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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feeling inadequate about my body because of the trans ideology

222 replies

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 18:59

Hi everyone! It's my first post on this forum because I'm so desperate to find at least some support and to feel seen, I feel like I'm the only woman in world who has this issue and it's so distressing, and since this forum is one of few gender critical ones, I'm here.

I want to say in advance that I have nothing against trans people, I'm fully supportive of them, I think they're people that deserve love and help. But this doesn't align with my feelings about my body. I've always been a little different from other women. Not completely masculine but tall (5'8), fairly straight body type, with moderate body hair. Also I have tuberous breasts which make me feel like I'm not womanly enough because I want to have a child in future and I want to breastfeed but tuberous breasts can be an obstacle in longer breastfeeding. Those all features make me feel less womanly. And it's so upsetting. But what makes me even more self conscious and sad is that I share some common features with trans women. And it makes me so sad when people compare women like me and trans women who are biologically males. I feel like my womanhood is fragile, that I am not that different from a biological male that takes HRT. I'm so scared of voicing this opinion because people would go "why are tou disgusted by the fact that you abd trans women share similar features? Trans women are women!". But I'm gender critical. So for me it's actually all backwards. It's that the fact that a male can realistically change his body to look more like mine and my unconventional features being used to prove that trans women are real women too that makes me so distressed. To the point I actually don't consider i have breasts, even though they're moderately sized and noticeable, I just feel like I'm not me.

I'm sorry if I offended someone. I'm just so sad and upset about how i feel about my body. I hope at least one wan here feels the same. I don't feel seen at all and everything on the internet makes me feel bigoted. Thank you!

OP posts:
BettyBooper · 16/10/2026 19:41

BackToLurk · 16/10/2026 19:38

It’s lovely that so many ‘new’ and ‘first-time’ posters find the courage to start threads here. Just heart warming.

Isn't it just? Warms the cockles.

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:40

slughater · 16/10/2026 19:36

I'm sorry you're feeling like this

but really the features you have in common with TW are mostly the features we all share as human beings !
you may be on the tall side for a woman but so what
I think we all have a distorted idea about what 'normal' body hair is for a woman as we are all persuaded we should have none and then angst about getting rid of what we have- so you can bin that worry
as for your breasts, I had to google tuberous breasts and I have spent a lot of time around bf women, including training as a bf peer supporter- most of the anatomical problems women face ime is to do with the shape of the nipple. Googling brought up many cases of women being able to bf with tuberous breasts and, in any case as we know there is a safe and satisfactory alternative.

please don't let the fact that some men modify their bodies to resemble women distract you from the fact that you ARE a woman and therefore your body is a woman's body. All women suffer from growing up in a world that tells them their bodies are 'wrong' in one way or another- you feel that you have a more extreme version of this but what about a woman who is very flat chested? or has thin hair? or is so short she is taken for a child? or whose huge breasts give her back ache?
we're all women and all different and what men think or choose to do with their bodies is neither here nor there

Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

OP posts:
BackToLurk · 16/10/2026 19:38

It’s lovely that so many ‘new’ and ‘first-time’ posters find the courage to start threads here. Just heart warming.

slughater · 16/10/2026 19:36

I'm sorry you're feeling like this

but really the features you have in common with TW are mostly the features we all share as human beings !
you may be on the tall side for a woman but so what
I think we all have a distorted idea about what 'normal' body hair is for a woman as we are all persuaded we should have none and then angst about getting rid of what we have- so you can bin that worry
as for your breasts, I had to google tuberous breasts and I have spent a lot of time around bf women, including training as a bf peer supporter- most of the anatomical problems women face ime is to do with the shape of the nipple. Googling brought up many cases of women being able to bf with tuberous breasts and, in any case as we know there is a safe and satisfactory alternative.

please don't let the fact that some men modify their bodies to resemble women distract you from the fact that you ARE a woman and therefore your body is a woman's body. All women suffer from growing up in a world that tells them their bodies are 'wrong' in one way or another- you feel that you have a more extreme version of this but what about a woman who is very flat chested? or has thin hair? or is so short she is taken for a child? or whose huge breasts give her back ache?
we're all women and all different and what men think or choose to do with their bodies is neither here nor there

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:35

Imdunfer · 16/10/2026 19:31

People.

I am similar in body shape, from the sound of it (but I'm normal A cup), to the OP and I am mistaken for a trans male. By women and men. I see fear in the eyes of women in the gym changing room until they work out that I'm female. A bloke in a supermarket I was arguing with the other day actually asked if I was trans and that was why I was so bolshy.

Unlike the OP, I'm confident in my body and my reaction to this situation is to channel it into anger that the trans movement is dragging women back into a stereotype of what it means to be a female.

Edited

Omg, I'm so sorry that this happened to you, it still sounds bad. I'm glad that you're confident! I want to learn that confidence too

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/10/2026 19:33

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:31

No one specifically told me i look like one but certain features are called manly by people on the internet. I've seen tuberous breasts being compared to gynaecomastia. Let's say I don't feel very happy about that

Not by anybody who has ever seen either.

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:32

Betterversionofme · 16/10/2026 19:08

I can't relate but I see how that can be difficult. It's very understandable that you feel how you feel.

Thank you for understanding

OP posts:
Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:32

Can't tell if you're being ironic or not, I'm sorry. I didn't consider that I need therapy but I guess i need it after all

OP posts:
Imdunfer · 16/10/2026 19:31

MellowSubmarine · 16/10/2026 19:09

Who compares women like you to trans women?

People.

I am similar in body shape, from the sound of it (but I'm normal A cup), to the OP and I am mistaken for a trans male. By women and men. I see fear in the eyes of women in the gym changing room until they work out that I'm female. A bloke in a supermarket I was arguing with the other day actually asked if I was trans and that was why I was so bolshy.

Unlike the OP, I'm confident in my body and my reaction to this situation is to channel it into anger that the trans movement is dragging women back into a stereotype of what it means to be a female.

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:31

MellowSubmarine · 16/10/2026 19:09

Who compares women like you to trans women?

No one specifically told me i look like one but certain features are called manly by people on the internet. I've seen tuberous breasts being compared to gynaecomastia. Let's say I don't feel very happy about that

OP posts:
Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:29

AIBUfamilydrama · 16/10/2026 19:11

I kind of get it, I was infertile for a long time, and I HATE when TRAs use the “not all women have periods or can have kids” etc to make their point about TW also being women. Periods or not It didn’t make me any less of a woman and I find it highly offensive to be compared to a TW in that way

Same. it's so offensive. I can only imagine how infertile women must feel being used as a gotcha in these debates...

OP posts:
Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:28

BettyBooper · 16/10/2026 19:24

Be assured, OP, that I see you.

I really do.

I saw you from the thread title.

1/10.

Thank you!

OP posts:
Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:27

TeenToTwenties · 16/10/2026 19:27

I don't understand.
Nothing you have said makes it seem that people compare your female body to that of a man / transwoman.

I guess I'm just insane haha

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 16/10/2026 19:27

I don't understand.
Nothing you have said makes it seem that people compare your female body to that of a man / transwoman.

BettyBooper · 16/10/2026 19:24

Be assured, OP, that I see you.

I really do.

I saw you from the thread title.

1/10.

AIBUfamilydrama · 16/10/2026 19:11

I kind of get it, I was infertile for a long time, and I HATE when TRAs use the “not all women have periods or can have kids” etc to make their point about TW also being women. Periods or not It didn’t make me any less of a woman and I find it highly offensive to be compared to a TW in that way

MellowSubmarine · 16/10/2026 19:09

Who compares women like you to trans women?

Cleanit · 16/10/2026 19:08

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:03

Yes, I've been told I need therapy. I'm really embarrassed about this whole post but I really need to hear if someone feels the same. I feel sorry for even writing this and for being so pathetic 😭

Are you alone?

Cleanit · 16/10/2026 19:08

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:03

Yes, I've been told I need therapy. I'm really embarrassed about this whole post but I really need to hear if someone feels the same. I feel sorry for even writing this and for being so pathetic 😭

Don’t be embarrassed

Instead start researching therapists. Tonight. And contact on Monday first thing

Betterversionofme · 16/10/2026 19:08

I can't relate but I see how that can be difficult. It's very understandable that you feel how you feel.

Starsandmoonlight1 · 16/10/2026 19:03

Yes, I've been told I need therapy. I'm really embarrassed about this whole post but I really need to hear if someone feels the same. I feel sorry for even writing this and for being so pathetic 😭

OP posts:
Cleanit · 16/10/2026 19:00

Your self esteem is that fragile? OP - therapy. Sharpish.