I'm a health visitor AMA

[CosmicTeacup]

I'm going to regret posting this aren't I?

Cosmic thank you.

Thank you for posting. I found the HV I dealt with helpful both when DS was born and his development checkups

I think it's sad that so many people here have poor experiences

I worked in a very deprived area in an inner city. I can’t remember our team having any complaints made and our service was well received. This was despite many of the families being open to social services.

What's the smallest baby you've ever seen?

Thankyou. I have pnd and my son is being assessed for autism so I would have thought I would have had more contact with the HV or at least been told when the old one left and the new one started.

I liked the service esp with my first. But I feel our hv massively over stepped her remit by suggesting dh took our baby to mils once week.

It was not her place to suggest that and the way she said it sounded formal.. Like something you have to do.

Mil had had massive go at me shortly post partum and it sent me into tailspin.

Hv knew this and I explained dh not that close to them.
She should have framed this advice in a different way as personal opinion.
I think much of what hv say needs to be clear as professional medial stuff or personal opinion.

@Arlothe7footdinosaur the smallest baby I've seen was around 2kg but any smaller than that and they tend to still be in hospital anyway so wouldn't be seen until discharge. I did have a baby on my caseload born at 23 weeks though, he was obviously in hospital for a long time so wasn't seen by a HV until he was a few months old.

@elliejjtiny in that case you should have had more contact

Is it normal for a health Visitor to ask lots of personal questions? After my second baby the HV came to my home and asked all types of thongs about my life and my husband. I found it very intrusive and just asked that my baby’s 10 month review (scheduled to be in my home) be cancelled. Will I be on a ‘bad mum’ list now? Why all the nosy questions? I felt itvwas unfair as the HV was in a position of authority and I was recovering from a having a baby. I felt she took advantage of that bybadking personal questions about my life and about my husband.

I'm amazed at the different levels of service referred to here.

My HV came in, sat down and asked if we could turn the TV on. It was the day that they were announcing whether London had got the 2012 Olympics. Looking back I should have been assertive to say no, but with very premature twins, I was just trying to keep it all together. We sat in silence for about 20 mins whilst she watched the announcement, then stayed for about 10 mins, said I had it under control and left.

Is it a problem if someone's home is being renovated? We pulled our house apart when I was pregnant and for various reasons (busy DH and other expenses) it's been a building site for about ten months now. My HV keeps asking if my kitchen is finished yet and I don't see why it's relevant?

Also, do you get paid extra for getting women to attend a bf group? My HV has nagged me to attend her group for nearly 6 months now and I've said no every time, so not sure what incentive she has to continue nagging me? Clearly it's not for my benefit as I'm bf successfully and have said numerous times that I'm not interested.

Who was the oldest mum you've seen?

Blueisland it's not done to be nosy. It's done to check everything is okay and that there aren't any issues. For example there is a question on domestic violence but it will only be asked if mum is on her own. It's to build a picture. Maybe stop thinking they are there to judge you. They will offer support and point you towards organisations that can help. If they think there is risk to a child being abused or neglected, then they will refer, as should be done.

I work in this area but not quite a HV. Biggest baby was 11lbs 5oz! Smallest less than 2lbs.

Anon, I think that’s almost worse. Having a public official come into my home to check for abuse... sounds like something from 1984. And this is under the guise of being a ‘health visitor’. I fond it creepy.

I just don't want anyone trying to work out if I need support, though. If I want help, I will ask for it. There is a legal acknowledgement that parents can cope with their children and that should be recognised. Secretly (and it usually is secret) checking that parents are competent under the guise of offering support (what support is out there anyway?!) is just bonkers. I don't want my home evaluated or my weaning tactics and I'm at a loss to know who would.

His often do babies poo in your scales? My d's did this and I said "oh dear, sorry, this must be an occupational hazard ", little laugh, etc. HV was horrified and said it had never happened before.
Do you get any training on dealing with prems? HV clearly felt out of her depth and gave several pieces of advice that contradicted the neonatal unit. I felt sorry for her because it seemed like she was set up to fail - she came across as incompetent right from the start. It made for an uneasy, unhelpful and short relationship!!

My eldest weed on the ceiling in baby weighing clinic! With all my others I hovered anxiously with the nappy in my hand as she weighed them

With my 3rd baby we had a male HV who always wore navy. My refluxy ds3 used to leave a trail of milky puke over his jumper every single time. He was not impressed.

@Blueisland to a degree yes. But you should always be told that they're asked to everyone

@CanaBanana not a problem at all. She probably keeps asking because she is showing she remembers you, it's to try to build a relationship. And, no, we don't get paid extra but if not enough people attend groups the groups get cut.

@kitchenrollinrollinrollin you may be capable of asking for support but not everyone is! There are those that don't recognise the problem even if their child is at risk, those that hide it, those that are too scared to ask for help and those that don't know how. As for the support there's breastfeeding groups, children's therapies, baby groups, benefits advice, antenatal classes, esol classes, dv support, early help, mental health support workers...

@ChadySharacter they don't poo on the scales that often but I've had my scales flooded a few times! We don't get a huge amount of training in prem babies but we're lucky in my area that we have specialist HVs for preemies. I know not every area does.

@Arlothe7footdinosaur I did an antenatal visit for a 49 year old, IVF pregnancy. She moved before giving birth though so I don't know how she got on.

I have had very mixed experiences of he - some amazing and some awful.

I would say to the hv on here please try to remember that what you hear your colleagues say they say and what you see on observed visits may not be the same as how things are said and done behind closed doors!

I used to do the six week check with the GP. He took the nappy of a baby boy, to examine him, and the baby peed into his briefcase. 😂 He was such a lovely doctor, all the staff and the patients were a little bit in love with him. 😍