The dreaded issue arose with my son…

You don’t have to be an expert to give advice or participate in these forums, evidenced by many of the comments. You asked me what I think it is to “live as a man”, and I shared my thoughts. But, as said a first person account (or several) would of course be more accurate - because I’m not trans.

Despite denials, there is a transphobic undercurrent in this thread. If people cannot accept the difference between gender/sex as literally defined, then this discussion is fruitless.

Continue in your echo chamber 😊

We recently had a male (with just altered hair and skirt - is that what you mean by gender?) proud to be walking through teen girls changing rooms

A parent on here raised it on here as their Dc did not have the power to say anything

It was picked up by the press and thankfully safeguarding was put in place

I don’t know where you are but we cannot check who has GRC or not. Males who haven’t agonised over the big changes you list or been through checks can enter female spaces and do

'they’d look like a woman (if they were born a man'] - they don't though. So this is lying to a child, and encouraging them to mistrust the very deeply ingrained ability to differentiate between the sexes.

I think most here are more than aware of the reasons and motives for transition. We've been researching, meeting, listening, learning about this for years.

The issue we have is the impact of this concept on the rest of society - and particularly on women and and girls, and on children more generally. This is not a nice, fluffy kind movement. It is potentially deeply damaging and most often rooted in mental health struggles or in struggles with life generally. It requires'safe spaces' and continual validation. It is not secure in itself. It requires everyone to conform to its edicts. It is inherently fragile. And very authoritarian.

For some ( an increasing number) it is about sexual fetish. And that is a major problem for women and girls. This is an ideology with radical and transgressive intent.

You say that Uncle Julian would like us to refer to him as Auntie Julia and pretend he is a woman from now on.

The fact that we have now lost the ability to keep male people (any male people) out of women's spaces, for a start.

Please give the definitions. Really, you continue to be very vague about this. Why?

You have been advising people on how transphobic the UK is and this is a discussion thread on how to discuss gender identity with children. If you actually cannot put these things into words on this thread, why do you expect any parent to be able discuss these issues with children appropriately?

People's biology remains with them through life. Chromosomes don't change, bodies revert if you stop hormone treatment.

By law, some people transition to be legally considered a different sex to the one they were born as.

So I believe people can change sex legally and socially, but not biologically. Other people believe biology is irrelevant, I'm not one of them.

If you teach your child people stay the same sex throughout life then Uncle Julian becomes Auntie Julia, what are you going to say? That's wrong and a lie and don't talk to that person?

But the gender recognition act uses them interchangeably.

And the reason it does so is because gender is not an actual real thing that people have, and so allowing people to legally change this entirely imaginary thing that nobody actually has would have no actual consequences, so what the legislation does is allow people to change their legal SEX (which is obviously nonsensical because nobody can change their actual sex) but they have called it gender in the hope that everyone just nods and says "that makes sense" because they're too embarrassed to admit that it doesn't make any sense to them whatsoever.

By the way I don’t know why but the reply functionality isn’t working for me…

What particular safeguarding issues are you concerned about? Can you give examples that have actually materialised?

There is no 'normal' understandings of those words though.

So, please. Be very clear about this thing that you are advising others to tell there children.

Be very clear what it means to live as a man or a woman. If you cannot be clear, why are you discussing this with authority to a child or advising others to do this?

As far as body modifications, do you believe that a male person who has lost their penis and testicles due to injury or disease, who has a name that is considered feminine who wears unisex clothes is 'living as a woman'? No? Just pronouns? Just some words that they say such as 'I am a woman'? Is that it?

You telling us to 'do our own research' is somehow missing the point that you are posting on the feminism board that is labelled 'sex and gender discussions' and many of us have read the research over many years. You on the other hand, seem to have not really thought this through and believe that telling a child that they can 'live as a man/woman' is acceptable.

Nobody should be encouraging children to think about gender full stop, unless they can actually explain what gender is and why anyone should care.

Gender and sex have different definitions therefore I don’t use them interchangeably.

No-one is suggesting it’s good to encourage a child to think they should change their gender.

Changing your legal gender means changing your legal sex.

We know this because the gender recognition act uses the words "male" and "female".

It can't mean anything else because gender isn't real.

I have not once in this thread stated someone can change their sex legally. Read more carefully.

What I did say:

”OP, you are entirely right in that you cannot change biological sex. That means that women who transition to trans men won’t produce sperm. Naturally, trans women don’t have wombs. etc.

What is possible, is that people choose to live as a different gender and they can legally change their gender. So they’d look like a woman (if they were born a man) and legally speaking they’d be a woman. However, very few people feel so sad/uncomfortable the way they are so this is very rare. Changing is very difficult, takes time and people have to be sure before they change.

This is the type of thing you can explain to your son.”

It is not healthy in the slightest to encourage children to believe they are a boy if they are a girl and vice versa.

I am not catholic. And while I would teach my child that people who are part of the Catholic Church will call a priest 'father', I would also teach my child that that priest is not their father.

Is your position here that you would refer to members of the Catholic Church using the titles they use for themselves if, and only if, the Catholic Church recognises the existence, identity and rights of trans people?

Because if that's the deal I think it would be entirely legitimate to say I will refer to trans people as being the gender they identify with if, and only if, the trans rights lobby recognises the existence, identity and rights of female people, including to have a word for themselves and some since sex spaces and sports which all male people agree to respect and not take for themselves, regardless of how they identify.

I’m not into stereotypes. My son has long hair (his choice), my daughter wears mostly her brother’s handoffs because it’s cheaper and I find trousers more suitable for play than skirts/dresses.

That said, the whole trans topic is very complicated and sensitive. I’m not trans. I don’t know how it would feel to want to live as a man as opposed to a woman. I don’t know if I feel particularly “womanly”.

But I appreciate that this is how some people feel, and from my conversations with them and observations of them, would say that the things I’ve mentioned are what overall build gender identity (plus in some cases hormone treatments and or surgical modifications). People should do their own research into why people transition and what gender means to them if they want to learn more.

Re. Gender and sex definitions - I have the normal understandings of each term and use them accordingly.

That is not what I meant and you must surely know that.

Not everyone belives in gender identity and it is disrespectful to expect them to go along with the use of pronouns and the suggestion that 'he' is really a 'she'.

Especially children. That is not teaching them to respect other people - but to go along with falsehoods.

"I’ve explained a couple of times how gender and sex and can be discussed with a child in the context of transgender people."

On this thread? You have repeatedly stated that people can legally change sex. But I have yet your explanations on how gender and sex can be discussed in the context of transgender people in any way that makes sense. Yes. Trans people exist. Sure. But you just keep doubling down on 'they live as the gender they wish to'.

Seriously. Apart from pronouns, what do you mean other than someone who fully subscribes to gendered stereotypes and insists that others comply to a belief system.

I do hope I'm not banned for this...

Do you believe that whether or not people can change sex is a matter of opinion?