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Original poster

F*****g pronouns

94 replies

Gettingbysomehow · 17/08/2023 22:35

I've avoided it for years because it's rubbish but have now been told I put my pronouns on my email or else.
So I've put us/we and when asked what that was all about I said I've always felt like two people and want to be addressed as such.
Apparently I am taking the piss.
I'm not sure it's me taking the piss and if I want to be two people I will be. I'm 61 and in my opinion know my own mind.
It's all such a ridiculous farce anyway.

OP posts:
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Mummy08m · 18/08/2023 09:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I agree with this.

I also object vociferously to compliance with this ideology. But cheeky game-playing gets us nowhere.

You have to respect that these people at work, pressuring you to do this, are usually not diehard TRAs who hate Glinner and Germaine Greer. 95% they're just well-meaning bumblers, generally intelligent people who haven't looked into this thoroughly and for whom this isn't a big part of their job but just a quick tick box exercise.

Childish game playing won't win over these well meaning bumblers. They won't understand the nuance behind it, because they lack all the context.
Game playing won't win over the diehard TRAs - very little will.
Game playing also won't endear you to your fellow GCs at work, many of whom might be serious mature-ish women.

So, it wins no one over.

secretrugbyfan · 18/08/2023 08:51

Put this......

I now identify as a Donkey.

My pronouns are he/haw

SirChenjins · 18/08/2023 08:27

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:17

It sounds like you are taking the piss IMO

If you don't like your job you're free to give notice you know?

You're conflating 'I'm not subscribing to gender bollocks' and 'I don't like my job'. Don't be so silly.

OP, lots of sound advice here. Do not go down the route - you wouldn't put eg 'white' or 'black' or 'non Christian' at the end of your signature, your gender (if indeed you subscribe to the idea of gender) is irrelevant here too.

SweetChilliGirl · 18/08/2023 08:15

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:17

It sounds like you are taking the piss IMO

If you don't like your job you're free to give notice you know?

Why in earth should the OP be forced out of her job because she doesn't believe in gender bollocks? Charming.

Mummy08m · 18/08/2023 05:32

My dh found a he/him on his work profile and does not remember ever declaring this. What's the point if you don't even ask? His name is clearly a common masculine one, like Tom.

We were both briefly shocked (well I was, he just laughed) but it's a great company in other ways for genuinely helpful policies like extended paternity leave.

It won't have been thought through very hard. Eventually the social consensus will be that its silly and then they'll be removed again, again without most people thinking hard about it

Mariposa26 · 18/08/2023 02:11

Refuse and say you do not want to expressly state you are female (if you are) due to data privacy

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 18/08/2023 02:04

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:27

It's not ok to take the piss out of the person you work for.

If you want to take the piss you can take a P45 too

Show quote history

You still haven't explained why it's okay for a trans person to use us/we, but not a woman

That's sounds a bit discriminatory tbh and like you, and the manager, are making assumptions about the OPs gender based on the fact she looks like a woman in her 60s (sorry OP you could look like a woman in her 40s for all I know...)

squidgybits · 18/08/2023 02:04

Does not sound legal

Slothtoes · 18/08/2023 02:01

for the reasons that others have said, OP, this is not in the ballpark of an ‘appropriate request’ by your employer to force everyone to add pronouns visibly and publicly. It’s an unreasonable ask even on its own logic if they look at Yogyakarta . Look up the Pronouns are Rohypnol article.

NotBadConsidering · 18/08/2023 01:51

*Employees

NotBadConsidering · 18/08/2023 01:49

It’s offensive to make employers declare allegiance to a religion they don’t believe in.

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:27

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 18/08/2023 01:20

But us/we has been accepted by some institutions as pronouns that can be used

So why is it okay for some, but not okay for 60 year old women to use them?

Show quote history

It's not ok to take the piss out of the person you work for.

If you want to take the piss you can take a P45 too

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 18/08/2023 01:20

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:17

It sounds like you are taking the piss IMO

If you don't like your job you're free to give notice you know?

But us/we has been accepted by some institutions as pronouns that can be used

So why is it okay for some, but not okay for 60 year old women to use them?

donnawinters · 18/08/2023 01:17

It sounds like you are taking the piss IMO

If you don't like your job you're free to give notice you know?

ErinBell01 · 18/08/2023 01:02

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 17/08/2023 22:42

Yes it's bloody ridiculous. If they object to us/we, you could always put I/Me. Or you could point out that making employees state pronouns is against the Yogyakarta principles and risks forcing someone to unwillingly 'out' themselves, so it could potentially upset people who consider themselves to be trans.

Well that's the first time I've heard the Yogyakarta principles being spoken of in a positive light!

Or she could say it's her belief not to have pronouns and it's a legitimate belief for which she must not experience discrimination, under the Equality Act 2010, and see what HR makes of that.

bossybloss · 18/08/2023 00:54

Another thought

I am assuming you are female and they want you to put she/ her. If you put he/him how do you think they would react?

Gowlett · 18/08/2023 00:54

I laugh every time I see the he/she/whatever beside people’s names. I can’t believe it’s actually taken seriously… Especially in work!

Seddon · 18/08/2023 00:53

Joolsin · 17/08/2023 22:46

When they say you're taking the piss, tell them you're feeling incredibly invalidated and triggered, nay victimised, throw all the stock phrases back at them ... literal violence, etc, etc. Bet that puts them on the back foot.

Yes and don't forget Hate Speech!

bossybloss · 18/08/2023 00:52

Gettingbysomehow · 17/08/2023 22:35

I've avoided it for years because it's rubbish but have now been told I put my pronouns on my email or else.
So I've put us/we and when asked what that was all about I said I've always felt like two people and want to be addressed as such.
Apparently I am taking the piss.
I'm not sure it's me taking the piss and if I want to be two people I will be. I'm 61 and in my opinion know my own mind.
It's all such a ridiculous farce anyway.

You are a similar age to me.. I am fully expecting this soon at work. They can fuck right off !

SpinalFap12 · 18/08/2023 00:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PandaExpress · 18/08/2023 00:37

Don't do it. Refuse. It's at the very least, a violation of your privacy! They can't sack you for refusing. No way in hell, will I be putting pronouns on anything.

StopTheWorld1WantToGetOff · 18/08/2023 00:24

Or else what?

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 18/08/2023 00:14

I would tell them that my pronouns are like my religion or star sign. Surely they wouldn't ask you to put your religion or ethnicity or house rising on your email?

I don't think they can actually force you to do it. Not everyone has pronouns. It's creating a hostile work environment which is against the law.

GrumpyPanda · 18/08/2023 00:13

Do you interact with foreign colleagues much? If so, you could specify the formal 2nd person form of address, so: "French: Vous. German: Sie".