I’m autistic and dyspraxic. Ask me anything!

[FordPrefect42]

Hello :) I was diagnosed with autism when I was very young but my dyspraxia went unnoticed until I was a teenager.

Feel free to ask me anything within reason and I’ll try my best to answer all questions :)

• FP42

FP42

All the forcing and grabbing by teachers sounds horrendous to me I am pleased for you that things took a turn for the better.

Thanks for the thread. I have learnt something practical about hidden meanings.

Good luck with your studies.

Hi @Boulty, I have heard that phrase before yes. I disagree with functioning labels bevause they’re based more on social acceptability rather than actual functional capacity - they’re based on how others perceive us really. Another reason I don’t agree with these labels is because if someone has HFA then people may think that they should be able to act “normally” which is why so many autistic people develop mental health problems - people often assume I don’t look autistic, as if it has a look or something! —I keep my second head tucked into my trousers. Nobody notices then—

Whereas people with LFA then have the issue of people thinking they’re incapable of anything and won’t amount to anything which is completely untrue!

In addition, I do have a comorbid SLD (dyspraxia which I mentioned in the title) - I don’t feel as though I should not be allowed to speak about my experiences just because they may not apply to everyone. We ALL share similar difficulties so this divisive attitude of people thinking there’s “real autism” and “autism lite” really doesn’t help anyone. I’m high functioning in some areas such as academic ability and having articulate speech, and low functioning in others such as my inability to tolerate certain fabrics, sounds, lights etc.

@Ohthatiswhy it was really awful, I too am glad that attitudes are changing. Thank you once again for your kind words and well wishes! :)

boulty

Sound advice. I like reading lots of different experiences and picking up tips on what works and what doesn’t. Ultimately, some or none of it will apply to my child but I quite like a MN chat

Oh massive crossing out fail there I was obviously trying to be humorous, I apologise if I have offended people with two heads or Janus if he exists.

My daughter has dyspraxia and aspergers.

We now have light reacting glasses and they've really helped with the hypersensitivity to light. Before we had tinted glasses which also helped but the light reacting ones seem more effective.

Since joining a drumming group her sensitivity to loud sounds has improved. She is much more tolerant of sudden loud sounds.

I’m a secondary teacher. How do you feel about group work in school? Do you think autistic students should be made to work in groups in order to learn collaboration skills, or should they be given the option of completing the same work individually?

FP42

My child presents similar to how you describe yourself but with a lot more co-morbid MH difficulties (although not even close to the MH difficulties experienced by the NT people in my house).

The teacher has a good question. I would also like to hear your thoughts.

@MyShinyWhiteTeeth I can’t stand drums 😳 I do wear glasses with anti glare coating which helps a little with certain lights, like headlights and shop lights.

@noblegiraffe Good question! That got me thinking. Personally I think that children on the spectrum need to gain some experience of working in groups but if it makes them more distressed or it’s counterproductive then of course that child should always be given the option to work on their own. I really struggle in group settings and have always preferred to work on my own, and that is after having been forced into group situations many years beforehand... secondary school were brilliant in this respect as I always had that opportunity, I often found people wouldn’t let me get a word in edge ways either as I wasn’t exactly popular.

@Ohthatiswhy that is interesting, I have never met anyone exactly like me before although of course I have met lots of autistic people. I don’t have any MH problems, that is if you don’t think autism is a MH problem - I personally don’t, I see it more as being like ADHD or dyslexia - I would personally argue it’s closer to a learning disability than it is to a mental health issue.

which help* even, glasses is plural 😆

FP42

Autism is not a MH issue, that’s my view.

I don’t think you will ever met someone exactly like you and I won’t either. Your description of HF and LF is familiar to me. It’s the expectation put on my child because of the HF areas and assumption that there couldn’t possibly be any LF.

Your thread is AMA so i won’t post more about us as it’s not a question!

I will read the responses to others’ questions. Thanks for answering mine.

@Ohthatiswhy yeah I agree with you on both points there - it’s not a MH problem and what you said about the expectations placed upon us. Feel free to carry on talking, I honestly don’t mind! :) No problem, if you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to ask!

I have 3Dc with autism, two of whom have also been diagnosed with dyspraxia. Your description of your own difficulties sounds just like those experienced by my 12 year old. He cannot write so uses a laptop at school. He is academically able but really struggles as teachers do not understand his memory and processing problems and think he’s being lazy. Did you have a Statement or EHCP? My child has been deemed too ‘academic’ to need one.

@zen1 Really sorry to hear about your experience, can’t say mine was much different either. Lots of teachers who refused to acknowledge my conditions. I had a statement as EHCPs didn’t exist when I was younger. I’m old school I guess 😆 I understand EHCPs are harder to get than statements because they narrowed down the criteria? If I am correct then that is awful, so many children not getting the support they deserve because of our government!

Thanks for your answer about group work Ford, interesting! I worry that allowing a student to work on their own instead of in a group is isolating them further, but I suppose if the object of the group work is to learn something (rather than just improve group work skills) then they might learn more by not being forced into a group situation that they are uncomfortable with.

You say that lots of teachers ignored your conditions. What would you have liked them to do differently?

@noblegiraffe my thoughts exactly, people learn in different ways sometimes and that’s OK.

I wish my teachers had been much more understanding, in the sense that I wish that they had acknowledged and taken into account the fact that I do have genuine difficulties. Many of my teachers were great at understanding this but of course you always get a few that think autism is a made-up excuse for challenging behaviour, or something along those lines. I wish I’d been given the opportunity to learn how to type whilst I was still in primary - I did grow up in a time where laptops and computers were commonplace after all! I also wish that I hadn’t been forced to make eye contact with certain teachers who thought I was not listening, being rude, or even lying just because I wasn’t looking at them (“Look at me when I’m talking to you Ford, it’s rude to not make eye contact”). I also wish my dyspraxia had been noticed and picked up on sooner, but I don’t blame anyone for that. It just wasn’t as well known back in the early 2000s I guess. I had a “thing” about correcting a certain teacher’s spelling mistakes and she didn’t mind me doing so, in fact she actually used to ask me to proofread her work sometimes but then I moved up a year, and corrected THAT teacher’s spelling... I ended up in detention. 😳 In hindsight I’d have liked to have been able to explain that this was just one of my “things” that I did but I couldn’t explain that very well to this particular teacher! Maybe once again, a little bit of understanding would’ve gone a long way. I was then told off again in secondary school for this reason (I find it difficult to generalise information, so I thought it would be OK to do this once I started Year 7! How wrong I was) and was asked “do you have a degree?” to which I replied “no”, of course not noticing the sarcasm, and the teacher replied “be quiet then” - even though I was right! Of course this upset me and thankfully that teacher did eventually apologise!

I also wish that I hadn’t been forced into participating in team sports which I have always been awful at. I much prefer going to the gym - we had gym equipment at my school - but I wasn’t allowed to use it. Basically I like to keep fit, but I struggle with hand-eye coordination and spatial awareness - I was often teased during any activity involving a ball and two goals, or two bats, or a wicket. I spent all my year 11 PE lessons in the large storage cupboard with a basketball, bouncing it against the walls, because no sane person would’ve thought “hey, I’d really like to play badminton with Ford today!” I know that sounds depressing but I actually enjoyed the comfort of being isolated, especially when I managed to stay still for so long in there once the lights went off! 😆

TLDR version - if I could’ve given you a two-worded answer it would have been “more understanding” but then I felt that was far too vague for an answer!

Ooh gosh, that was a bit of an essay! Sorry about that!

Oh and the funny thing was, the teachers completely failed to notice the fact that I was in the storage cupboard. It went by unnoticed for a whole academic year. 😳