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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"A Queer History of the United States for Young People" by Michael Bronski: people who don't fit into the molds society forces on them are queer

152 replies

YankSplaining · 13/10/2026 23:06

I'm an American in the US (see username), and I saw this book on display at the local public library. I figured I'd probably have some disagreements with it re: gender and transgender issues, but I was not expecting to find out that disguising yourself as a man, to go to war in 1781, made you "queer."

Deborah Sampson was a woman during the American Revolution who disguised herself as a man to go fight the British. She's one of those figures that lots of little girls find inspiring when they learn about the Revolutionary War in American schools. So, here's this book, talking about Deborah Sampson:

"When it came to gender and relationships, many of America's founding fathers and mothers behaved in ways that were outside the mainstream. As we've seen, gender and sexuality are not the same. After serving in the army as a man, Deborah Sampson married a man and had children and lived as a woman. There is no evidence that she had homosexual relationships.

"The terms we use for LGBTQ people did not exist back in 1781. If we had to choose a word to describe Deborah Sampson, we might choose 'queer.' This term is used today with pride as an umbrella term for anyone who does not fit into mainstream rules about sexuality or gender.

"Deborah Sampson never heard the word 'queer' used that way, nor did anyone else at the time. However, there is value in using it to describe her, because it helps us understand that throughout history there have been people who did not fit into the molds society tried to force them into. Deborah Sampson was one of those people, and in that sense, she was certainly queer."

Talk about trying to force someone into a mold! This is clearly a woman who considered herself a woman, but no, now she's got to be queer, because other women all fit into mainstream rules about sexuality or gender. Other women all fit into the molds society tries to force them into. You can be a female stereotype, or you can be queer. These are the rules, apparently.

I know American soldiers in the Revolution might not be high on the list of people whose historical reputations Mumsnetters care about, but this was the most likely-to-be-sympathetic forum I could think of in which to rant.

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nicepotoftea · Yesterday 16:03

Tears0fTheMushroom · Yesterday 16:01

Males = testicles
Females = ovaries

HTH

Also kids who take puberty blockers are still recognisably their birth sex as they grow into adults. The underlying skeleton doesn't change shape. PBs do NOT work as advertised. And to be clear, they DO NOT go through the puberty of the opposite sex if they then go on opposite sex hormones. They just don't go through puberty at all.

You have to hope that some people never keep guinea pigs.

Tears0fTheMushroom · Yesterday 16:01

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:45

By 'morphology' do you mean the outward appearance of the body?

Yes but hormones also effect a person's psychological traits
as well.

Of course, they would also retain some of their original sex traits, resulting in the mixture of male and female secondary sex traits which makes convincing 'passing' such a challenge.

Not if they haven't been through their own birth sex puberty.

So as far as I can see, changes in 'sex traits as in hormones & morphology' are just superficial changes to male and female bodies, which retain so much of their actual biological sex that there's no reason to say they are anything other than biological men and biological women, with some adjustments to their external morphology.

Technically speaking trans people are still able to change some sex traits which is the point hence 'biological sex' being a vague term unless the biological framework is specified.

Males = testicles
Females = ovaries

HTH

Also kids who take puberty blockers are still recognisably their birth sex as they grow into adults. The underlying skeleton doesn't change shape. PBs do NOT work as advertised. And to be clear, they DO NOT go through the puberty of the opposite sex if they then go on opposite sex hormones. They just don't go through puberty at all.

DeafLeppard · Yesterday 07:52

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 08:11

Listen, if you want to kid yourself that females like Stock are the norm & have no social associations with male coded presentation,

So there we have it. Women really want to be men so they adopt a male look. So bloody tedious. And as another poster says, short hair and no makeup on women is hardly unusual, for whatever reason the women choose, but it's vanishingly unlikely it's because they think they're 'male-coded,' whatever the bloody hell that is.

Gosh, someone get on the phone to Twiggy. Apparently she must be trans?

And it’s interesting, that point about pattern recognition. We’re very good at pattern recognition when it comes to recognising who’s a risk to us. Hint: the pattern isn’t whether they’re wearing a frock…

Tears0fTheMushroom · Yesterday 00:54

Imdunfer · 14/10/2026 10:23

... sorry to confront you all with reality but she is queer by socially constructed standards. She can reject that all she likes but it doesn't change the reality of social constructionism.

I accept there is a group of people who have a socially constructed standard by which she is, to them, "queer".

I do not accept that this is universally accepted, I don't even agree that it is the majority view.

By that definition any woman who behaves in a way which would be seen to be stereotypically male is "queer" and they most certainly are not.

The arrogance of thinking that someone can be labelled "queer" when that person does not themselves identify as queer would have been beyond belief, but it's become par for the course in the trans debate these days.

It's all about increasing the numbers to try to convince society that a small minority should have more power and influence than it does.

Its exactly the same mechanism as when we are designated "cis" because we are told we DO fit neatly into their preconceived gender category marked "woman" even though not one single woman on the planet actually does. Because no one fits. No one is "cis" by definition. It's meaningless.

Tears0fTheMushroom · Yesterday 00:46

murasaki · 14/10/2026 09:51

Surely if everyone is queer, no one is.

Yes, this is the bit ChoppingBaileyNorthernIcelandicGretelHowse is missing. NO ONE fits into all the stereotypes. Thus, by their measure, EVERYONE is queer.

Hurrah!

Or maybe it's just that everyone is an individual and no one is queer.

Either way, everyone matters, everyone deserves equal rights. Even us lowly women

BeSpoonyTurtle · 16/10/2026 16:25

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 08:11

Listen, if you want to kid yourself that females like Stock are the norm & have no social associations with male coded presentation,

So there we have it. Women really want to be men so they adopt a male look. So bloody tedious. And as another poster says, short hair and no makeup on women is hardly unusual, for whatever reason the women choose, but it's vanishingly unlikely it's because they think they're 'male-coded,' whatever the bloody hell that is.

Well said @MrsDanversGlidesAgain Tedious is puttig it far too politely

MrsOvertonsWindow · 15/10/2026 10:53

MarieDeGournay · 15/10/2026 10:38

Thank you for replying.

I think this exchange is very helpful:
Of course, they would also retain some of their original sex traits, resulting in the mixture of male and female secondary sex traits which makes convincing 'passing' such a challenge.

You replied:
Not if they haven't been through their own birth sex puberty.

This is interesting because it explains why some people are so keen to have puberty blockers prescribed to children.
'Passing' as the opposite sex is very difficult, as there is usually evidence of birth sex traits that can't be changed.
The way around that is, according to you, to avoid going through 'their own birth sex puberty.'

I'm not suggesting you are advocating that, just reflecting on what you wrote.

Am I understanding this correctly: for a transperson to have the best possible chance of 'passing' successfully as their preferred sex, they'd have to avoid going through puberty?

Puberty is occurring earlier and earlier in children - the average age is 11 for girls and 12 for boys, but it can be earlier.

So the intervention which would allow a transperson to alter their secondary sex traits sufficiently to be able to 'pass' convincingly in adulthood, i.e. prescribing puberty blockers, would have to occur earlier and earlier in a child's life?

This throws up two issues for me:
consent - the Gillick tests are, as you know, complicated and stringent, and it's not clear that a child of 11 or 12 can fully comprehend and weigh up all the possible consequences of transitioning, and of using PBs toward that end.

persistence - a child should show a long-lasting, persistent gender dysphoria/distress/incongruence before PBs can be justified - but if puberty is starting at 11 or 12 or earlier, that doesn't give much time for 'persistence' to be established, does it? Defining a child as 'a trans child' has to occur earlier and earlier in childhood.

If PBs are not deployed, sex traits associated with a person's birth sex are always going to be present, and although they have 'transitioned', they will probably always be recognisable as a biological man or a biological woman.

This goes towards explaining the campaign to prescribe PBs to children for reasons other than the ones PBs were intended for.

Great post that raises all the questions that parents and those caring about the safety of children should be asking - persistently.

MarieDeGournay · 15/10/2026 10:38

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:45

By 'morphology' do you mean the outward appearance of the body?

Yes but hormones also effect a person's psychological traits
as well.

Of course, they would also retain some of their original sex traits, resulting in the mixture of male and female secondary sex traits which makes convincing 'passing' such a challenge.

Not if they haven't been through their own birth sex puberty.

So as far as I can see, changes in 'sex traits as in hormones & morphology' are just superficial changes to male and female bodies, which retain so much of their actual biological sex that there's no reason to say they are anything other than biological men and biological women, with some adjustments to their external morphology.

Technically speaking trans people are still able to change some sex traits which is the point hence 'biological sex' being a vague term unless the biological framework is specified.

Thank you for replying.

I think this exchange is very helpful:
Of course, they would also retain some of their original sex traits, resulting in the mixture of male and female secondary sex traits which makes convincing 'passing' such a challenge.

You replied:
Not if they haven't been through their own birth sex puberty.

This is interesting because it explains why some people are so keen to have puberty blockers prescribed to children.
'Passing' as the opposite sex is very difficult, as there is usually evidence of birth sex traits that can't be changed.
The way around that is, according to you, to avoid going through 'their own birth sex puberty.'

I'm not suggesting you are advocating that, just reflecting on what you wrote.

Am I understanding this correctly: for a transperson to have the best possible chance of 'passing' successfully as their preferred sex, they'd have to avoid going through puberty?

Puberty is occurring earlier and earlier in children - the average age is 11 for girls and 12 for boys, but it can be earlier.

So the intervention which would allow a transperson to alter their secondary sex traits sufficiently to be able to 'pass' convincingly in adulthood, i.e. prescribing puberty blockers, would have to occur earlier and earlier in a child's life?

This throws up two issues for me:
consent - the Gillick tests are, as you know, complicated and stringent, and it's not clear that a child of 11 or 12 can fully comprehend and weigh up all the possible consequences of transitioning, and of using PBs toward that end.

persistence - a child should show a long-lasting, persistent gender dysphoria/distress/incongruence before PBs can be justified - but if puberty is starting at 11 or 12 or earlier, that doesn't give much time for 'persistence' to be established, does it? Defining a child as 'a trans child' has to occur earlier and earlier in childhood.

If PBs are not deployed, sex traits associated with a person's birth sex are always going to be present, and although they have 'transitioned', they will probably always be recognisable as a biological man or a biological woman.

This goes towards explaining the campaign to prescribe PBs to children for reasons other than the ones PBs were intended for.

brownbootsandhats · 15/10/2026 10:22

Male coded presentation

what we have to dress and look a certain a way to avoid giving out manly vibes ?

Or you will make assumptions? And not the ones like “oh she likes short hair”

makes me very uncomfortable

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 15/10/2026 10:16

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:58

Listen, if you want to kid yourself that females like Stock are the norm & have no social associations with male coded presentation, knock yourself out but that has very little to do with reality.

I'm wondering how young you are. I have known many women whose dress sense and hairstyles were as elegant as Kathleen Stock's, and who would have been astonished that they were presenting as butch. She wouldn't have stood out as particularly unusual in the church I attended in the '70s (where incidentally the young men nearly all had fashionably long hair).

nicepotoftea · 15/10/2026 10:16

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 10:01

It does seem that I'm contemplating a whole new existence....

You, me and most of the women popping into my local Tesco for a pint of milk or down the allotment.

We're just going to have to get used to this brave new world.

nicepotoftea · 15/10/2026 10:13

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 15/10/2026 10:06

Better to make it clear that this a metaphorical usage then. You applied a law of physics to a mental ability to recognise patterns as if pattern recognition is a billiard ball. I think that is a poor metaphor.

I'd just like to mention that humans see patterns all over the place. Random dots on a map appearing to line up, faces in clouds or flowers (pansies for instance). Some of those patterns are misleading. We also think something is "normal" not just because it is common, but because we are repeatedly told that it is normal. Apparently, normal people like noisy parties, but there are an awful lot of abnormal people who prefer to go for a quiet walk. Can we get away from the obsession with categorising everyone and looking down on those who don't conform? We have laws to regulate the most damaging behaviour, and social pressures which have both good and bad aspects.

The problem with lauding "queer" is that people who are slightly unusual and think they don't fit in latch on to this wonderful tribe of odd people, and then try to be like them. Hence all the piercings and hair colouring etc in an attempt to belong in this new tribe. The category starts off as putting up two fingers to convention, and then rapidly morphs into its own set of conventions.

I'd just like to mention that humans see patterns all over the place

Hmm. This looks like AI.

Wasn't there that poster last week with a different name posting a lot of AI mush?

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 15/10/2026 10:09

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:55

You seem confused. Individuals are free to identify with whatever they wish so there's no imposition upon them to categorise themselves in that way. The context is social categorisations that exist & their implications on self identification. There are many reasons why this has been adopted that are unrelated to the historical slur & in fact function to challenge it.

Key Reasons People Use "Queer"

All-Encompassing Umbrella Term: It serves as a broad label for anyone who is not heterosexual or not cisgender. This is helpful for people whose specific identity doesn’t fit neatly into traditional acronyms like LGBT.

Challenging Binaries: Using the term is often a deliberate choice to resist rigid, heteronormative categories like "straight versus not-straight" or strict male/female gender roles.

Political and Activist Identity: Originating heavily through late-20th-century groups like Queer nation the word carries an active, critical stance that views non-conformity as a form of social resistance rather than just a personal trait.

Reclaiming Language: The word historically functioned as a hostile slur or insult. Reclaiming it strips power away from oppressors and turns a tool of shame into a badge of pride.

Flexibility and Simplicity: It avoids the need for a hyper-specific label, allowing a person's identity or attraction to evolve dynamically over time without feeling boxed in. It is also quick and easy to say compared to longer acronyms.

Edited

I'm not confused. And please could you spare us the AI generated mush.

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 15/10/2026 10:06

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:37

Newton's laws of motion do not literally apply as physical laws in sociology, though social scientists use them as metaphors or analogies to model social systems.

Better to make it clear that this a metaphorical usage then. You applied a law of physics to a mental ability to recognise patterns as if pattern recognition is a billiard ball. I think that is a poor metaphor.

I'd just like to mention that humans see patterns all over the place. Random dots on a map appearing to line up, faces in clouds or flowers (pansies for instance). Some of those patterns are misleading. We also think something is "normal" not just because it is common, but because we are repeatedly told that it is normal. Apparently, normal people like noisy parties, but there are an awful lot of abnormal people who prefer to go for a quiet walk. Can we get away from the obsession with categorising everyone and looking down on those who don't conform? We have laws to regulate the most damaging behaviour, and social pressures which have both good and bad aspects.

The problem with lauding "queer" is that people who are slightly unusual and think they don't fit in latch on to this wonderful tribe of odd people, and then try to be like them. Hence all the piercings and hair colouring etc in an attempt to belong in this new tribe. The category starts off as putting up two fingers to convention, and then rapidly morphs into its own set of conventions.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 10:01

MarieDeGournay · 15/10/2026 09:58

Oh dear.
You realise that from this moment on, now you're a butch lesbian, you'll be chased out of the Ladies' by pitch-fork-wielding gender-critical hate-fuelled bigots? A grim future stretches ahead of you.
Thoughts and prayersFlowers
😏.

It does seem that I'm contemplating a whole new existence....

nicepotoftea · 15/10/2026 09:58

I've said this before and I'll say it again. It's so odd that being 'male coded' never seems to enable butch lesbians to get into positions of power. They seem remarkably absent from politics and media. (Certainly the lesbian interveners in the FWS Supreme Court decision have been barely noticed, despite making what I think was the decisive argument).

It's almost as though people treat them with prejudice because they don't conform but have absolutely no doubt that they are women.

MarieDeGournay · 15/10/2026 09:58

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 09:44

I'm looking at myself in a whole new light here. All those years preferring short hair and no makeup because I can't be bothered and all the time I'm a butch lesbian.

Oh dear.
You realise that from this moment on, now you're a butch lesbian, you'll be chased out of the Ladies' by pitch-fork-wielding gender-critical hate-fuelled bigots? A grim future stretches ahead of you.
Thoughts and prayersFlowers
😏.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 09:44

MrPrettyDamnCosmic · 15/10/2026 09:38

It’s the simplistic Genderist thinking. A woman with short hair & no makeup is a butch lesbian. A man with long hair & lipstick is a femme lesbian.

I'm looking at myself in a whole new light here. All those years preferring short hair and no makeup because I can't be bothered and all the time I'm a butch lesbian.

MrPrettyDamnCosmic · 15/10/2026 09:40

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 15/10/2026 01:37

Newton's laws of motion do not literally apply as physical laws in sociology, though social scientists use them as metaphors or analogies to model social systems.

Social scientists talk a load of crap.

MrPrettyDamnCosmic · 15/10/2026 09:38

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 15/10/2026 00:03

Kathleen Stock is "butch"? Blimey, I've misunderstood butch for about 40 years!

It’s the simplistic Genderist thinking. A woman with short hair & no makeup is a butch lesbian. A man with long hair & lipstick is a femme lesbian.

Beowulfa · 15/10/2026 08:55

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/10/2026 08:11

Listen, if you want to kid yourself that females like Stock are the norm & have no social associations with male coded presentation,

So there we have it. Women really want to be men so they adopt a male look. So bloody tedious. And as another poster says, short hair and no makeup on women is hardly unusual, for whatever reason the women choose, but it's vanishingly unlikely it's because they think they're 'male-coded,' whatever the bloody hell that is.

In Howseland, butch lesbians absolutely have to be benchmarked against men, because otherwise men in make-up and skirts aren't a type of women, and then the social categorisation genderwank theory collapses.

What's funny is how little interest your average lesbian actually has in men. The fact that TRAs think they spend any time or effort on "male coded presentation" is revealing in itself.

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/10/2026 08:37

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 14/10/2026 21:05

So sex stereotypes only exist now because of trans people otherwise they wouldn’t? Like in Afghanistan where trans people 'don't exist'? 🤥

In case you hadn't noticed the monumentally disgusting misogynistic discourse regarding the Cornell 7 rape, it has exactly zero relationship to trans people so it might be time to give the trans derangement syndrome a rest.

And no, rigid does not mean impossible to change.

There is no such thing as a "law of pattern recognition". And it is not a given that the majority will follow any social pattern.

The context is how social stereotypes.are created not general behaviour. Please do inform us all of the cognitive brain mechanism that creates stereotypes then. Science is all ears….

Pattern recognisition is definitely one of the main methods that people use to navigate the world, and this extends to social roles and performances and learning to decipher their shape; though, of course social roles and performances are fluid and shifting across time and culture. Biological sex, though is far more fundamental across all times and cultures even when what was is 'assigned' to it changes. The fundamental nature of sex is also a type of patterning that people understand instinctively.

Shedmistress · 15/10/2026 08:30

nicepotoftea · 15/10/2026 08:14

To be fair, perhaps people who don't leave their house much just don't know what ordinary women look like?

Very true.

Here in France most women have short hair and wear neat clothes with flat shoes. If I called any one of them 'Butch' I'd probably have to leave town.

They are literally just normal women going about their day.

I think this poster googled 'what do women look like?' and got pages of Drag Queens or something. Thanks to the algorithms.

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/10/2026 08:30

Choppingwoodcarryingwater · 14/10/2026 22:05

The answer in my view is you can't. But that's not to say its trans people who are at fault for perpetuating gender stereotypes but simply a consequence of human biology. Trans people like queer people are simply identifying in the social category that already exists…with or without them.

Edited

And in that respect gender is the performance of a role - just as Judith Butler said.

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/10/2026 08:25

'Queer' is just another label, it seems to me, in a time when people seem very keen on having a label to attach to their experience of being human in a society. The problem with labels, though, is that they have defined contours and end up acting themselves as straightjackets - often with a whole pre-conceived set of rules to go with them.

We are all non conforming in one way or other - because nobody fits every prescription.

'Sex' is not a prescription. It is an identifiable biological reality the world over. What people 'assign' to it is not the exact same thing as the fact of its existence.