I’m a priest - ask me anything!

[RevInTheHouse]

I’m a fairly young (and quite normal I think) Church of England priest. Am married with children

Clionba

We don’t argue about it although we obviously do disagree on things.
He’s not the kind of atheist I often see on MN that talks about imaginary friends etc and patronises my faith (no offence but I’ve seen some very mocking atheist posts on MN recently). He doesn’t believe in God but has no issue with the fact I do and vice versa. I think I am very lucky to have such a supportive husband though as his whole life has changed since I was ordained.

That's interesting, thank you. He obviously supports your ministry and you have mutual respect.

Clionba

But we are raising dc as Christian and this was discussed long before we got married and long long before I became ordained. It would have been a deal breaker for me although the dc know their dad doesn’t believe and I want them to make their own minds up.

It must bother you a bit, that he doesn't believe?

Clionba

I would like it if he did believe, but it doesn’t actively bother me that he doesn’t if that makes sense. It’s always been this way even before ordination. I know Christian couples where they disagree on things and have terrible issues, such as women in ministry and biblical interpretation. Dh and I are both quite laid back and liberal so maybe that’s why it works.
We do argue about politics sometimes but that’s another thread!

Excellent! You sound like a lovely couple!

My husband is also an atheist

sparklydust

I believe the passages about sexuality and gender generally (not just same sex relationships) are very context bound, particularly in OT. Some of it appears to relate to promiscuity, which I’d say wasn’t ideal for Christian living, or arguably even non consensual sex, which is obviously wrong. Loving committed same sex relationships are not mentioned..... and of course that is what marriage is!

There are many things in the Bible which we would never do in today’s context and Christians don’t question this. But with sexuality some Christians latch onto phrases and use them to condemn others, whilst intentionally or ignorantly discarding other bits. Best example is divorce- I know many Christians who are ok with divorce but not homosexuality, even though divorce isn’t the one Jesus actually mentioned. It’s bizarre that some Christians become so obsessed with the bedroom habits of others. That time could be better spent looking at social justice, helping the vulnerable etc...... the stuff Jesus commanded us to do.

Same sex marriage is a more nuanced argument than generally being ‘anti homosexuality’ but I still think the Bible verses about a man and woman were written because in that context it was the only option.
The procreation argument (which lots of Christians use against same sex marriage) makes me cross as that’s like saying women past menopause or with fertility issues shouldn’t marry.
That was a bit ranty but in my BA and MA I took modules where I could look at these issues from a Biblical and ethical perspective and this has only reinforced what I believe.

Do you believe in the spiritual world literally, and if so, did you encounter any 'problems' along your journey to the priesthood?

Yes but not necessarily in a literal sense. I believe in good and evil and both are at work. It was tough at times and sometimes I felt held at the heel going forward.

When did you receive your calling?

That may be outing as it’s quite a story.....!

Thanks revinthehouse for your answers! I'd love to do a module on something like that but thus far, our MA doesn't have one running.

And as for your second answer, that's exactly how I'm feeling right now, like something is constantly trying to pull me back whilst I feel God pulling me forward. Almost like a tug of war

And no worries about the last question, I understand!

Are you training residentially sparklydust?

Thanks Rev, this has been really interesting.

Someone mentioned earlier about wanting to go to church and not quite being sure what to do, and I just wanted to share my story. I was brought up very loosely as a Christian, but we only ever went to church at Christmas. In my early 20s I started feeling that I wanted to go to church. This felt completely unacceptable in my social circle (which was recent university graduates at the time) and I kind of snuck off without telling anyone. I did feel quite embarrassed. I tried out a couple of different churches, just the ones nearest to me, but neither felt quite right even though people were very nice. In fact, I think that was part of the problem as I wanted to just sneak in at the back and not be noticed, but they kept trying to talk to me!

Then I moved house and tried again, again in the nearest church, and this time it did feel like 'home', even though it was a Catholic church and there were loads of times when I didn't know what to do. My dad is a Catholic, so I was able to ask him some things after a while. That was about 12 years ago and I have been going fairly regularly ever since. I took the 'journey in faith' course and was christened about 6 years ago. After all this time, I still haven't 'come out' to many of my friends who I think would think it very weird as it is assumed that everyone is an atheist (I work in the arts). I find it hard to explain what I believe or what I get out of it, although I don't know why as practically everyone I know does some form of yoga/meditation (me included), so there is clearly a need for spirituality. I think because when many people think of church they think of child abuse, pro-lifers, homophobes etc. and the positive messages are not getting through.

Sorry, that was an epic post

What do you think of those priests that have gone over to the Catholic Church to avoid women priests. I'm a rubbish lay Catholic and I think they are a dreadful bunch of hypocrites who can get over transubstantiation more easily than women priests. It's also pretty disgusting that they come over married with children.
I'm guessing you need to have a more charitable view.

Ps - I'm pro equal marriage, women priests, married priests, pro-choice. I told you I was a rubbish Catholic.

Hi Rev. I must say I am enjoying the religious themed AMA threads.

What do you make of the efforts to accommodate within the CofE such very disparate views - the conservative evangelicals, the liberals, the Anglo-Catholics etc. I'm thinking especially of bishops and parishioners would don't accept women priests and the opposite view co-existing.

I'm a Catholic married to an Anglican who is on the conservative evangelical end of things, and I find it all a bit weird. You all seem to believe such wildly varying things and sometimes it barely seems like the same religion from one end to the other. How do you reconcile 'the Anglican communion'?

FloralBunting

I think it can be an immense challenge that views in the Anglican Church vary so much but I can also see strength in that diversity. Within a congregation you may still get a range of views which can be difficult and certainly makes for interesting discussion groups!
There are certain foundations and things in common in the CofE, things I gad to sign up to and declare when I was ordained such as the Creed and the 39 articles of religion.

bellinisurge

I think it’s their choice and the CofE is still spilt on this in parts. Sadly I’ve met some hostility from CofE priests who don’t accept the ordination of women. However, I also have a good friend and had some colleagues of this view that are lovely and respectful despite this significant difference of theological view. It works because because we put our relationship first and differences second.
I know a few lay catholics who get frustratrated by this too though (especially the married priests) so you’re not alone!

ColouringPencils

Thank you for that story and I’m so pleased you found a church that was hospitable and that nurtured your faith

I felt similarly to you when I felt called to ordination! I was petrified of telling my mainly atheist and agnostic friendship group in case they thought I was crazy! They probably do but they’ve been so supportive and most came to my ordination which was lovely. I’m everyone’s token ‘priest friend’ but to them I’m still very much me - my personality hasn’t disappeared.

You’re right that there are many positive things about church and faith and many of the stereotypes are not true in the majority of places. I do completely understand why people are angry and cynical about the church though, and as Christians we have to ensure that we are beacons of love and light in our world

Revinthehouse no, I am training within the diocese full time (due to circumstances).

sparklydust

Prayers ascending. There are pros and cons to different types of training. I was mostly unhappy being at theological college and would possibly have trained differently if I’d known what it would be like!

"They claim every penny of expenses. And actually work 35 hour weeks and claim hours back if they have to go out to do anything"

So sad to hear a Christian criticising that. So sad that you don't believe in workers' rights.
And why should the wives work for you too? Is the same expected of vicars' husbands???

There certainly are revinthehouse. Thank you for your prayers

"They claim every penny of expenses. And actually work 35 hour weeks and claim hours back if they have to go out to do anything"

We are actively encouraged to claim realistic expenses here. I work a lot more than 35 hours some weeks and don’t claim hours back (never even heard of this) but claim expenses for work related things with a clear conscience as I work bloody hard and am often out of pocket doing so!