Girls Using Walking Sticks

It's not just a question of them not looking disabled - although I have noticed a lot of these young people using sticks have a normal gait - but for me a large part of it is how the numbers have exploded and the links with certain subcultures.

It would be a bit like if you suddenly saw loads of goths wearing hearing aids. You see one or 2 and you just think it's someone who happens to like dressing in a goth style and happens to need a hearing aid, but when you see 100s of them and you were recall that you never saw any such cases until a year or two ago it makes you think something must be going on to cause this.

Sorry I think maybe you misunderstood me. I'm worried that girls will harm themselves to make themselves actually disabled. I'm sorry to have to be blunt about as it's really upsetting but that's my concern.

Yes true. As I think I said previously, I don't think that's helpful at all.

But if there is a trend, we do need to notice it. We do need to be watchful of vulnerable girls. It may be nothing (I hope it isn't) but given how quickly these things can latch on on social media, we (who are technically not so great like myself) can see it coming. So I'm grateful the OP raised it.

I didn't really want to post my previous post but I sadly don't think it's against any realms of possibility.

This too. 20 years it took me to get a diagnosis. And lots of horribly dismissive doctors appointments during that time.
The difficulty in getting a diagnosis, and difficulty in getting conditions like endometriosis properly understood, really is a feminist issue

But this is intrinsically linked with invisible disabilities because the only evidence people have that these people are making it up is that they "don't look ill/disabled".
And the other limb is a really regressive insistence that things like CFS/EDS/long covid etc are psychological when they are very real physical conditions.
Some of the most fantastic people I know have CFS. They have a real zest for life. Their body just has other ideas.

I have and wear a sunflower lanyard, as I have since well before COVID. I got it after a particularly horrendous experience on the tram where I was having a horrific panic attack and people were shoving past me, and saying horrible stuff like "she must be on drugs" etc. older people get a lot of stock but actually an elderly gentleman was the only person who asked if I was ok and tried to help (and insisted I have his seat) and he even walked me into work to make sure I was ok. Id heard of them being used in airports and thought it would be useful. I've had panic attacks since and since I've worn it people do actually tend to me more understanding and helpful.

I don't look disabled (nor do I look my age which is almost 40 😬) but I can't cope in crowded places after nearly being knocked out and crushed by a crowdsufer in 2007. And public transport is the worst. I need to be able to get off as quickly as I can of if I feel it happening, I do have meds I take but they only really help with palpitations.

And yes I did also have a mask exemption during COVID because everytime I tried to cover my face it resulted in my experiencing flashbacks to the time I died in hospital and had to be resuscitated, it was that bad that during COVID even seeing an ambulance was causing me to reexperince the trauma.

So yes you lot would probably judge me (but good news I work and now have normal blonde hair....)

As others have pointed out, this is very much a feminist issue bc women's health concerns are more likely to be minimized or completely dismissed. Even doctors often see us as hysterical women who, at best, are exaggerating for attention. It takes longer for us to get diagnosed.

It makes it harder for all disabled women, including those of us with visible disabilities. (And many of us have both visible and invisible disabilities.)

I think it may just be less shame/taboo about having a mobility aid. I can imagine a lot of people struggling and just not walking very far etc with some chronic conditions that make walking hard because they didn't want to 'look disabled' but with increasing acceptance, more people feel able to go out and about with mobility aids, which they may not need all the time but can help with flare ups of certain fatigue or joint issues.

Oh god I'm really sorry - I had mixed you up with @RoyalCorgi

I'm not thinking about people faking a disability to get PIP or any of the other points raised. I completely appreciate invisible disabilities.This is not about me judging whether someone has a disability or not.

My concern is vulnerable young girls identifying as disabled when they are not and causing potential significant harm to themselves in the process. Some fantasise about being amputees, blind or deaf. This is very rare but gender dysphoria was also very rare and look where we are now.

We have seen the lengths girls will go to, self harm, anorexia, PBs, mastectomies. I am not fear mongering and I hope this is completely misplaced. Trans is moving on and we need to keep an eye on where it's going.

But that also has to be balanced against the harm done to disabled people when people imply their very real physical battles are a mere invention

I know people whose physical battles have been compounded by friends and family asserting those type of opinions, meaning that alongside very real physical difficulties (and medication side effects that are often unpleasant) they also have to isolate themselves from people they once held close. This includes people whose condition has had them on ventilation in ICU.

Sorry, but can you point out to me where I was "really needlessly rude"?

Are you confusing me with another poster?

What makes you think I begrudge disabled people anything?

I think this is a good point. I would like to be optimistic that it's a harm reduction.

Though I do wonder about the extremes some may go to in identifying with a disability. I do think it's worth keeping an eye on and I'm glad the OP raised it.

The thing is, if appropriating a disability is a trend trend that is happening (which seems to be the case judging by my recent experiences of going to gigs and any other events where there are lots of young people) I do think it risks causing significant problems for genuinely disabled people.

Disability is a very different protected characteristic to eg sexual orientation. Society doesn't really need to do much to accommodate people who are same sex attracted other than eg letting people get married to partners of the same sex. Disability by its nature requires accommodation and change. If lots of additional people are claiming to be disabled and asking for accommodation it is taking away resources for those who genuinely need it. And if lots of people think people are pretending to be disabled, they will be less willing to help. Giving up your seat on the bus/tube for someone who says that they are disabled has always been an occasional inconvenience for able-bodied people that is accepted, but if there are a lots of young women perceived as falsely claiming a disability everyone will become more skeptical and unwilling. I don't think it will normalise disability and cane usage - I think it does quite the opposite.

I don't think it's surprising that there is a link between LGBTQ+++ and this. That, and in particular adoption of a non-binary identity, was the last identity politics trend and this seems to be the next one, so it will attract the same people. It's also not surprising that it seems to be mostly young women as young women do seem particularly susceptible to these kind of identity fads.

Having said this, I don't know how we tackle this given that it's hard to judge at an individual level. I wouldn't advocate questioning people who say they are disabled before giving up your seat of course. But I am nevertheless worried by this trend and hope it will die out quickly.

Fair enough, but the thread imo has turned to judging people on whether they have a disability or not just by looking at them. I don't count myself as disabled, but I certainly have mobility difficulties at times, manageable atm.

I, in my late 60s, use a lovely looking sturdy folding walking stick, almost always in my bag, to show when I need to that I am not as quick as others. Yes, I need it for balance sometimes, for steps without handrails, and confidence. It's also useful in crowded places to stop people barging into me, I'd probably fall.

It started well over a decade ago, when on uni tours I couldn't keep up with the young energetic guides. Using the stick meant they were more aware that their pace might not suit everyone, and got me directed to lifts. I think that's a fair use. I was reluctant to get one, as it wasn't strictly necessary, and the judgement, but I was right to get it, and use it.

Well yeah, I think I'm out of this thread. Apart from the annoyance of being repeatedly tagged by someone I've repeatedly asked not to tag me, it's impossible to have a discussion on the basis of things I didn't say, but someone says I said, and conveniently the posts that would demonstrate I didn't say those things were nuked.

Jesus, if I'd any patience for this sort of carry on I'd be in the SWP.

Your daughter's sound deeply traumatised. Most young people haven't had that experience and it's a bit strange to extrapolate from that to young people as a whole.

Being in a wheelchair is annoying and awkward in my experience but worth it if it gives you some life back when you would otherwise be trapped at home.

Hyperfixating on fictitious illness to the point you’re judging strangers and trying to figure out how genuine their disability is is not healthy. Bottom line.

No one said it isn’t dangerous but the way you are so singularly minded and viewing any disabled people as potential liars doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help disabled people and it doesn’t help victims of fictitious by proxy or even fictitious sufferers themselves.

Again, your absolute focus on this single issue makes me think you would benefit from therapy over this issue.

No, you have concluded these are mental health issues. You cannot and do not know that.
And it's a deeply unpleasant assertion

Oh, are you accusing me of reporting it? On what basis?

Please explain which " vague and energy debilitating conditions" you are referring to?

I don't think I am. There are lots of comments on this thread that implicitly or explicitly stigmatise or minimise certain invisible disabilities