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AMA
Original poster

I'm an actual life coach AMA

55 replies

PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:18

I'm not a life coach that earns 6 figures a year.

Nor a struggling life coach that pretends to earn 6 figures a year.

I'm in the middle. I have a great part time non coaching freelance job that I love and still do coaching in my spare time when I can for pocket money.

You need to speak to me if you want the truth on the life coaching industry, or the business coaching industry.

I'm an awesome coach but won't offer to coach you. I actually want to give you the truth about it all.

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FirstOfHerName · 07/07/2018 22:27

A colleague of mine wants to become a life coach. But she is...how shall I put this? Totally lacking in empathy and likes to boss people around. She can't understand why anyone wouldn't do something exactly the way she would and doesn't realise that different people have different life experiences and not everyone has grown up with the privilege she has. Is this really the best sort of personality for a life coach to have?

Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:29

No. Absolutely not. Unfortunately the marketing that coaching courses often do appeal to that kind of person.

Coaches need to be empathic, non judgemental and really good at listening.

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AvtarRamKaur · 07/07/2018 22:29

How does one even become a life coach? Don't you need to have your own life together first? Does anyone really have their life together?

Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:33

I don't believe anyone ever has their life together. With the best will in the world no life is just right.

Really good coaching training will at least teach you, if not how to get your life together, how to disconnect from your own life when helping other people.

But it will also teach you lots of coping mechanisms. And tools to deal with the main issues.

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AvtarRamKaur · 07/07/2018 22:34

Where do you train, then?

Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:34

I know the limits of coaching and refer to psychologists or psychiatrists if it's beyond my remit.

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DorothyBastard · 07/07/2018 22:36

What do you see as the differences between life coaching and counselling?

Maryzsnewaccount · 07/07/2018 22:37

What's the difference between a life coach and a counsellor? I've been for counselling, and found it really frustrating as they didn't give me any advice, just reflected my own (confused) opinions back to me.

I think if I was to pay for life coaching I'd want a guarantee they would fix my life Grin

Theshittyendofthestick · 07/07/2018 22:38

Oooh...interesting.
What do you do for people? I've thought about getting a life coach but never been quite sure what it would help me achieve (sorry if that sounds arsey - really not meant that way)

Plsbemyturn · 07/07/2018 22:39

What clients do you have at the moment? What do they expect from you?

Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:39

Avtar

I chose an ICF accredited course.

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Maryzsnewaccount · 07/07/2018 22:41

x-post Dorothy Smile

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 07/07/2018 22:42

Are clients ever dissatisfied at the end of their course of sessions?

When you start with a new client does the solution seem obvious to you from the start, but you spend the time helping the client find the answer? Or do you genuinely not know which direction the sessions will lead?

Do you ever get clients who you just can't work with?

I also knew somebody doing a Coaching course who was just awful, no empathy, really poor communication skills, panicking and overreacting about small things. Funny that she was attracted to the course!

Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:42

Coaching and counselling have different basis. Neither will give advice as such but coaching looks at the present and sets goals for the future.

Counselling helps you deal with the past.

As a coach I don't dig into the past although I will take stuff you tell me into consideration. I'm looking at getting you to do stuff right now that will help you take those small steps to get better.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:43

I didn't realise this would be so popular. I'm going to bed soon but will answer you all as much as I can. Tonight or tomorrow.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:46

shittyendof I am a neutral cheerleader. Not afraid to kick my clients up the arse. But always on their side. After every session they leave with goals and targets. And I make sure that they stick to those goals.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:50

HopelesslyDevoted.

I never know at the beginning what they need.

I do a free hour chat and goal setting session before I decide if I want to coach them or not. (Yes, I am that fussy)

Some people are uncoachable. I don't quite know how to explain how I know but I pick it up within about 5 minutes of chat.

I can't work miracles. People need to want to work on themselves.

It's like someone going to the gym and asking a trainer to transform them. They need to be able to put the effort in. The gym coach can't do everything.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:52

HopelesslyDevoted

The way many coaching courses are marketed they are a money making business and attract people who are desperate or rich. They promise huge money from being a coach.

I would like the coaching industry to be reformed and for training to be more selective and more thorough.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:55

Hopelessly

I have never had a dissatisfied client. To date.

I think one or two haven't got what they hoped they would get (ie easy solutions) but they have admitted that.

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Original poster
PhoenixRisen · 07/07/2018 22:59

Pls. I have a mix of clients. Some are corporate and the coaching is paid by their companies.

Some are corporate and paying their own way.

Some are stay at home mum's wanting to either get back into the workplace or work out what they want to do while being a sahm.

I only take people on for 1-3 sessions at a time. Moat people don't need more than that to get them moving.

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DorothyBastard · 08/07/2018 06:55

I’m still not sure I understand about the difference between counselling and life coaching. How is life coaching different from here-and-now based counselling, such as Person-Centred or CBT, which deal with the present and not the client’s past?

katseyes7 · 08/07/2018 09:26

This is really interesting! l'm seriously thinking about training as a life coach. Thank you for this thread!

DiamondsBestFriend · 08/07/2018 09:39

I am a life coach but am currently not practicing due to personal reasons. I also think however that the industry needs a massive overhall in order for it to remain a viable one as currently the majority of so-called coaches are all about how much money they can make or how much money you could be making if you signed up to their online business course etc.

For me, I explain the differences between coaching as counselling as:

As a coach we look to set goals for the future while taking a look at where the obstacles have come from in order to put them behind the client.

Whereas counselling is very much a case of “tell me about your childhood.”

DorothyBastard · 08/07/2018 11:01

I can see how that is different from Psychoanalysis or other Psychodynamic counselling approaches, but how does Life Coaching differ from here-and-now counselling approaches? Goal setting sounds very similar to CBT for example.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 08/07/2018 11:08

What do you make of all these MLM members (eg. Forever Living) who call themselves life coaches, business coaches etc without a qualification or course to their name?