Nursery have asked if my 4 month old is non binary.

Jamtartforme · 2023-08-10T14:00:28+00:00

Filling in paperwork for my son to start in the baby room in a few month’s time and the question is as follows: Child Gender: Male / Female / Non binary This is a form for children aged 3 months to 4 years. I’ve asked my baby whether he feels comfortable in the sex he was born as but he declined to answer and then vomited on me… Seriously though, should I challenge this? It seems absurd.

Hooplahooping · 23/08/2023 13:22

Same. Love a non-pushy child lead environment!

Mollc1 · 23/08/2023 12:53

Hi,
I work for the DM and would like to pick this up please!
Let me know if you'd be interested.

SinnerBoy · 12/08/2023 15:52

It's not ideological to know, with the backing of biomedical science that there are two sexes, or that babies and toddlers aren't some nebulous in between category.

Forwarder · 12/08/2023 12:25

SharonEllis · 10/08/2023 19:19

Yes, an ocean is v definitely made of drops!. I would ask for an appointment with the manager and explain why this is nonsensical on one level & at worst has serious implications for children's wellbeing. I would want to know how they talk to kids about sex/gender/gender roles etc. Are boys & girls encouraged to play with all toys and NOT encouraged to think that a boy who plays with a doll is in fact a girl. How are the staff trained to deal with these issues etc. Only after that conversation would I go to Ofsted or the press if they are intransigent. I get that you want to tread carefully with an older child there but its incredibly important this this crap is not tolerated.

Good advice 👆

When your older child started the form just asked which sex I guess?

All this has come on very suddenly. My child's primary school came out all gender woo in past year.

It will be uncomfortable but you need to meet with manager and ask them what is going on.

It's all so sensitive when you are trusting other people to act in loco parentis. You don't want to risk falling out with them and your kid treated less well. Nor do you want your toddler groomed by gender adherents.

More exposure of these situations in the daily mail would help, but I wouldn't want the attention, esp not if it involves my children.

You are not the only parent worried about this.

Yahyahs22 · 12/08/2023 11:20

Florissante · 10/08/2023 15:05

I know how your baby feels. I always want to vomit when I'm asked if I'm male, female or non-binary.

Same

vdbfamily · 12/08/2023 10:48

Jamtartforme · 12/08/2023 10:06

I don’t think that should be an option either if I’m honest. Firstly they’ll find out anyway through nappy changing; secondly if you tick it, what then? The staff have to say they/them and confuse the other children with nonsensical language? And tell them off if they ‘misgender’ the kid at the age of 2? Male or female - it’s simple and factual. I don’t think people should be able to opt out of facts on any level.

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I don't disagree. I think it is abusive really to not be clear with your child what their biological sex is. By all means dress them neutrally and let them play with non gendered toys but biological sex should not really be in question.

Original poster

Jamtartforme · 12/08/2023 10:06

vdbfamily · 12/08/2023 09:01

I think this is why. I had a work colleague who had a baby and gave it a neutral name and did not reveal its biological sex. She intended to raise it gender neutral and my guess is, if sending to nursery, she would have objected to having to state male or female. This will become more common but a " prefer not to say" box would be more accurate.

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I don’t think that should be an option either if I’m honest. Firstly they’ll find out anyway through nappy changing; secondly if you tick it, what then? The staff have to say they/them and confuse the other children with nonsensical language? And tell them off if they ‘misgender’ the kid at the age of 2? Male or female - it’s simple and factual. I don’t think people should be able to opt out of facts on any level.

OP posts:

NotBadConsidering · 12/08/2023 09:41

So stupid. With 0-4 age, the staff and going to know on the first day what sex the child is. Are they meant to keep it secret? Can they discuss the child among themselves and refer to the child’s sex? If a 4 year old asks them if they’re a boy or a girl are they expected to lie at the behest of the parents? So, so stupid.

vdbfamily · 12/08/2023 09:01

gogomoto · 10/08/2023 16:15

There are parents (the vocal trendy kind who have public Instagram accounts) who bring their babies up non binary. Won't even tell the grandparents apparently. Yes it's bizarre but it's a crazy world out there

I think this is why. I had a work colleague who had a baby and gave it a neutral name and did not reveal its biological sex. She intended to raise it gender neutral and my guess is, if sending to nursery, she would have objected to having to state male or female. This will become more common but a " prefer not to say" box would be more accurate.

Helleofabore · 12/08/2023 08:42

SunRainStorm · 12/08/2023 07:40

@OldCrone @NotBadConsidering

That's your opinion, other people don't agree with you and they certainly don't think it's what's best for their children.

Why should the nursery cater to your ideology over that of others.

If you know your child is male then circle 'male' and continue on with your day.

Can I ask who you think might not know their child is either a male or female? This is a nursery, I believe that early detectable children with ambiguous genitalia will have been categorised with modern technology into their corresponding sex category.

So who are the parents who don’t know what sex their child is?

Original poster

Jamtartforme · 12/08/2023 08:32

@SunRainStorm why would I circle male over NB? What indicators are there as to which I should choose?

OP posts:

NotBadConsidering · 12/08/2023 08:27

SunRainStorm · 12/08/2023 07:40

@OldCrone @NotBadConsidering

That's your opinion, other people don't agree with you and they certainly don't think it's what's best for their children.

Why should the nursery cater to your ideology over that of others.

If you know your child is male then circle 'male' and continue on with your day.

The nursery is choosing ideology over reality, not my ideology. I don’t have an ideology. If the nursery is doing this they are not gender secular, they are gender ideological. Anyone who cares about children should be stopping blind faith following.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 12/08/2023 08:23

What a load of claptrap.

Many years ago when I enrolled mine for play group the only boxes were male and female. That was potentially an issue as at age 3, one of mine needed a "diplodocus" box.

Gender nonsense around children needs to stop.

OldCrone · 12/08/2023 07:58

SunRainStorm · 12/08/2023 07:40

@OldCrone @NotBadConsidering

That's your opinion, other people don't agree with you and they certainly don't think it's what's best for their children.

Why should the nursery cater to your ideology over that of others.

If you know your child is male then circle 'male' and continue on with your day.

What do you think is my 'opinion'? That everyone has a sex and that it can't be changed? Do you think that this fact (which everyone was aware of until about 5 minutes ago) is an 'ideology'?

Duckingella · 12/08/2023 07:57

Maybe they have some of those nutty parents who refuse to name their kids gender so they can decide if they want to be male or female?

WandaWonder · 12/08/2023 07:53

Prescottdanni123 · 12/08/2023 06:59

There are some people having non-bonary babies. I think Paloma Faith said that her baby was going to be non-binary until they were old enough to make the decision on whether they were male or female. I don't know if she actually followed through with this though.

So they are not having a non-binary baby they are having a male or female baby but don't want to acknowledge the fact the child is male or female basically

Are they waiting for the child to grow up and look in mirror at the body they were born with and say 'when did that happen? Oh when I was born'

SunRainStorm · 12/08/2023 07:40

@OldCrone @NotBadConsidering

That's your opinion, other people don't agree with you and they certainly don't think it's what's best for their children.

Why should the nursery cater to your ideology over that of others.

If you know your child is male then circle 'male' and continue on with your day.

FrancescaContini · 12/08/2023 07:20

Sleeepdeprived · 10/08/2023 20:29

For the non-believers…

The world has gone mad.

Beyond belief 😱

OldCrone · 12/08/2023 07:20

Prescottdanni123 · 12/08/2023 06:59

There are some people having non-bonary babies. I think Paloma Faith said that her baby was going to be non-binary until they were old enough to make the decision on whether they were male or female. I don't know if she actually followed through with this though.

Make the decision on whether they were male or female? As she was having a baby I assume she knows how babies are made and there wasn't a decision to be made about whether it would be her or her male partner who got pregnant and gave birth to the child.

Do these people realise how ridiculous they sound when they come out with this stuff?

FrancescaContini · 12/08/2023 07:18

I wouldn’t have my baby in this nursery. The staff don’t sound very bright.

Cascais · 12/08/2023 07:08

Just tick male

sashh · 12/08/2023 07:07

Jamtartforme · 10/08/2023 16:00

It wasn’t on the form for our eldest, DH is convinced it’s due to a woke parent complaining.

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I agree with your husband. Or they have someone doing a work placement from school / college and they have suggested (had a massive strop) about adding it.

I'd ask why there are only three and not 50+ genders on the list.

Cascais · 12/08/2023 07:04

No

Prescottdanni123 · 12/08/2023 06:59

There are some people having non-bonary babies. I think Paloma Faith said that her baby was going to be non-binary until they were old enough to make the decision on whether they were male or female. I don't know if she actually followed through with this though.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/08/2023 06:35

Blame the parents who encourage this nonsense and are happy to pander to their three year olds declaring they aren’t a boy etc. Mine wanted to be Daisy Duck most of the time.

Sadly I think many people will look back on all this gender/non binary nonsense in a few years and realise was utter tosh it was.