So what are your silver linings in the gender wars?

Awwww!

They made me realize that to hate the opposite sex is to hate your own sex. Men and women are two sides of the same coin.

I do imagine that when I'm not looking the book opens and lots of little tiny versions of us come out and sit on the shelf just nattering.

Someone is whinging about the fact that I don't dust often enough, someone else is not too quietly judging my book choices whilst we all break bits off what is a gigantic tea cake. Bit like bagpuss and toy story combined.

A silver lining for me has also been the positive outcomes of the strange, carefully worded conversations which reveal women who also believe that women should have rights. Those kindred spirits who say 'can you believe....!'

I also contributed and although I'm under no illusions as to my poetry prowess, it does give me a wee thrill when I look at the actual, physical copy of the book on my shelf - it's like a small embodiment of this board.

Same

I appear to be more able to interpret bs that people seem to grumble about but accept - it's honed my ability to compose a good letter of complaint and link to all sorts of laws!

I think getting on with life can deaden you a bit and you lose touch with the youthful, vigorous beliefs you once had. I know I did. But this came along and now the familiar fire that I thought I had lost is still there. It has put me back in touch with the young woman who used to bristle at being called a feminazi but it didn't change a single thing and I'm glad she's back.

Ah, thanks for the kind words. ☺️ We both still do our part in pushing back against gender ideology, and it's quite important to have that shared point of view in our relationship.

😍 I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to top that!

That's just reminded of when Babdoc had to go on a thread to state that GL was not the father of her child!

😂

MN! Some wonderful voices on here, all the superlatives.

I have learned, no longer automatically Labour good/Tories bad. The Guardian can fuck right off. Never thought I'd have time for the DM. Strange days. And I've poemed.

• Showed me I'm not alone in my beliefs even though my workplace is captured hard
• Gave me some excellent data and facts to support my perspectives (Thanks Emma Hilton)
• Gave me some great one-liners to avoid ridiculous debates
• Introduced me to Aja who I have a massive crush on now despite being straight
• Weirdly people like Graham L, James Dreyfus, Ricky Gervais, Mr Menno etc. who've been in the war from the start restored my faith in some men

Less pressure to dress “feminine”.

Putting myself first for once. If anyone has a meltdown over that I'll call them a waaaahmbulance. No fucks left to give.

The realisation I can have a spectrum of opinions and still be a good person. I always identified as a "lefty" and took great pride in that, thinking you had to be a lefty to be a good person, but the GC situation obviously meant I wasn't allowed to identify as a lefty anymore. So I don't pigeon hole myself anymore. I have a variety of opinions depending on the context and think about things more carefully now, independently, rather than ignorantly following a superficial belief system.

How exciting. Would it be fair to describe KS as ' austerely beautiful ' ?

I've always wanted to write that phrase down!

Using they/them pronouns more as a routine thing for people I don't know well, which to me is a positive, compared to the daftness of giving your preferred pronouns.

Oh, wow, that is so lovely! 😍

Being part of the ReSisters groups and subsequently meeting my wife! Cheers, TRAs.

It's made me realise how much of a quiet feminist my own (sadly long deceased) mother was in the toys/ clothes and advice she gave me. I wish I had realised sooner and been able to thank her.

It's given me the confidence to challenge my DH and DSs in my own, heavily male-dominated, family!

Most of what's been said already. But for me, specifically:

1. Meeting lovely new feminist women who are funny and clever and committed to this cause
2. Revival of the women's movement and the general communitarian spirit it's engendered (related to point 1)
3. Feeling of pride in being part of Terf Island
4. Ditching the Guardian for the Times and discovering a whole bunch of really good writers
5. Thinking more critically about some of the crap that left-wing thinkers write, and being able to recognise it as crap - conversely, reading some more right-wing thinkers and realising they're not all evil and stupid
6. This is a bit double-edged, but finding that this is an issue that enables you to differentiate people who are genuinely good from those that just follow the crowd. Who'd have thought that of all the people working in entertainment who might have stood up for women's rights, the one person to do so would be the co-writer of Father Ted? Not me. But it has also made me realise that people I used to admire are absolute cowards, which is sad.
7. The absolute feeling of pleasure that comes from knowing, for once in your life, that you are on the right side of history: that this is an entirely righteous cause, and I am lucky to be a part of it. I guess this is how the suffragettes felt, and the anti-apartheid activists and the civil rights activists in the 1960s. I have never had a moment's doubt that we are fighting for what is good and true and that future generations will thank us.

That reminds me I had a dream about Graham Linehan recently. Also not a sex dream.

But he gave me a big hug which was rather lovely.

😂

I had a dream about JK Rowling last night.

It wasn't a sex dream but we were in the same room and I was totally awestruck but I plucked up the courage to say hello and tell her how much I admire her, and she was totally lovely.