The dreaded issue arose with my son…

It is a fact that there are people out there who call themselves trans, form trans communities, tick trans boxes on forms etc

You might disagree with them but they exist

Eg you might be a Christian who believes marriage is truly only between a man and a woman in the eyes of God. But gay marriage exists. You could tell your children that it was something that existed even if you disagreed with the fundamental concept

Perhaps you didn't read the OP's posts?

Firstly, can you please explain to us all who obviously don't 'get it', how a person can change sex except as a legal fiction? Why should any person celebrate a child coming home and telling their mother that a male can have their testes removed and change sex to become a female?

Do you think it is a good thing to lie to children? Do you think it is a good thing to teach falsehoods such as this to children?

There is a huge difference between teaching a scientifically provable fact and teaching a belief as fact without prefacing it with 'this is a belief that some people believe but it is not provable with science'.

Please clarify whether you believe children should be taught that they can 'change sex' when this is scientifically untrue and what has been taught has not been clearly stated as 'this is a legal change only'?

If thats what youve told your 6 year old you have lied to them and should do better.

You're underestimating your child. My 6yo could understand this:

In the past people were expected to stay as girls and boys and people thought girls and boys were capable of different things
Now we think girls and boys can do the same - women can do jobs and men can care for children etc
Some people say they feel they would be comfortable living as a man even if they were born as a woman and it doesn't matter what their body looks like, it's about how they feel inside
Other people think if you were born a boy or girl, that is something you can't change even if you want to change your name or how you dress etc
Grown ups disagree about this and some people want to change the rules about it, but others don't
When grown ups disagree, they both explain what they think and see if they can persuade each other

You don't need to go on about truth and untruth.

Yes, i've read the tread. I've had children, now a granddaughter, and i've been a teacher - as well as a counsellor. It is important how we speak with children about such things. We need to be honest and age appropriate. No pushing of ideologies.

Boys and girls IS referring to sex. He was told that boys can CHANGE to girls.

They cannot. They can modify their clothes, pronouns and external attributes, but they cannot change into girls, and again, you know that.

At their age they lack the understanding of the difference between sex and gender.

Lol. Thats not an age thing. My 7 year old understands the difference, a huge number of adults appear to not understand. Although many are pretending not to understand so that they can pretend that boys can become girls....

'Trans' is not an absolute fact at all. 'Identifying as trans' is a device that some people use to frame their own feelings about themselves. That is the fact. 'Trans' is a framing device. Try explaining that to a child.

If you read the thread, this was a conversation between friends at school. Nothing was “taught”.

Do you have children yourself?

You are suggesting discussions which are not age appropriate, or accessible, for a 10 year old. also, it is not as simple as you suggest. To discuss the concept of 'changing gender' - you'd have to explain what 'gender' is in the first place ( thus reinforcing gender stereotypes) and what sex is.

You'd also have to explain that boys and girls can like and enjoy all sorts of things and that doesn't mean they've changed gender or sex, either.

All just so unnecessary.........

If you read OP’s original post, there is no mention of “sex”. The concept her son brought up was that boys can choose to be girl and vice versa.

I doubt anyone said “you can change your sex” to OP’s son. At their age they lack the understanding of the difference between sex and gender. So clearly the discussion was around the fact that some men choose to live as women and vice versa, but overly simplified based on their age.

My point is that people DO choose to live as a different gender, and they can legally identify as the new gender. So it should not be a “dreaded” topic. If anything, it’s a chance to discuss the topic further, and ensure a full, age appropriate, understanding.

I know of only 3 trans people in my distant family/friendship/colleague circle. This is a tiny %, and is representative of the overall trans landscape

In our immediate circle of friends there are now five teenage/early twenties daughters who have transitioned -- as in, taking testosterone and in the cases of the older girls, having mastectomies. It really does cluster, both geographically (which suggests some social influence) and in neurodiverse kids (our friends are a geeky bunch). Medically unnecessary life-altering surgery and hormone treatment does bother me. Why wouldn't it?

No, OP’s “dreaded” moment is that someone (she wasn’t sure who at the time of writing - friend or teacher or someone else) had just mentioned the notion of sex change.

Not mentioned, taught as fact. And as you know, nobody can change sex.

Nobody here is bothered name calling and accusations. It is meaningless. the more it is repeated, the les power it has.

I think you misunderstand. The mother in question has a child who has had it suggested that boys can become girls and vice versa. This is not true. It is an untruth and a confusion for the child.

Children are not capable of adult thought processes - and even if an adult manages to hold to such levels of cognitive dissonance in pursuit of conformity with an ideology ( a constructed idea) - it is not desirable to expect a child also to do so.

This would be to encourage them to be utruthful and not to trust their own instincts. It also confusing when an adult who is supposed to be responsibile repeats and reinforces this untruth.

This is what the mother in question now has to deal with. How to talk in an age appropriate way with a child that has been given false information - which responsible adults may also be enforcing or encouraging too.

Apologies @fearfuloffluff quoted wrong post!

How do you think we did it? How would you approach it, if you were trying to foster a basic understanding of the concept?

We mentioned that some people, as they get older, realise that they aren’t happy being a boy/girl, and they choose to change. But that most people are happy, and they stay a boy/girl.

Tell you haven't read the OP without telling me you haven't read the OP.

Being mortified that someone mentioned the topic of transgender to your children is transphobic in my opinion.

Except that isn't what the OP said, or what's being discussed here.

Try reading the thread and it's all explained.

I don't get the agonising, tell him that some people think they would be happier living as the other sex, so they wear different clothes and haircuts etc. But that adults disagree about whether they should be seen as entirely that different sex so allowed to go into changing rooms, recorded as that sex on passport etc.

It's a good opportunity to talk about law and parliament and politics too.

Some people are trans (they live that way, see themselves that way etc) - that's an absolute fact and your child will encounter them. You might not believe that they can change biological sex, you can discuss that too and say people have different opinions about it and it's a tricky subject. Reiterating that everyone should always be treated with respect and people have different views.

I think it's a bit like how I don't believe in Islam, but I know Muslims exist, my children mix with them and I want my child to show them respect. As to how the law should approach things like sharia law, honour killings, FGM etc - that's something political that can be discussed with acknowledgment of different viewpoints.

Being mortified that someone mentioned the topic of transgender to your children is transphobic in my opinion.

From what OP said, it’s not like someone came to school and asked her child “do you want to stay a boy or become a girl, here’s how if you want to change, it’s totally possible”

No, OP’s “dreaded” moment is that someone (she wasn’t sure who at the time of writing - friend or teacher or someone else) had just mentioned the notion of sex change.

To my earlier point, it is legal to change your gender. So to be alarmed by the sheer mention of this, is transphobic.

But it doesn't happen, does it? Nobody changes SEX. You know this. You know transwomen are still male.

Lying does not make people more understanding of the topic. Biological reality is not transphobia.

You know all this.

You're not sure why its a big deal that young children are being taught in school that boys can actually turn into girls and its up to them to check?

Do you want to think about that a bit more? Maybe think why schools teaching lies as fact might not be ok?