A Man in a dress- how would you feel?

I phrased it badly and should have put it inside "".

When women started to wear trousers etc it would have been considered to be emulating men. However, it is now completely normalised because the patriarchal systems in place see men as better and women as lesser so a woman is moving up whereas a man doing the converse is moving down. It's the same with jobs that were traditionally male or female. There is more respect for a female doctor than there is for a male nurse.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself here

Yes, of course you can ask why.

No - I don’t believe that a man who wears a dress ‘just genuinely likes his it looks and feels’ - I believe that a man who wears a dress because he genuinely likes how it looks and feels is likely sexually aroused by his transvestism. This is my feeling, instinct and belief.

This belief was encouraged/ confirmed by a podcast ‘Rosebud’ by Giles Brandreth that I listened to, in which he interviews Grayson Perry. Perry (famously out transvestite) explains that by his reckoning the majority of these cross-dressers do it for the sexual thrill. From memory, he estimates something in the region of 75% - 85%. He, himself, wears oversized voluminous skirts and dresses to hide his erection.

I actually have respect for Grayson Perry for being honest and clear about his sexual motives for his transvestism and not lying about it.

Having said that, I, myself, don’t want to be around paraphilias. They tend to cluster so what initially emerges as transvestism/ autogynaephilia may go on to present in other sexual perversions.

Has this man shown you the item in question?

Is it a tweedy sensible midi dress; or a pvc mini halterneck with accompanying fishnets?
His choice of item will tell you more about his motivations.

Also strongly second the pp who commented about this being a toe in the water, so be very clear on your boundaries with this man from the get-go so there can be no comeback later.

I think it's great. I've been pleased to note more guys in recent years just wearing skirts or dresses, and I'm not talking kilts, but just wearing them without any sense it's some big statement. Probably more common here in London than elsewhere but I think it shows men not seeing 'women's clothes' as 'humiliating"for a man, or as dress-up, but just something they can wear.

There is a difference between men wearing clothes more traditionally associated with women that are cut for men’s shapes (like I’ve seen David Beckham/Harry Styles do).

And men wearing clothes that are designed for women.

I don’t necessarily have a problem with either, but I would be more wary of the motivations of the latter.

Do you live in Transylvania?

Wouldn’t remotely bother me and is commonplace where I live.

There is a tatooist in my area who wears knee length heavy skirts and kilts. He’s very ‘manly’ and looks good because he’s not emulating or fetishising Women.
He wears big boots and leather jackets with them.

It would all turn on how he behaved/ generally conducted himself. Provided he wasn't attempting any kind of offensive parody of a woman then i wouldn't care. More Harry Styles than Sam Smith. As PP says I'm probably granting HS a little bit of 'pretty privilege' there, but...

There is a thread here about "Policing what men wear", I think the conclusions from it were that men would be banned from buying clothing online and that all online shops require ID to be able to implement the ban. All physical shops where men are allowed to buy clothing have a list of what clothes men are allowed to buy and that anything deemed feminine would be on the list of prohibited items for men.

the music/arty types, the harry styles/kurt cobains of the world then it just seems fine.
Dave the brickie seems weirder. Probably a me issue to resolve.

its hard to get our heads around isn’t it?

my dp personality wise is a gentle soul but looks like a thug. Big, tattoos, skin head, can’t help but feel he’d like a right knob in a dress. But my son has a pal who can play any instrument in front of him and wears a bit of guyliner now and again when he performs, if he wore a strappy number I imagine he’d look great, tall and skinny and looks like he could have been in the manic street preachers back in the day.

I have a male colleague who wears clothes that would be from the women’s section, sometimes dresses and heels, male name, doesn’t care what pronouns people use, uses the male facilities.

The first time I saw him in a sequined top I was a little thrown, mostly because I was (wrongly) worried it would be the start of the pronouns and toilet debacle,but didn’t react. Now I know he just a bloke that like heels, it doesn’t bother me at all.

I hate heels, and we’re not a heels expected sort of workplace, so I do wonder why anyone would choose to wear them, but only in the same way I wonder about female colleagues in the same.

Silly women who haven’t ‘twigged’! 🙄

Do you consider yourself a gender critical FEMINIST or is that final bit not important to you?

Totally depends on the guy and the attitude he had. My boyfriend used to rock a dress in the late 90s, early 2000s but I find myself giving side eye to many men who do it now, it’s often a bit lame. But not really anything to do with me unless he’s claiming it makes him a woman.

For myself, I married a pretty convential man. That was my choice. It wouldn't suit me if he started going out in a dress or indeed dressing like Mr Tumble. That's not what I signed up for. Any woman marrying adult DS would probably not be very surprised if he started wearing dresses as he is already unconventional.

Sorry , I too am fairly new here and have no agenda whatsoever and also butter does not melt in my mouth?

It is time for whoever it was on here to post that photo of the guy in the grey skirt/dress type outfit that he designed and made for himself because women's clothes didn't fit quite right on him but he wanted to wear that kind of style

...please

I think it all depends on context and the clothing itself. If, for example, a man in a professional context is wearing an effeminate dress then there can be a problem because it is distracting and 'look at me' and undermines trust somehow. I would feel the same if someone had their face tattooed. If they are in club, dancing away then, so be it. I might not like the look of a tattooed face but it is their face...
If a man is wearing a sarong (at the right time) or a kilt or a kind of pretty cardigan or something that is within social norms then that is of course nothing to mind about. There are clothes that are gender neutral but not cross dressing. No problem with non conformity unless it is jarring. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying I'd prefer my child's teacher or my husband didn't look scary or bizarre.
I've got a problem with a lot of things that are public displays of sexual kinks and this is not confined to men wearing dresses.

It means some posters may be sceptical of you saying "new" because this board gets regular visitors who are just here for negative screenshots

I’d say he should go for it. As long as he used male spaces whilst wearing it, he should do what he likes. I’d definitely support him.

Innit

Hmm, are we talking a partner here or sibling perhaps?

I’d say that the man putting on the dress because they like it is them dipping one toe into the pool. It’s beginning at A, and there’s everything in between till they get to Z.

Maybe you need to wait and see what happens. Is it a dress today, then 2 weeks later being a bit bolder?

You need to have a think about what your boundaries are and where your line in the sand is if it’s a partner. There are lots of women on here whose partner started off like this and they were supportive, only later to find that they were being used as a muse to copy.

I’m not sure how I’d react to my DH dressing up as a woman. I’m not sure where my line would be, but I do know that my line would be drawn pretty quickly.

The reality is that most dresses skirts for women are designed to fit the female form, so a man wearing something designed for a woman's shape is going to look odd.

Women can get away with wearing men's clothes more easily because they just look baggy.

However men already wear tunics and kilts which are effectively dresses and skirts, and there is no reason why they shouldn't be more commonly worn or adapted to suit a more western European aesthetic.