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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

You are safe with me

186 replies

Justme56 · 09/08/2023 18:49

I saw this on Twitter as David Tennent was wearing one. I’m sure his intention is good but it gave me weird vibes. Can he guarantee that everyone who is wearing one is ‘safe’ to be around? Am I overthinking this?

You are safe with me
OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 10/08/2023 01:37

= Anyone straight hates you and is a danger

= Anyone not straight likes you and will help you out of danger

It's risible bollocks.

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 01:36

fullbloom87 · 10/08/2023 01:29

Yeah weird. It's like trying to groom people to believe that anyone who isn't 100% straight is somehow safe.

Sorry, it's late (early?!l and not sure what you mean by this?

KohlaParasaurus · 10/08/2023 01:34

Kaa the snake's eyes were the first thing that came to my mind. And also, "You are in danger and I can protect you," which is unpleasantly condescending.

fullbloom87 · 10/08/2023 01:29

Yeah weird. It's like trying to groom people to believe that anyone who isn't 100% straight is somehow safe.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2023 01:03

Windywuss · 09/08/2023 22:44

This is the kind of virtue signalling I dislike. I have no doubt DT is being good intentioned. But the whole notion of being an ally is such black and white thinking.

I'm a lecturer. In my university, staff can choose to add a badge to their signature and use a rainbow badge in real life to indicate their status as an LGBTQ ally. The staff LGBTQ network runs this stuff. Again they all mean well but I think it gives the impression that if you're not a badge wearer then somehow you are unsafe or against them.

Now I'm a femininst and won't use pronouns for myself and don't believe in gender over sex. This does not mean that I am unsafe for ANY of my students. I support all of them whatever is going on in their lives.

I think this generation are being done a disservice by the lack of critical thinking (which I try and address in my small way) and black and white thinking around these days.

The 'I'm safe for everyone' piece is important.

I work with (being vague) two people who should be very very good at their jobs and they are fairly well paid. Think Council or similar. One of them is a young man, terribly woke. His signature runs to almost a page (I'm not joking) with declarations, BLM, rainbow flags, quotes and other assorted virtue signalling. The other is a crusty older woman with her name and number.

Guess which one of them works with my most challenging clients, always calls back, always calm and kind and present? And the thing is that all the clients know it too.

It's actually a good job because printing his emails if I need to is a pain in the arse. So I never bother with him any more. He almost never calls back and if he does he's useless.

A badge doesn't make you safe. Being safe makes you safe. And even then you're Schrödinger's rapist. Look at all the men in the public eye, I mean who is really teflon at this point?

PermanentTemporary · 10/08/2023 00:58

It's interesting that to me 'safe' means a lot more than 'I'm not going to make homophobic jokes or misgender you'. But yes, if that is the definition of safety, most of us could wear that badge.

Clymene · 10/08/2023 00:54

*who's

Clymene · 10/08/2023 00:54

John is a predatory man. He likes underage boys and grooms them online. He also likes to pick them up in lgbt spaces. He wears a special badge that tells people he's an ally.

Sam has been with his husband for 17 years. He doesn't wear a special badge.

Ann is head of D&I in her company. She doesn't wear a special badge.

Whose less likely to be a threat to young people?

DiabolicalFinial · 10/08/2023 00:51

When I read the title of this thread, I immediately though Jeffrey M was back again…

SuperNewMe · 10/08/2023 00:44

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:02

The badge isn't a substitute for a DBS check. That's not the point of it. We're not in the realm of safeguarding here; we're not talking about whether your child can go home with someone because they're wearing a badge.

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

That's how I see it too
As in I'm straight and not trans, if I was to wear one it'd just mean that I am an ally and someone accepting (for want of a better word) aka safe as the badge says of LGBT people.
In an increasingly hostile time for members of the community I think it's a good thing.
As pp says, it's not meaning anything like come home with me or whatever! 🙄
Just you know I'm not going to be homophobic or transphobic towards you.

MrsGalloway · 10/08/2023 00:12

Yes @cariadlet exactly. As a parent to a gender non conforming child I’d be deeply wary of any adult sporting a badge like this, I’d be genuinely worried that they might be pushing an agenda that would be telling my child there was something fundamentally amiss with their body and put them on a pathway to dangerous irreversible and experimental medical intervention

HereForTheFreeLunch · 09/08/2023 23:17

Do men really think a badge is all anyone needs to identify the bad guys?
What's to stop the bad guys identifying as a good guy?
Be that a priest, a police man or just a random bloke with a badge!

LeoDiCapricorn · 09/08/2023 22:55

Wayne Couxens had a badge. Didn't make him safe

cariadlet · 09/08/2023 22:54

This reply has been deleted

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Windywuss · 09/08/2023 22:44

This is the kind of virtue signalling I dislike. I have no doubt DT is being good intentioned. But the whole notion of being an ally is such black and white thinking.

I'm a lecturer. In my university, staff can choose to add a badge to their signature and use a rainbow badge in real life to indicate their status as an LGBTQ ally. The staff LGBTQ network runs this stuff. Again they all mean well but I think it gives the impression that if you're not a badge wearer then somehow you are unsafe or against them.

Now I'm a femininst and won't use pronouns for myself and don't believe in gender over sex. This does not mean that I am unsafe for ANY of my students. I support all of them whatever is going on in their lives.

I think this generation are being done a disservice by the lack of critical thinking (which I try and address in my small way) and black and white thinking around these days.

PatatiPatatras · 09/08/2023 22:27

I'm safe because I say I am!

Isthisexpected · 09/08/2023 22:19

Safe to be who you are and to put your wishes above those of women without a penis is how I read that.

JanesLittleGirl · 09/08/2023 22:17

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:02

The badge isn't a substitute for a DBS check. That's not the point of it. We're not in the realm of safeguarding here; we're not talking about whether your child can go home with someone because they're wearing a badge.

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

And of course we should all believe that badge wearer. I don't think so.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 09/08/2023 22:15

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

Why?

OneSugar1 · 09/08/2023 22:12

Deeds, not words, David.

Respect is given straight away, whether or not you maintain it is up to you. But trust, ah, well that has to be earned.

Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 22:00

I mean that genuinely BTW. In the current climate it can be difficult to differentiate genuine comment from sarcasm.

Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 21:55

@PomegranateOfPersephone Thanks. You've joined the dots. We're all saying the same thing. Predators will do whatever necessary to predate.

PomegranateOfPersephone · 09/08/2023 21:46

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2023 20:46

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

It's pretty unsafe for women too and I wouldn't trust a man wearing similar for women. In fact, I'd assume they were a twat or a predator unless I had very good intell to the contrary.

Oh my goodness can you imagine!? If a man was wearing the same badge but with green, white and violet around the edges! I would keep well away, I would consider it a massive red flag and that he would be a danger to women rather than a genuine ally.

Who virtue signals like that? Who declares “I am safe”? Who has an interest in actively soliciting trust in those they have only just met rather than allowing it to grow over time?

The wolf. The snake. The child catcher. The spider. The fox.

In a words predators. They are in a hurry, they can’t allow you time to make your own decisions based on their actions and behaviour over time or hearing their reputation from others. They explicitly tell you, I’m nice, I am safe, I am empathetic, I am kind. People who are genuinely those things don’t tend to announce it or go out of their way to persuade others of it. Of course with the queering of society ordinary people are being encouraged to announce such things to provide cover for predators just as they are encouraged to recite the mantra “people are who they say they are”, or to apply the rule “don’t question people if you think they are in the wrong place or behaving suspiciously or strangely people know where they should be and what they are doing better than you do”.

@Mochudubh and @duc748 I love the song! Thanks for the share!

Boiledbeetle · 09/08/2023 21:30

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

Then honestly you need to give your head a wobble.

FictionalCharacter · 09/08/2023 21:28

TeenDivided · 09/08/2023 18:51

That kind of 'safe' is really 'I won't challenge your views ever' isn't it?

Yep!

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