The dreaded issue arose with my son…

I really feel you OP and others with young children now. Mine were already teenagers when schools started pushing this new religion/ideology so it was much easier to have the conversations, it is complicated. As a PP said on the first page it is in a small way comparable with continuing to believe in Catholic Christianity after Henry the 8th declared the Church of England was the new way. Obviously we don’t fear being tortured and executed but with my teenagers the instinctively understood that they must not let anyone know what they believe about sex and gender because of the social, academic and employment consequences. The same as their dad and I do at work. We can’t afford to lose our jobs. We all tread a fine line of staying true to our own beliefs/opinions by not participating in the rituals of the new religion whilst also trying to keep quiet about those beliefs.

I think this is much easier than a child from an atheist family at a C of E primary because if a child or parent says I don’t believe in Christianity it wouldn’t be considered much of an issue really, as a society we pretty comfortable about the old religions all rubbing along with each other and those who don’t have a religion at all. Christians, Hindus etc don’t think that people who don’t share their beliefs are snuffing out their very existence by that lack of belief.

Zeibesaffron said:
'I remember when one of mine came home and said they had been discussing the term LGBTQIA plus at school and I learnt what the term intersex meant! I just don’t see it as a drama!'

I think this is a good example of the issue with this ideology using the term 'intersex' to try to obfuscate the binary of the sexes.

I think that a lot of people understand that some of the older terms for people with specific disabilities are in fact very insulting and shouldn't be used now. A good example would be older words used for people with Down's Syndrome or for people with Cerebal Palsey.

This movement (gender ideology) has now taken people with DSD's and resurrected the older term 'intersex' which can be incredibly insulting.

So 'no drama' just regression in the public's understanding about a group of people which has been done to help an ideological position.

Trans ideology tells our boys to cut their balls off to become girls but my theatrical hair cut is ‘toxic manipulation’?

Hair regrows but genitals don’t, Sooz.

Waves at Willy!

Sadly, IW has turned comments off so I cannot respond directly.

Unlike India I don’t need long hair to help me look female 🙀

I have had many, many conversations with my DH over this which I have allowed to be overheard by my children since they were about 8. I am careful to always be respectful and concerned about people with gender dysphoria. That way they can pick up what they need as and when they are ready.

Directly to them I’ve said that some people believe you can change sex or become a unicorn, some people believe in Jesus and some people believe their vaccine causes 5G signals to make them eat vegan and vote for chemtrails. Be respectful to everyone but always question the narrative.

I’ve also said repeatedly that they can cut or grow their hair any which way they want, wear whatever clothes they like, play with whatever toys they like and listen to whatever music they like (as long as I amn’t trapped in a car with it too) And none of that has any bearing on their sex.

Regarding your children being told what " intersex" means, i suspect they have been ill informed if it is part of the queering programme they have been exposed to.

Intersex does not mean neither one sex or the other, or both sexes at the same time. Intersex is a disorder of sexual development - but in the vast majority of cases the sex of the child is still clear and functional.

I'd still seek an appointment with the head. Children talk about all sorts of stuff that they've heard adults talking about, or that they've picked up ofTV or the internet. I'd want to be clear what the school's approach is.

I think you need to ask where the older children are getting this from. Is it from lessons? If so,it's still worrying.

The problem with some of what you suggest is that you have to be honest with the child that boys cannot really change into girls. If you are telling them to " be kind" by pretending or going along with the pronouns and so on, is that you are setting up dissonance in your child, and expecting thenm to hold two contradictory beliefe together at the same time. A child is not equipped to do this - without negative consequence for their own grasp of reality, and for their own rights to truth and honesty.

Yep. No so glamorous-sounding but the truth.

I’d definitely make an appointment to go in and chat to the school about what they teach them in PSHE/RSE about gender stuff. Look at the material and lesson plans.

My DD is secondary school now but I discussed this in her primary school and at secondary school, and pushed back on some of the content. She is in the ‘infamous’ school now which went Twitter viral last term with ‘cat gender’ pupil! My DD knows it’s all a load of bollocks. I’m always wearing my woman adult human female T-shirts. Just be very open and honest with your son. Biological and scientific facts - no hate - but you don’t have to agree with people’s delusions.

@SayingwhatIreallythink I don’t think its worrying -I knew no transgender people at that time (I am 49) possibly because people were not able to talk about it! I knew a number of mum’s friends who were in same sex relationships but this was late70’s and early 80’s but that was just not talked about.

I just believe that as people can be more open and be who they want to be (thank goodness) - we shouldn’t be frightened of this and if a child asks we respond in a way that’s appropriate. God only knows I have got it wrong when the kids have asked something left field - but I’d rather have the conversation and often I have learnt too! I remember when one of mine came home and said they had been discussing the term LGBTQIA plus at school and I learnt what the term intersex meant! I just don’t see it as a drama!

Both my kids have both grown up to be supportive, kind and inclusive young people. Of which I am very proud.

Point out to your son that Boris Johnson is a lot older than him and even got to be prime minister but is still really stupid?

Like with religion what I found really helpful is to package up the set of beliefs so they can recognise them and know they're optional - this Christianity, this is transgenderism, this is what I think and why, you listen carefully to what people tell you and decide what you think.
Thanks to the amount of Christianity slipped in casually at primary school via RS lessons as well as assemblies we had to do that one at 4, so teacher is always right ship had long sailed by 9. But yes school shouldn't be pushing one side of a contentious political issue and that needs addressing with them.

The OP's son is nine, I wouldn't say that to a four year old!

She could also use the Santa analogy.

Santa isn't real but we pretend he is so as not to upset the little children.

Margot, you must know some small children with a very impressive attention span! That would have taken about a week to say to mine (who would have wandered off to make a Lego bridge over the cat after the first sentence).

@JoyceBarry

I think I would go down the "everyone is pretending in order to be kind" route with your son.

Something like this:

"Henry, I wanted to talk some more about the conversation we had the other day, when you said that a boy can become a girl if he has his testicles removed. This isn't true. If a boy has his penis and testicles removed, they can have surgery to make their genitals look more like a vulva on the outside, but on the inside they are still male. A girl isn't a boy without a penis and testicles. A girl has a uterus and ovaries inside her, when she reaches puberty she will start to release eggs each month to try and make a baby, and if she doesn't get pregnant she will then have a period. If she does get pregnant she will grow a baby inside her. Boys and men cannot and will never be able to do any of these things no matter what changes they make to their body, because humans can't change sex. And this is what sex means, it means whether you produce the sperm or the egg to make a baby. That's the difference between men and women. Now I know a lot of people say that a boy can become a girl and vice versa, that someone might be born with the brain of a girl in the body of a boy and decide to transition so that their body matches their brain. This is wrong. There is no such thing as a girl brain or a boy brain, and even if there were, it still would not be possible to change the sex of the body. Some people might actually believe that humans can change sex, but they are wrong. A much bigger number of people are pretending that it is possible for humans to change sex because they know that some people get very upset when you say it isn't possible, and it's not nice to deliberately upset people, so they pretend. I don't think it's nice to deliberately upset people either, and if you know a trans person you shouldn't go round pointing out the fact that they haven't changed sex or using their old name and pronouns if they don't want you to. But at the same time I disagree with people, particularly teachers, pretending that humans can change sex when they can't. So on this subject, and this subject alone, feel free to ignore what your teachers are telling you, and if you have any questions, come and ask me."

There’s some great advice and sensible comments on this thread.
I would also be asking the school what they are teaching them.
also, what the heck is going on in Scottish schools?

Stating that some people want to live in a different way is fine and encompasses lots of different lifestyle choices. Giving the opinion ,as a fact, that people change sex isn't. No one changes sex and at 9 a child cannot comprehend the details and results of modifying the body if that is what they are being told.

@MargotBamborough but the OP stated she doesn’t know whether this was a taught lesson or the child heard it from a friend. If it was the teacher lets see what was actually said!

@JoyceBarry it doesn’t matter how old they are - the discussion has been had at school (not necessarily by the teacher if I understand this right but maybe by the child’s friends?) you can’t take that conversation back can you?? So you need to talk about it!!

There are many people in our society that are able to live in a way that they choose so just because you may not agree does not mean to say that a 9 year old cannot hear about it in an age appropriate way. I outlined my daughters friends as one has had feelings of wanting to be transgender since 11/12 I am highlighting that the 9yo will probably come across a wide range of you g people at clubs or secondary school very soon and an open conversation is best. I just don’t see why this is such a big deal!!

If the child has heard it is class by the teacher then have a chat with them and see what was actually said. It maybe very different from what was heard.