Can you explain more about what pains you when the sustaining pedal is overused
I don't have absolute pitch like the OP, but for me (relative pitch), it means that one chord continues on even after a new (potentially clashing) chord has been played.
To me, that just sounds weird rather than painful. What I find hard to cope with is if one person in an ensemble is singing or playing flat/sharp (e.g. 1/8 of a tone out) compared to the rest of the group - it makes me feel queasy and on edge.