward ran out of baby bedding
• had to queue for a bath - no showers. Both baby and I came home with thrush.

On balance I thought I would be safer at home. And it was lovely.

You had a very poor hospital birth purple. I hope you complained.

Purple that sounds such a scary experience

I had my second baby at home too - 8 years after having my son in hospital. Was also a lovely experience. We were sat round having a chat with the midwives while I was bouncing on a ball then my waters went and my daughter was born 20 minutes later. My son slept through it all. I had a bath in my own bathroom then came out to tea and toast made by my mum and husband and cuddled my new born on my own sofa. We cracked the champagne at 9am. It was 5pm
somewhere

I had both mine in water at home. T'was great. I still remember the wonderfulness of being showered and tucked up in my bed after dc1 was born, eating the brie that i'd been waiting 9 months for.

But how did you weigh up the risks OP? You can't fully know what they are until you're in the thick of things can you, by which time it's possibly too late. I had a cord prolapse followed by a crash section. No idea that would happen until it did and thank God I was right next to the theatre when it happened.

Well, when I was pregnant a recent large study had shown that home and hospital births were equally safe for women who had a baby before. The risks are different, but they even out. In hospital, you have the benefit of being close to life saving equipment. At home, you have the benefit of one to one midwife care, lower risk of infection, and the psychological benefits of being in a familiar environment.

As a low risk, second time mum, who tends to be very quiet in labour, I knew that my risk of being overlooked by a shared midwife on a hospital ward was relatively high. Having my own midwife at home would remove that risk. As I live very close to the hospital, being in hospital to be closer to their equipment would not make a big difference. So I decided that a home birth was probably the safest option.

@purple I am sorry that you had such a bad experience

I had my second DS at home too, brilliant experience and my DS loves the fact he was born at home.

It's strange that years ago it was the norm and now people either think it's marvellous or that you're completely bonkers and reckless.

Great thread OP, I'm 38 weeks with my first and planning a home birth.
It's definitely the right decision for us - we are close to the hospital and have a very supportive midwife and doula. What stopped you going for a home birth for your first baby?

What stopped you going for a home birth for your first baby? I had actually booked in for a home birth first time around, although I was a bit unsure about it, and basically did it as a way to keep my options open, as I knew that I could still transfer into hospital if I wanted to (if you book a hospital birth you can't change your mind and stay at home). I was mostly worried that I would want stronger pain relief as I am generally a bit of a wuss. As things happened I had some complications in late pregnancy, and needed a hospital birth for medical reasons. It was the experience of a hospital birth that convinced me that I definitely wanted a home birth second time around . I would have been very disappointed if I had to go into hospital again.

You could stay at home you just wouldn’t get a midwife. If I’d not pushed the matter (pardon the pun) I’d have had an unplanned “freebirth” because neither time did my contractions ever become regular (though they were plenty intense!) until after transition and they kept fobbing me off.

Wonder if I’d planned a homebirth if I’d even be able to convince them to send a midwife round? They’d probably think they could take their sweet time and turn up to find me holding the baby!!

Wonder if I’d planned a homebirth if I’d even be able to convince them to send a midwife round? I expect that you would. They assess you via telephone initially. I got the impression that they were much more interested in observing my behaviour rather than timing contractions - this could be a result of having more time to focus on one woman, or perhaps it reflects the ethos of homebirth midwives.

I've had 3 home water births!

I have had three home births.

High five @CraftyGin!

My friend has had 4 (dry) home births!

Mine were all dry.

Mine was in the water. It was one of the benefits of a hb for me: I knew that there was no chance of the pool being taken by someone else!

Another dry home birther here! Both of mine.

Re weighing up the risks, when pregnant with DC2 there was an illuminating horizon program that showed how many babies die unnecessarily in hospital due to to the severe midwife shortages and my local hospital was a terrible culprit. I was already convinced and had had a great HB for DC1 but that was the nail in the coffin - I honest to god felt safer at home.

Ultimately none of us know what will happen on the day nor what the outcome would have been if we’d made different choices so I feel like all women should have proper options for wherever they feel safest depending on medical advise specific to their pregnancies

Had a home birth with ds2 as well in a pool in my dining room. Was brilliant and 8 years later exh still tells everyone he meets who is considering it what a great experience it was.
Ds2 loves the fact he was born in a pool and says that’s the reason he’s such a good swimmer.

Did you ever feel guilty about having two midwives dedicated to you? I know I did until they explained that the second midwife was invariably from “bank”. It was still costly, but less so than tying up and anaesthetics and obstetrician.

Did you ever feel guilty about having two midwives dedicated to you? not really as apparently a home birth is cheaper than a hospital birth - you aren't taking a bed, being fed, cleaned up after, etc. Plus the second midwife arrived as Ds was crowning so she wasn't there long.

Homebirths are significantly cheaper than hospital births so no need to feel guilty about having two midwives - you are still saving the nhs money!

tabathatwitchett when I had my home births I did a lot of research beforehand into how different emergencies would be managed at home. Including cord prolapse.

For me, I wasn't far from hospital and could have been there in the time it would take to prep the theatre and bleep the relevant people.

I had a major pph with my last child and transferred in. I would still choose home birth again if I had another child although I don't plan to.