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Original poster

So apparently I am a hateful bigot. Who knew?!

188 replies

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 21:59

This has been playing on my mind since it happened. In a pub on Thursday night just gone. Very old building - toilets not great. No separate mens/ladies. Go through one door and there are 3 cubicles for all. Everyone has to queue together in this very small space. Big queue - a 6 foot 4 ish man with a beard wearing a flowery blue dress and lipstick, who was stood behind me, suggested that we speed things up by "us girls" going in together. I refused. That led to a tirade of abuse including that I was a hateful old bigot and it was known that 'girls' always shared a loo. Obviously he told all his pals at the table he was sat at, and they loudly discussed my transphobia until I necked my drink and left. It has been bothering me ever since! Just sharing/venting more than anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:48

God I give up. I am so bored on a Saturday night that I am making up things that happened to me three days ago. Clearly because I am a hateful bigot. Oh, and a hag too.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:47

This reply has been deleted

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See above.

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Cucucucu · 19/08/2023 22:46

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Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:46

Again - why would I make it up? I am usually a reader on this board, not a poster. Simply because I am still learning. I've wanted to post since it happened. Yet apparently I am making it up?

OP posts:
ASoapImpressionOfHisWifeWhichHeAte · 19/08/2023 22:45

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Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:45

pontipinemum · 19/08/2023 22:44

Does he think that women who don't know each other regularly go into the actual toilet cubicle together? That is so weird. I shared a cubicle a few times with friends when I was a teen and we first started going out drink but I really don't know why and wouldn't share with my closest friend now!

It's all the playing at womanhood bollocks (literally).

Sleepovers with pillow fights - check.
Handing out tampons - check.
Sharing toilet cubicles with your gal pals - check.

OP posts:
pontipinemum · 19/08/2023 22:44

Does he think that women who don't know each other regularly go into the actual toilet cubicle together? That is so weird. I shared a cubicle a few times with friends when I was a teen and we first started going out drink but I really don't know why and wouldn't share with my closest friend now!

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:34

Apollo441 · 19/08/2023 22:33

If a bloke not in a dress suggested he come in a cubicle with you how would you react? So why is it not sexual harassment because he's wearing a dress?

I completely agree with you I just don't think that the pub can do anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:33

JanesLittleGirl · 19/08/2023 22:32

Why did he have a problem with the queue for the ladies loo when he was a man?

There are no separate mens/ladies. It is literally 3 cubicles for all.

OP posts:
Apollo441 · 19/08/2023 22:33

If a bloke not in a dress suggested he come in a cubicle with you how would you react? So why is it not sexual harassment because he's wearing a dress?

JanesLittleGirl · 19/08/2023 22:32

Why did he have a problem with the queue for the ladies loo when he was a man?

nocoolnamesleft · 19/08/2023 22:31

Fucking hell. How intimidating for you.

Notbeinfunnehbut · 19/08/2023 22:31

Putting the gender part aside one moment

what an odd thing to do to , women only do that occasionally with very close friends

not strangers 🤔

vipersnest1 · 19/08/2023 22:31

@NoChanceYouMetalBastard, I'm with you all the way (although I can't say it at work).
But, I don't think it's the pub's fault - personally I would prefer single sex arrangements but that's not relevant to your scenario - it's the fact that this man called you out unnecessarily.
And yes, he is a complete weirdo for expecting you to share a cubicle with him.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:31

lurchermummy · 19/08/2023 22:30

I would literally have told him to fuck off

I did say are you having a fucking laugh...

OP posts:
lurchermummy · 19/08/2023 22:30

I would literally have told him to fuck off

Apollo441 · 19/08/2023 22:29

That was sexual harassment. Complain.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:27

I have been toying with the idea of messaging the pub but I don't think there is a point. The building is so old that I can't see how or where they could make provision for separately sexed toilets. (and people like this person would just use the womens anyway).

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LateSummerLobelia · 19/08/2023 22:26

Christ. I can barely fit into one cubicle on my own, never mind having to accommodate female friends (the old fashioned kind) or large biological men.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:26

AngelinaFibres

Had it just been the two of us in there I don't know that I would have been so brave to be honest. I probably would have walked out and waited.

OP posts:
PatatiPatatras · 19/08/2023 22:24

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:23

The group of people he was with were all young, mostly young women. Although 2 of them went to go to the toilet after he had come back...

Show quote history

😂

I'll validate you, yes! yes! just later.

AngelinaFibres · 19/08/2023 22:24

AvengedQuince · 19/08/2023 22:08

I don't understand the point of sharing, there's only one loo so how is that quicker than waiting outside the cubicle?

This. By the time you've hung your bag on the back of the door and sat down surely there isn't room for anyone larger than a small child to share with you anyway. Perhaps he thinks it what women do ,along with giving out tampons , squealing,crying and redoing all our make up. You don't need to 'perform ' womanhood since you actually are one. Good for you for saying no.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:23

misogynyisbigotry · 19/08/2023 22:22

Big queue - a 6 foot 4 ish man with a beard wearing a flowery blue dress and lipstick, who was stood behind me, suggested that we speed things up by "us girls" going in together. I refused. That led to a tirade of abuse including that I was a hateful old bigot and it was known that 'girls' always shared a loo. Obviously he told all his pals at the table he was sat at, and they loudly discussed my transphobia until I necked my drink and left.

Interesting that none of his pals challenged HIM on his bigoted misogyny (implying that women are fucking stupid) and transphobia (implying that trans people are unavoidably bullies/weirdos).

I've heard the claim - not from actual trans people, but from "allies" advocating from within a dark paper bag or a dark man cave - that women somehow naturally and unavoidably go to the loo together as an argument against restoring women's toilets to their original and hard-won same sex status. Apparently transwomen who pass perfectly would be outed because they couldn't go to the loo with their women friends. I assumed they meant the transwomen would have to go inside the women's loo to gossip with the group and trade lipsticks, not that anyone was sharing a stall, but who knows? 😝

The group of people he was with were all young, mostly young women. Although 2 of them went to go to the toilet after he had come back...

OP posts:
Maerchentante · 19/08/2023 22:23

RufustheFactualReindeer · 19/08/2023 22:14

There is a club in the nearest city to me that has two toilets in one cubicle in the ladies loo

A restaurant in my hometown has that, too. Came in quite handy when I took my niece out for a meal but other than that it makes no sense at all.