Girls Using Walking Sticks

Oh good grief. Where to even start? 😂😂😂

I suppose I should be thanking you really because that's given me a bloody good laugh, and that's saying something because I'm at a comedy festival this week. Are you seriously attempting to defend your ignorance by saying you get your so-called knowledge from 'specialist professionals' (because we all know how easy they are to pin down for an informative little chat 🙄) and a mobile library? Even though you are literally using the internet to post on MN and could just as easily use it to educate/inform yourself? Because you think knowledge gleaned online is all AI or 'suchlike'? I have no words. 😂

And as for 'What is "pots" if it's not a "condition"?', you are either being disingenuous here or have never taken any books on punctuation out of your trusty mobile library. I think you know perfectly well what I was getting at - given the context of your post I believe you placed that word in quotes because you don't accept that the conditions you refer to are genuine. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I only have your words to go by. shrugs

(Too aggressive for what/whom, btw, just out of interest?)

The first time I saw a mention of POTS I didn't know what it was so I googled it....

I tend to refer to my condition as Myasthenia rather than it's full name (Myasthenia Gravis) just because it's quicker to type. A lot of people with the condition shorten it to MG though to spare typing /saying the whole thing (particularly because its a rather tricky name for a condition that often comes with dysarthria as as symptom). I tend to assume people may not have heard of it before (I wasn't until I was diagnosed) but that I don't need to explain it because a quick Google will provide them with ample information and they are welcome to ask me questions if they want to know more. After all, if I were to talk about it unprompted I would be at risk of being accused, by various people on this thread at least, of making it my whole identity

I'm not being aggressive. I answered your question and expressed an opinion that you sounded lacking in empathy.

You know where my username came from? Defending people being bullied on the relationships board or elsewhere, with aggressive posters showing ..a lack of empathy and kindness.

Having a swear does not make me aggressive or unkind. I can be blunt but there's much worse than that being dished out to disabled people and their loved ones on MN just now.

I think your post was more aggressive in tone than mine but we can agree to disagree. Not here to upset you. Don't know what you mean about transference? That's a psychological term, not applicable here.

Wow more aggression on this thread, maybe the clues are in the handles! "Sod Off back to aibu" appears to be projecting and using transference regarding "empathy". By-the-way (btw) thanks for the definition of P.O.T.S i get exactly what that means when broken down into its components.

What is "pots" if it's not a "condition"? Incidentally i am not falling prey to Artificial Intelligence and suchlike, and being older generation prefer to speak to those "in-the-know" or specialist professionals, not forgetting our fortnightly weekly mobile library. Underthecokesign response appears rather too aggressive, more like Undertheinfluence;

I'm not religious but it would do some people good to remember the phrase 'there but for the grace of god, go I."

My loved one was fine five years ago. Disability and chronic illness can happen to anyone.

It's never been easier to look things up if you're genuinely interested in finding out about something. Although, given how you've placed the word conditions in quotes, I suspect you're only here to put the boot in.

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome

It's a bit of a mouthful so people.... everyday people not just doctors...used POTS. You know, like MS gets abbreviated or IBS or COPD.

I doubt spelling it out will make you any more empathetic though. 🙄

What the eff is pots? This business of non-medical people using abbreviations for "conditions" is another reason the general public appear not to care... Medical people mostly understand each other and abbreviate in hand overs and emergencies. If you want non-meds to show consideration and understanding do so yourselves and Spell it out so that we all do!

Sadly, even though I don't do either of those things people stare at me a lot. I actually got denied service in a co-op once because of how I looked with my walking aid. I had a meal deal with a CBD drink, and I asked the woman behind the counter for a disposable vape. She then wanted to ID me (I'm in my mid 30s) and I didn't have any ID so I said, no problem just the food please. She then wanted to ID me for the CBD drink. I expressed I was skeptical about this. She said 'I'd ID anyone, even if they have a walking stick'. I left without buying anything and was so distressed I had my boyfriend phone the shop. He spoke to the manager, who spoke to the employee. She admitted she had judged me and offer to apologies to me in person. I said it was ok and didn't take it any further. (I googled it co-op had no policy about age restrictions on CBD drinks).

I am F in my mid 30s. In 2018 I started to experience really bad pain in my abdomen, I eventually got a referral for minor investigative surgery, in march 2020. So that didn't happen. For about 5 years I used to get these issues with my back once or twice a year, where it would tighten up and I couldn't move. Stretching and rest would fix it, it would normally be after a lot of exercise. One day in 2020 walking around the house the pain came on, and stretching and rest barely made it better. One year later I can barely walk, and I've tried everything. I get by by not leaving the house much, no longer going on dog walks and resting a lot when I do walk. Two years later I'm on holiday, I have struggled to walk the entire time. I went for a massage thinking it would help, and with in minute of leaving, I can barely walk again. I was passing a stall that sold walking sticks and though 'f**k it' and got one.

Ever since I have used walking sticks and am currently using a walking frame. I can't speak for others but I don't feel trendy. People stare at me, because I go out and do things lots of people with walking frames don't do, like I went to central London. Sometimes public transport is a nightmare, and I can walk unaided for about 60 seconds, so if lifts are broken I have to carry my walking frame. I used to like going to clubs but I can't anymore. I have to check every venue I go to first and I used to be spontaneous. I lost my body as well, I have gained a lot of weight due to the inactivity, I do use an exercise bike (it helps that I can sit down) but I have to pace myself with it. I also experience pain in my hands, they used to sting occasionally but one day in 2020 I woke up with them stinging and they never stopped.

I now got to the open university, where lots of young people who are disabled study. What I have found is we all experience huge loss of what we expected for our lives. I was a youth worker with children effected by violence and I had to quit because I could not longer travel there on public transport and carry all the equipment I needed, the venue was not accessible and some days I was in to much pain to think, meaning I wasn't reliable.

I hope this info helps give an insight into what young (ish) people with mobility aids are going through.

Absolutely. I can’t believe there are posts on this thread which not only discredit and scorn women for their outward appearance but also their disabilities.

Can't be said enough and loud enough!!
👏👏👏

Yep, I know a couple of performative carnivores - OMG when there is a BBQ they go into overdrive.

The point is a person can be performative about anything, and when taken too far make it there whole personality.

Absolutely none of the vegans I've ever known were like this in the slightest. They just ate lunch.

Performative carnivores, on the other hand...

Dye your hair WHATEVER FUCKING COLOUR YOU WANT.

Say & do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT.

Tell judgmental arseholes who expect you to conform to their narrow view of life TO FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Fixed it 👌

In the same way that people who are e.g. vegans or marathon runners make it their whole personality, i.e. nothing else to talk about, bang on about it for hours to anyone who will listen, etc.

How would one even "make their disability their whole personality?"
It reads "be disabled, but don't talk about it too much, or make it too visible.
Blend into the background, don't be having your hair too brightly coloured otherwise it's very "look at me"."
It's a round about, outdated view that says people to hide away if they're disabled, or not talk about it, or just not be "in people's faces" with it. 😓😡

There are lots of straw man arguments on this thread. Many of the ideas being positioned as opposing arguments can be true at the same time - and acknowledging this does not need to undermine the other.

It is a good thing for those with disabilities to access and use aids that support them and for stigma / concern around doing so to decline. It is not a good thing if/when people without disabilities cos play having disabilities because this serves a function unrelated to having a disability. It is also not a good thing for people failing to have their condition diagnosed and, as a result, failing to access needed treatment/ support.

I am without doubt that there is a phenomenon whereby some young people desire elements of disability and/or incorrectly self- diagnose disabling conditions. This is dysfunctional behaviour and it is important to seek to understand what underpins it. My go-to position is there is likely some unmet need that they don’t properly understand / recognise. For some, a history of abuse or neglect might account for it. For others, a mental health condition (likely a personality disorder) might account. Some may be struggling with their identity, sense of self, social lives, unemployment….the list goes on.

Life is tough for lots of people and many develop dysfunctional behaviour in response. Within this, there is a point about resilience and expectation about what counts as adversity.

Possibly one boring factor is that the NHS is harder to access, so people struggling to walk may just start using sticks without seeing a physio.

In my experience, physios are actually quite cautious about recommending them — it's not simply “if it helps, use one”, but whether it's helpful long-term, which needs proper assessment.

I'm recovering from ankle surgery for example and have actually been advised not to use one, as appropriate weight-bearing is important for recovery and aids can alter your gait or lead to over-reliance. Same as when I lost half my balance function.

R.e. "shame factor" I would say it's for me far harder socially once I waa told to stop using crutches and had an invisible condition. All sorts of stuff: getting a seat on the bus, people expecting you to side step out their way, having to sit down in random locations...my favourite being a pile of compost outside Aldi!w

Absolute spoofer. She’s ‘queer’ too, despite having a boyfriend. 🙄

I don't dye my hair crazy colours but comments like that make me want to.

One thing I have found since finally finding the courage to use a wheelchair or stick so I can live life more fully is that I now no longer care if people judge me or stare at me... So I can see why more disabled people choose to do things like dye their hair. When you lose control over your body and how others perceive you it's nice to exert that control in other ways.

I don't make my disability my whole personality, but it is a very dominant force in my life as can affect everything from movement to speaking and swallowing and vision and even breathing. So it's impossible for me to hide it away or pretend it is a minor inconvenience to suit the sensitivities of others. It's reshaped my life, stolen so many much loved hobbies, and forced me to change career direction (and I am one of the lucky ones as I am least able to work full time from home and earn good money doing so)

Just a couple of tips:
Don't die your hair a very bright 'zany' colour
Don't make your disabilities into your whole personality.

Then no-one will think twice about you having a stick.

I absolutely agree that trends are worth commenting on and examining.

Im not suggesting any thought policing.

I am merely asking for a bit of consideration for disabled people in how those conversations take place though as we can be directly impacted in a negative way by discussions such as this. Especially when some pp upthread seem determined to suggest that people are managing to self ID into getting benefits (ha, as if!) or tar all invisible illnesses/ people that self ID as having one with the same brush and suggest that we're basically all malingering, and that there's not enough evidence that rest will help (so we should what? All jump up and go for a run? I'm not sure what's being suggested tbh but none of it sounds positive and like we're being told we're 'doing disability wrong').

Being able bodied is temporary. Unless we drop dead relatively young, we will all be disabled in the end. Something worth considering. Disability isn't something that just happens to other (defective) people.

I think the research into GET/muscle fibre changes/2 day CPET testing was by Prof Todd Davenport.

I really wouldn't bank on that happening tbh. A lot of people have little consideration for anyone else never mind anyone with a disability. There are sunflower lanyards for invisible disabilities anyway.