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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I’ll ask this here too, on the other board things got weird fast: Is there like a (support) group or something I can donate to or help for single and childless women?

33 replies

OnedayTwodays · 31/08/2023 14:11

Maybe seems like a weird question, but I was wondering.
Partly because that is a group I’d like to help and partly to perhaps meet other women like me who are in a same situation and support each other.

OP posts:
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GarlicGrace · 02/09/2023 21:14

Oh I love this, @Forwarder ! That whole kindly yet no-nonsense tone of let's get on with it, stop whining, it'll be fun! It so echoes my grandmothers & great-aunts (young adults in that era), many of whom did live alone. I've put them in my saved basket 😍

AlisonDonut · 02/09/2023 20:43

OP I am not single but am childless by choice and I wasn't sure what your other thread was getting at so I didn't respond.

But my main piece of advice would be to be clear about who you want to help and why, and don't give away more than you can afford [and I'm not talking about money here].

None of us know what is around the corner and giving away too much [and here I am talking about money] may well put yourself at risk so by all means get involved with different support groups if you can find what it is you are looking for.

Signalbox · 02/09/2023 19:21

Hi OP. There’s Lighthouse Women (was Gateway Women). They have a forum and organise meet-ups (you do have to pay but if you are on a low income you can join for free). Sadly they do also allow men who ID as women to join so it’s not strictly women only.

There’s also an app called happyandchildless but not sure if it’s any good. It’s only been available for about a year.

https://www.happyandchildless.co.uk/happy-and-childless-app/

Happy & Childless App – Happy and Childless

https://www.happyandchildless.co.uk/happy-and-childless-app/

GarlicGrace · 02/09/2023 11:11

I read your earlier thread, too - but not all of it, as I was getting pretty irritated by the tenor of replies.

Coincidentally, I recently found this: Rent, groceries and household bills cost much more if you're alone, January 2023.

The article's about single "people" and, as others have highlighted, the situation's even worse for women due to lower earnings on average and poorer pension provision.

Text (abridged):

Single people are forced to spend £860 more a month on the cost of living than those in couples.

The cost of rent, groceries and household bills were much higher for single people living alone compared with couples, according to analysis from the broker Hargreaves Lansdown.

On average, a single person spends £1,851 per month on typical bills, but someone in a couple would spend just £991 on the same services, the broker said.

Single people were also less likely to have sufficient emergency savings, at 53pc compared with 79pc of those in relationships, a poll by Hargreaves Lansdown found. They were less likely to have enough cash left over at the end of the month to be considered financially resilient.

Sarah Coles, of Hargreaves Lansdown, said: “Single people have less in savings, and less cash left over at the end of the month. They pay the price over the long term too, because they’re less likely to be building equity in a property or saving enough to be on track for a moderate retirement income.”

“Even the tax system seems stacked against you,” she added. “There are specific tax breaks for people who are married or in civil partnerships, from the marriage allowance to the fact there is no inheritance tax on assets passed between spouses after death, or capital gains tax on assets passed while you’re alive."

Revealed: the true cost of being single

Rent, groceries and household bills cost much more if you're alone

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/consumer-affairs/revealed-true-cost-single

user9630721458 · 01/09/2023 22:58

Good idea OP. It's very hard paying all bills alone, and it's still true women earn less than men.

BlessedKali · 01/09/2023 22:42

Op - good luck with finding a group to support or join- Filia is definitely a good place to start.... there is a conference in glasgow this year and Im sure you would definitely come across something or someone related to what you are looking for x

BlessedKali · 01/09/2023 21:41

IwantToRetire · 01/09/2023 16:41

I'd also suggest you investigate the opportunities for improving your skills so that you have a chance of better-paid work. A charity might give you a handout once, but if you can find training and confidence-building opportunities you're set for life. Good luck.

AS said upthread and original OP. She is NOT asking for a handout. She is talking about making donations.

What a shame having posted on the "chat feminism" and got weird responses she posted on FWR and also get weird responses.

No wonder she's not been back.

I mis-understood the posts, I think the initial talk of charity and then the mention of low pay made me think this was the case. And some other users thought the same..... thank you for setting me straight on that.

PomegranateOfPersephone · 01/09/2023 19:29

Good idea CynicalTheorist, FiLia, Standing for Women and the Women’s Rights Network all have local groups I think, they might be good starting points for finding the sort of thing which you are looking for @OnedayTwodays if they don’t quite satisfy the needs exactly on their own.

IwantToRetire · 01/09/2023 16:41

I'd also suggest you investigate the opportunities for improving your skills so that you have a chance of better-paid work. A charity might give you a handout once, but if you can find training and confidence-building opportunities you're set for life. Good luck.

AS said upthread and original OP. She is NOT asking for a handout. She is talking about making donations.

What a shame having posted on the "chat feminism" and got weird responses she posted on FWR and also get weird responses.

No wonder she's not been back.

Cynicaltheorist · 01/09/2023 16:37

How about joining a feminist group, OP, one where you'll find other women who talk about these issues? Is there a Women's Centre in your area? See what they have to offer.

I'd also suggest you investigate the opportunities for improving your skills so that you have a chance of better-paid work. A charity might give you a handout once, but if you can find training and confidence-building opportunities you're set for life. Good luck.

PomegranateOfPersephone · 01/09/2023 16:14

DysonSpheres · 01/09/2023 14:51

I used to know someone, a single parent, about 11 or so years ago, who had a weekly meeting for women in the community her home. She was seen as a bit eccentric, but was also very involved in the community and her local church. It was interesting. One woman bought a spinning wheel in and carded her wool while the meeting progressed.

Children and babies were allowed, women often breastfed totally relaxed (I liked that about it) so it wasn't exclusively for single women. Someone would cook, and they chatted about anything and everything.

If you have a space in your home, or can rent a space in a local community hall, why not set up something? Advertise locally to begin with.

It would need a bit of initial focus and then could evolve naturally from there...

This sounds amazing! What a wonderful idea!

IwantToRetire · 01/09/2023 16:03

I hope this isn't seen as a tangent but one of the problems (well in the UK and maybe other western economies) is that so much of commerce is based on couples or couples with children.

So all sorts of deals mean that if you are single you end up paying more.

I saw a cruise (not something I would consider but was visiting the islands north of Scotland) and thought even though I would probably hate everyone else on the cruise(!!) I would love to go. No hassle with long trains journeys, buses to remote places. Just wake up in the morning and there would be a whole new island, port whatever.

But of course you have to pay a single supplement, and this whilst they were offer 2nd person half price to couples. Added to which, because I checked on the plan of the boat, the single room wasn't even half the size of the double. (I think there are some travel companies that provide trips etc., for single people but usually in off peak periods.)

But this is just an example of how as a single person, and as a woman you are likely to have a lower income, society and businesses can actually make you feel unwanted and / or over charged.

DysonSpheres · 01/09/2023 14:51

I used to know someone, a single parent, about 11 or so years ago, who had a weekly meeting for women in the community her home. She was seen as a bit eccentric, but was also very involved in the community and her local church. It was interesting. One woman bought a spinning wheel in and carded her wool while the meeting progressed.

Children and babies were allowed, women often breastfed totally relaxed (I liked that about it) so it wasn't exclusively for single women. Someone would cook, and they chatted about anything and everything.

If you have a space in your home, or can rent a space in a local community hall, why not set up something? Advertise locally to begin with.

It would need a bit of initial focus and then could evolve naturally from there...

YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/09/2023 13:55

You are quite right OP. On the whole, women make less money than men and it is very, very hard for a low-waged single woman to live comfortably or save for a housing deposit. I think that the key issue here is low-waged (or even medium waged).

DerekFaker · 01/09/2023 12:59

I see some of the weirdness has followed you here, OP.

I hope you find what you're looking for, and can ignore the unhelpful posts xx

Beowulfa · 01/09/2023 09:42

I was very depressed about being single in my early 30s. I often thought that I'd make quite a good nun, without the religious element. I like the idea of a community of women, like a nunnery, bound by a commitment to mutual support, pooling their skills.

BlackeyedSusan · 01/09/2023 01:11

When I was young there were several old single ladies who lost sweethearts in the great war attending the church I went to.

There are a couple of single ladies at the church I attend now.

There does need to be some sort of social support for those who want something non faith based.

I didn't meet ex til my thirties it started to be difficult being single quite early on. I think there is a need for something to support single women. It is very different to single parenting.

IwantToRetire · 01/09/2023 00:44

Why are there posts about asking for handouts?

Have your read the OP?

Where is she asking for handouts?

She is asking where she can make a donation.

And even if she wasn't and was asking for help it's hugely presumptive to think that if someone was asking for help they hadn't already done as much as they could.

But on the other point about making contact with other women, as we all know from many different threads on FWR it is really difficult, particularly if you are looking for something that is by and for women.

In the meantime ...

Does anyone know of any charities helping isolated single women - if so why not share that info for the OP as asked for

MentholLoad · 31/08/2023 22:23

wouldn't single women without children have increased earning potential, compared to those WITH children? or do you mean to fund social inclusion type events/activities?

BlessedKali · 31/08/2023 22:15

I mean this kindly - If you are low income without dependants then why not find a way to improve your employability? train, study, find a way to move into a better paid job rather then look for handouts? We are all responsible for our own lives, and all responsible for what we make of them. That said there are some groups which will have barriers to this - refugees, those with disabilities, single mothers, victims of trauma, etc. That's why charities do exist for those demographics.

I wish you lots of luck finding friends in a similiar situation xx

IwantToRetire · 31/08/2023 19:59

Have found this short list of some charities but not sure of their locations etc..
https://restless.co.uk/money/everyday-finance/five-charities-that-help-women-in-need/

When using google (maybe I should try something else) it assumes it is about women who have found they are unable to get pregnant. I wonder if during the 20s and 30s because of the massive number of deaths in WWI it became something that people were aware of, but maybe didn't name, that many more women than in previous times would be childless spinsters.

(Had a look at the Gateway site and it made me think it was US based but I think it is UK and Ireland.)

Six charities that help women in need - Rest Less

Women can end up in financial difficulty for all kinds of reasons: illness, breakdown of a relationship or losing their job. There is some state help available but there are also some charities that help women in need. Below is a list of charities that...

https://restless.co.uk/money/everyday-finance/five-charities-that-help-women-in-need

Coyoacan · 31/08/2023 17:07

What a lovely answer, @IwantToRetire