Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

I understand perfectly. OP is just so busy trying to speak in soundbytes that he doesnt know what he is saying.

OP doesnt want to date trans women/trans identified men so he doesnt want them to show up in his potential matches on the dating apps he is on.

Someone confused this with sexual orientation. I said his issue is not sexual orientation, it is trans women/TIMs. If it was sexual orientation, he would specifiy that he only wants straight women (not bisexual women) to show up as potential matches. He is not saying that.

OP then came in and said actually it's just about the cocks.

So obtuse.

This 'pretending not to understand' that some posters indulge in on here is so fucking tedious.

He just said it isnt about trans women, it's about penises

😂

For fuck's sake, he's interested in women. WOMEN. Not men who'd like to be one, dick or not.

So if they are trans and have had bottom surgery, you're ok with them in your potential matches? It's all about the cock?

I'm not debating whether it is ok to cut out trans or bisexual people from your potential dating partners, I'm just saying that the OP's issue is with trans women coming up as potential matches irrespective of their sexual orientation. It isn't like he's reporting that he can't filter out bisexual women. He's saying that he can't filter out trans women automatically. That's about someone with a gender identity. Not someone who isn't straight.

That’s not the impression I got. I think that OP wants to filter out anyone who is in the TWAW camp as it’s unlikely they would be compatible.

Oh thats interesting. I’ll need to think about this. Im not in the dating market but I’d probably tend to be wary of bisexual people just because of the bridge effect/increased risk of HIV. Is that not a thing now? Or is that another thing we are not allowed to mention?

“Cis” is a highly contested and imo offensive term so please don’t be campaigning for that label. If Ive to respect other people’s identities then they can jolly well respect my dislike of “cis”. Fair’s fair.

He doesnt want to specify sexual orientation. He doesn't want trans women to show up in his matches. He doesn't want to cut out anyone bisexual for instance.

Im sure OP won’t want a 2nd campaign but surely having an account deleted for wanting to specify sexual orientation will be Discrimination under the Equality Act?

ETA Its the converse of that gay wedding cake case from years ago?

That's a whole lot of whataboutery, I don't think the OP can be held accountable for any of it. No such thing as cis by the way.

I find it hard to sympathise with anyone who uses the term cis.

OP I think you're being too wordy and it's confusing. There are plenty of women who are going to be thinking that when you say 'sex matters' that you're talking about having sex. The paragraph sounds like you want a good discussion about having sex and that you expect there to be some disagreement (perhaps down to your dodgy kinks) but you hope they will be open and curious towards them.

I agree with being more straightforward ie just saying GC or sex realist - unless that sort of thing gets you banned? Or you're a fan of JKR perhaps.

Having seen some, not all, of the deleted posts, it does seem as if a man wanting to safeguard his daughter from having to undress in front of teenage boys claiming to be girls, attracts a lot of fury from men over keen on the idea. There was a lot of sneering and implications of bad faith (similar to several posts still standing from a different poster).

Advanced search is always useful to check whether these are new to Mumsnet / likely PB posters and MNHQ are evidently very quick to get rid of them judging by their response on here.

My suggestion would be don't have any political ideas in writing at all, and I say this as a fairly politically-minded woman myself. If you've got an extra paragraph to fill, put more hobbies and interests. If I were on the apps, I'd be looking out to avoid any wokiness but I'd also avoid any man saying he'd like to "discuss women's rights" as you have done, I know I'm paraphrasing, but I'd be afraid you'd be a bore and looking to "educate" me.

Green flags for me would be hobbies related to science or animals or even farming as I'd imagine those people are more grounded in reality.

If I saw someone wrote "I love crime thrillers such as Robert Galbraith" I'd be happy because I've read them all and you couldn't be a TRA either, but you might just be an ordinary fan.

Just don't imply you're hoping to lecture your date, every woman hates that. I'm not saying you do want to lecture her, but that's what your current paragraph means

Honestly I find it hard to sympathise with a man annoyed that trans women show up in his dating suggestions when, any bi or lesbian woman can confirm, plenty of cis men show up in your dating suggestions if you are a woman only looking for women. And plenty of cis men have tried to convince gay women that they don't know their own sexual preferences. So if women can't say "I'm not into men" and be left alone, then ya know 🤷

I don't think the concern about women's rights is men's rights to women. Women should be entitled to women only spaces for themselves. Not because men want access to only women.

But yeah dating sites should have an option for dating only cis, just as it does for dating only women and you should be able to report a user for mis identifying their sex and gender.

Yes I found those character assassination of the OP posts very unHinged. What’s going on?

@SingleSexSpacesInSchools I’ve been following your campaign with some skin in the game myself and really really admire your tenacity and hard work. Thank you so much for speaking up so loudly on behalf of all girls in Brighton.

Reading this thread, has made me think how lucky I am, having been married to a lovely woman for thirty five years and all without using a dating app.
Have people stopped socialising, meeting people in real life situations?

Hi OP, you have done sterling work to protect your daughter and force bloody Brighton to start protecting women's and girls rights. Thank you. I think you may have outed yourself as a search for the text you have posted above may be searchable on Hinge. I don't know if you care as a lot of your posts have been very specific. I agree with others that the word 'sex' is ambiguous in your statement. Sadly there is a type of man who performs being a 'feminist' while actually still being a misogynist. He sees women as a 'cause' not as individual people. I'm not saying at all that this is who you are but that's why feminist statements from men sound alarm bells for some women. I don't know the solution to your dilemma. Very few people in my life know my gender critical beliefs and it's not something I feel it's necessary to share. Even my husband, while being largely sympathetic, doesn't understand the depth of the problem if you erase what the word woman means in society.. I think if I were looking for a relationship I wouldn't bring up the issue at all for a while then perhaps mention that you are trying to get your daughter's school to ensure boys can't use the girl's changing rooms because your daughter has been distressed when that happened. This is a Dad defending his daughter, not a wider cultural crusade and may be more palatable to a 'be kind' woman. Remember, a lot of people have swallowed the 'be kind' 'it's the new gay rights' line without really thinking about it. So someone may start from that point and then become very terfy once they realise what the slogans actually mean. It's not intrinsically bad to support 'trans rights'. It just means that you haven't thought very much about what it means for women. Good luck in your quest for a lovely date. I hope it goes well.

Maybe sometimes it’s better to stick to the subject of the post rather than character assassination of the poster.

I mean I recognise the type being described, obviously, but discussing whether OP is or isn’t, it probably isn’t relevant to the post.

Play the ball not the player might be the phrase.

I've followed your threads and I think you've been really tenacious about advocating for girls in your dc's school. I admire that.

I wish you all the best in your dating endeavour so I'm saying this to be helpful - the comment is too much as it will put off "ordinary" women who are sex realist by default but not politically minded. I think that's the silent majority of women, maybe less so in Brighton but certainly in the UK at large. I'm thinking of my mum friends or my lovely SIL.

I've seen suggested on similar threads to have a coded thing like a Robert Galbraith novel on your shelf behind you. That will put off the True Believers but won't put off Ms Ordinary.

This is unless you are specifically looking for someone politically minded who will campaign with you. In which case maybe you'd be better joining a political group to find a partner rather than Hinge.