Struggling to support JK Rowling…

" IcakethereforeIam

Oh Epic! 😲 I hope it's just temporary
You definitely should sue.

Many apologies for having to split my replies over two posts, for some reason, after i added emotes to the last post, it wouldn't respond to key strokes.
Anyhoo, thank you for your kind words, i shall be suing and have taken the liberty of taking a screen shot of your post to pass on along with Beetles post.
Thank you both, for your very kind support at this very sad time.
Thank you also for the pic of the emergency quokka and other furry friends, i found them very helpful, along with my support teddy and colouring book.

Sadly, no, as far as i know, it's a permanent thing. My sugar intake has to be strictly measured. I am allowed some but preferably as little possible, with an absolute maximum of 25 grams per day. A slice of proper cake would just be too much, i'm very sorry to say.
My calorie count is supposed to be about 2000 per day but luckily for me, i'm nowhere near being overweight, so i have a bit of leeway with that. My blood pressure has to be done twice daily and my 'steps ' all have to be counted, noted and reported.
Oh what fun!
However, on the bright side, i have found some sugar free dark choccy digestives and some low calorie, low sugar cakes but they're not the same.
Still it could be worse but for the purposes of suing the OP, nothing on this earth could ever be any worse than being banned from a nice big slab of full sugar cake!
I'm relying on you ladies of the board, to eat a slice for me at every occasion. Many thanks in advance. xxx

Yes, you are absolutely spot on there @Boiledbeetle the title was misleading, wasn't it? By the time i realised what the true content of the thread was, it was too late to look away.
I've cried buckets today - every time the thought of this thread pops into mind, the tears start all over again. I've never been so traumatised.
I'm going to screen shot the OP's and your post, as well as @IcakethereforeIam's post too, though bearing in my mind that her name contains that 4 letter word, i'm traumatised all over again but i will need the screen shots to hand to a solicitor, in case the OP has the thread removed.
😥😥😥

Sorry:

CHERYESCHER

SIRYESSIR

Keeper Scott, would you like to be in charge of the Scottish water vole breeding programme? FYI they often have darker fur than their Southern cousins, often black.

Said the bishop to the actress.

Never fear, I'm dealing with the ferrets, with my trusty group of Archers listeners.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4862271-archers-thread-151-a-fete-worse-than-death-or-a-reverse-ferret-helens-got-the-borsetshire-blues-toms-talking-shiitake-george-is-a-rotten-apple-discuss-the-archers-here?reply=128113743

You do realise it's in addition to your thread poster job here don't you? You can't just leave us to go stroke furry things

I was going to say id take the ermines in honour of the pub I spent many many hours in way back in the day, but having just looked its been renamed after the brook that swallowed my sister's flip flops in 1975 so I withdraw my offer.

Ì GOT THE JOB!!!

I'm afraid the mustelids will need their own separate park. Preferably many miles away and with excellent security.

So no need for me to be concerned about the safety of my collection or for Cute Animal Keeper Scott to worry about ferrets.

You know if JKR ever stumbles upon this thread it's just going to confirm to her the fact that we are all raving bonkers!

And maybe some cute invertebrates.

Agree about honey badgers.

but not honey

despite the name those are some nasty badgers

Badgers? American and European.

Dear Chers

May I suggest a salt water lake for the convenience of sea otters to link their little arms together and lie on their backs holding food in their cute little pawsies?

Yours in anticipated appreciation of your work
B Black

@IcakethereforeIam thank you for the emergency quokka and @AlisonDonut merci for the reassuring news about the colour of the neighbourhood écureuils.

I feel much better now.

Dear Chers

I can wrestle a hamster with one arm tied behind my back. Those furry buggers don't scare me one bit.

I am wary of ferrets, however.

Yours

A Scott

Dear A Scott

Thank you for your application. I shall give it my fullest consideration.

When I receive confirmation of my win, I will contact you again with a view to possibly progressing the onboarding process.

As a first step, could you tell me how you would handle working with European hamsters? Cute AF but very bitey and will happily fight a large dog or small adult human.

Yours etc.
Chers F Face

Oh no they are red - we are in France. So all autumn they are in and out of the garden stealing food. The wood backs onto our garden so we get all sorts here.

I picked mushrooms [cepes] the size of dinner plates last year in there.

Oh, buggrit. Fell for the cute animal trap again.

Dear Chers or Madam

This is my application to work in your Cute Zoo.

I am good at appreciation and brushing.

Please find attached my CV

Thanks

A Scott

Y'all a bunch of coffee-and-walnut-phobic bigots!!!
Coffee-and-walnut rights are cake rights!
Educate yourselves and do better!

There must be a suitable castle dungeon somewhere in Scotland she can be locked in to protect herself from contamination of association. Stick her in there with a typewriter and a ream of paper, maybe a spare ribbon for the typewriter!

I dont agree with the whole relating to character, but regardless of her thoughts and feelings she has a responsibility to her franchise. Many professions would be dismissed for doing what she did.

I feel sad for her as shes now completely remove from the world she created and I dont imagine adoring on twitter fills that hole.

Coffee is manky though