The dreaded issue arose with my son…

Sorry I meant Dd has 3 people at school - not DH!

Why is this a dreaded conversation?

Just be honest - my DH has 2 friends and an acquaintance who are transgender (my DD is 17). They are all in the same year at school and the friend who is 18 has been referred to the gender clinic. The 2 x 17 year olds have not! I am not sure why this is all a big deal as there are many young people certainly in secondary school who use non traditional pronouns and identify in a way most comfortable to them - it means you as a parent needs to be open and honest in a way a 9 year old will understand.

Make sure to point out that we take out the testicles of male dogs and cats all the time. No-one thinks it makes them female cats.

Good luck OP. I am sure though this is not the first time or the last time you have had to correct something taught at school+. But it is perhaps the most unexpected and most extraordinary one.

(+I remember having to correct the misinformation from a teacher that killer whales and seals lived in harmony in the Antarctic. Don’t look it up if you love seals!!!)

Is this from the school or another child?

@HeadAgainstWall0923

I've had some exploratory conversations with my 9yo. We agree that clothes/toys/activities aren't for boys or girls, that they are just clothes..... and that anyone can wear whatever they want as long as it's appropriate to the situation.

I've explained that some people feel like they don't fit in the stereotypes, that they feel like even though they are biologically female they would prefer to be male.

We've discussed how those females can wear masculine clothing, change their name, do jobs and activities more commonly associated with being a boy, but that ultimately they are and will always be female. Even if they take medicine to change their hormone levels and which body parts get hairy or grow during puberty, or if they have surgery, it's just surface level. Their insides are and will always be female.

I try to keep the conversation age appropriate and positive and make sure I let her know we can talk about it whenever she wants and she can say anything to me.

It does feel like a bit of a minefield though.

...but he then said that if he asked a doctor to take out his testicles then that would mean he’d been changed into a girl.

And hopefully you told him that was completely incorrect.
He'd actually be changed into a "transgender person" not an actual girl.

"I said that yes, that’s correct but he then said that if he asked a doctor to take out his testicles then that would mean he’d been changed into a girl."

Just tell him a girl is not a boy without testicles. A girl is not a boy minus boy bits, but a sex in her own right with completely different reproductive equipment.

Be straightforward and no-nonsense. Fight the lies.

Unfortunately we are at the point of having to explain to our children that there are some adults and children who believe in x, and will tell you this is the truth, however while may need sympathy, they are wrong. And should not be believed. Despite the fact that these adults are in positions of trust. And that we have to be very careful however about what we say, even though we know they are wrong and saying things that are not true and are not fair or right to other people. And somehow we have to find a way to explain this without scaring them to death, getting them into trouble, or leaving them to be messed up by intentional political brain washing.

I imagine it's rather similar to what Catholic parents went through when Catholics were being hunted and burned, and various other awful periods in history where colonialists and religious extremists were trying to threaten and brainwash all into compliance and families had to look outwardly compliant and submissive and keep their reality and culture quiet amongst themselves until the bloody awful times passed. Gosh the right side of history looks very middle ages/dark side of the grottiest bits of history.

Time to be asking school what exactly they told the kids?
I'd just tell him you think they made a mistake, and that maybe they meant to say that being a girl or a boy doesn't mean you have to like particular colours/clothes/hobbies anyone can like anything.

Tell him that some children and adults have got confused and that it isn't true. Tell him it is ok to wear different clothes but that our bodies are especially made for boys and girls and can't be swapped about. Like saying a dog can't become a cat or an apple can't become a banana.

And hope that all this shit comes to an end soon.

What did you say to him?