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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

632 replies

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 10/08/2026 01:05

I only discovered this after having made two reports, and it’s Sunday, so I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow if they are going to follow through.

  • [This paragraph has been removed at the OP's request]

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute and ask why it has to be a thing in a relationship at all but given the case I’m following through it sort of has to be out there!

OP posts:
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Lins77 · 10/08/2026 19:45

Unfortunately trans status is a highly politicised, contentious and sensitive issue, which height isn't.

In an ideal world, people could just say they do or don't want to meet trans people on a dating app and that would be fine and respected. But as it is, that's not the case.

GreyskySexRealistsky · 10/08/2026 19:44

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 19:30

Sex is obviously of secondary importance.

Said no-one ever 😂

IKR - that's hilarious!
"Seeking a 6-foot tall,12-stone brunette - sex irrelevant"

MyAmpleSheep · 10/08/2026 19:43

JennyShaw · 10/08/2026 19:11

What if he doesn't find out until after the first snog?

Depending on when the trans person makes their status known, that trans person could end up with a prison term for sexual assault on the basis of vitiated consent from the OP. It’s quite serious.

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:40

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:38

I think quite a few of the site's users would take issue with the idea that their needs are reflected in the site design. Given that you are thrown off for saying you are heterosexual and only want to meet people of the opposite sex or gay/lesbian and only want to meet people of the same sex there probably is an incentive to not kick up a fuss if you want to carry on with online dating.

That would depend on how many of that demographic use the site. If they are a minority, then they won't influence business decisions.

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:40

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 19:35

Oh come on. You’re really suggesting that for the majority of people the weight or age of a prospective partner is more important than their sex. Really?

Edited

I think that apps would have that feature if it was highly requested by their userbase. For example, Tinder rolling out the height filter for women. That was based on what their female users wanted.

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:38

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:33

Why is it bizarre to say that the sites are designed around the needs and values of the core membership?

I think quite a few of the site's users would take issue with the idea that their needs are reflected in the site design. Given that you are thrown off for saying you are heterosexual and only want to meet people of the opposite sex or gay/lesbian and only want to meet people of the same sex there probably is an incentive to not kick up a fuss if you want to carry on with online dating.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 10/08/2026 19:36

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 19:35

Oh come on. You’re really suggesting that for the majority of people the weight or age of a prospective partner is more important than their sex. Really?

Edited

it's an hilariously terrible argument but as always they do our work for us

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 19:35

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:28

Because they usually toggle filters according to the attitudes of their core membership. It's about what they want from the app. Sex is obviously of secondary importance.

Oh come on. You’re really suggesting that for the majority of people the weight or age of a prospective partner is more important than their sex. Really?

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:33

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:31

What a bizarre statement. Are you bisexual? They're the only people who would be comfortable with both men and women coming up as options on a dating app.

Why is it bizarre to say that the sites are designed around the needs and values of the core membership?

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:32

People spoke poorly of Feeld, but it actually lets you filter by sexuality AND gender. So you could ensure people who ID as "trans women" show up, but people who ID as "women" do.

You are still left in the same position where some TW will ID as women unless the site has a specific rule, though.

Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…
Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:31

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:28

Because they usually toggle filters according to the attitudes of their core membership. It's about what they want from the app. Sex is obviously of secondary importance.

What a bizarre statement. Are you bisexual? They're the only people who would be comfortable with both men and women coming up as options on a dating app.

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 19:30

Sex is obviously of secondary importance.

Said no-one ever 😂

Theeyeballsinthesky · 10/08/2026 19:28

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 19:01

Not online with filters, no

I reminder of the power of filters

Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…
Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:28

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:25

Why have any filters at all then? Someone's sex is a pretty basic category for dating. Why have age categories but not sex categories. You could just reject someone if they look too old or too young for you, no search filter necessary.

Because they usually toggle filters according to the attitudes of their core membership. It's about what they want from the app. Sex is obviously of secondary importance.

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 19:26

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:25

Why have any filters at all then? Someone's sex is a pretty basic category for dating. Why have age categories but not sex categories. You could just reject someone if they look too old or too young for you, no search filter necessary.

Yea. That’s where ‘you can just swipe past them’ falls down. Why eliminate anyone.

Lovelyview · 10/08/2026 19:25

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 18:52

But someone being in your potential matches doesnt mean you have to message them, date them or have sex with them. It just means they turn up in your search when you are looking for available women in the OP's case. It's just a case of scrolling past or swiping left or whatever that app uses.

Why have any filters at all then? Someone's sex is a pretty basic category for dating. Why have age categories but not sex categories. You could just reject someone if they look too old or too young for you, no search filter necessary.

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:13

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 19:12

Not with the collusion of the app though

That is untrue. Few make you show proof of your age/weight/height etc.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 19:12

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:01

Being catfished in one way or the other is a risk on dating apps.

Not with the collusion of the app though

JennyShaw · 10/08/2026 19:11

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 18:57

What if they’re pretending to be a woman and he doesn’t find out until they meet?

bit awks all round, no?

What if he doesn't find out until after the first snog?

Taztoy · 10/08/2026 19:08

What’s the basis of your potential legal action @SingleSexSpacesInSchools ?

I would love to see what you propose be a thing.

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:04

Lins77 · 10/08/2026 19:02

But if someone hasn't said they're a transwoman and it's not obvious from their (perhaps heavily edited) pics, how would he know to scroll past?

He could ask everyone he speaks to early on if it is important to him. It will be a good way to find women who share his views because they definitely won't mind being asked if they are trans.

Lins77 · 10/08/2026 19:03

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 18:59

You can always tell, right?

In person, probably yes. Online, no.

Lins77 · 10/08/2026 19:02

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 18:52

But someone being in your potential matches doesnt mean you have to message them, date them or have sex with them. It just means they turn up in your search when you are looking for available women in the OP's case. It's just a case of scrolling past or swiping left or whatever that app uses.

But if someone hasn't said they're a transwoman and it's not obvious from their (perhaps heavily edited) pics, how would he know to scroll past?

Lexibletheflexible · 10/08/2026 19:01

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 18:57

What if they’re pretending to be a woman and he doesn’t find out until they meet?

bit awks all round, no?

Being catfished in one way or the other is a risk on dating apps.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 10/08/2026 19:01

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 18:59

You can always tell, right?

Not online with filters, no

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