Do you hide your GC views under a bushel?

I've also found it's been men who can't see both sides and think it's a terrible crime not to believe TWAW. The 2 people in my life who cut me off for being a 'terf' were men.
They're all up for women's rights so long as it doesn't exclude the types of 'women' born with a penis.

Which rather gives the game away.

I live in Canada so I can't say a word.

I don’t know anyone who has the view that twaw, I don’t hide my thoughts or feelings on the matter at all. I wouldn’t just randomly bring it up but if I’m asked I’ll be honest. I honestly couldn’t give a damn if anyone has a problem with my opinion it’s my right & nobody has the right to never be offended

Depends. With all of my close female friends I'm very open. They either share my views or enjoy the debate. I've noticed more men tend to be twaw than women and ive ended up in a serious late night spat over it with one friends husband. I suppose it doesn't really affect them and they think it's progressive.

I work for a woke public sector company and the EDI policy is all about anti racism and respecting people who present differently. I am completely eye-rolling now. Most of my colleagues say to me privately that it's bollocks. But we can't say it loudly or we get sent to EDI training and face disciplinary proceedings.

Our EDI policy actually promotes pronouns in email signatures but in my area of the company no-one bothers. I have loads of LGB colleagues but most thing the trans movement are a noisy, well-funded group of gaslighters so there you have it.

I don't think it comes up very often irl, since I rarely visit my office. I sadly could not join the work ( big corp, IT ) diversity and inclusion webinar, due to it being at school pickup time. I'm happy enough with a rainbow lanyard tbf but pronouns no. I do not have a gender, I do not need you to do extra mental work to remember how to address me, lucky you.
My social media friends include a lot of TWAW. People can think what they want, and facespook is not a place I am going to get in an argument. That would get ugly real quick, and I do not need it.

Blimey.

Someone who is a friend on Facebook (id hesitate to call him a real friend now, not because I don't like him but because really we barely knew each other, met twice several years ago) has asked for ideas on how to accommodate the tiny number of respondents in his research surveys who don't believe in gender identity as separate from sex.

I'm genuinely not brave enough even to say 'offer an option for Sex, and an option of None for gender identity' as even knowing how to accommodate these views would out me on FB.

(While being such a coward, I have to say that I think it's a perfectly reasonable question, but the answers are hilariously dumb. But hey, they're happy to say them out loud, which puts them ahead of me.)

I know that - it is what she called herself when she was a teen - she refused to be referred to as a girl.

Now she knows she is very much a women - we’ve always known she is/was a girl/women - I also know and she does that she would be a women if she had a girlfriend.

I was just trying to explain how HER views have changed since she’s grown up.

I lost one friend of 25 years simply by stating on twitter that I stood with JKR. That was a bit of a shock and after that I was more cautious and tend to only discuss it IRL if someone else brings it up first and I avoid ranting like I know it all. On the whole it seems that most people aren’t going to ditch me as a friend even if we don’t perfectly see eye to eye. I see little point in trying to convince people because I think this issue has to affect you directly before you work it out. And more and more people are working it out for themselves.

My experience is that its split. There are those who are full GC who tend to be careful in approaching the subject. I've seen a lot more of those recently. More and more people are very cautiously approaching the subject and seeing how people react.
Then there are those who are still a bit confused by all of it but want to 'be kind'. I've noticed a lot more backing away from them, but it's more backing away from the TRA side. I've got a couple of full on TRAs in my friend circle and I've noticed that they're being avoided. It's rarely about trans issues, but I've had more of the 'be kind' types quietly admit things like 'I do like Jane but she's hard work'.
Then there are the TRAs. They're still going strong but they tend to self-exclude. I've seen a good few post publicly about having to block friends for being 'terfs'. What they don't seek to realise is that behaviour is so toxic that other friends are starting to distance themselves too.
I'm not sure how this will keep going. It feels like more and more people are cautiously approaching the subject and wanting to discuss it, but the gender extremists have no idea because they're not only desperately staying in their bubble by cutting off anyone with a different opinion, but people are avoiding them too.

Busy starting quiet conversations with friends and colleagues. Family know my position and although second DD (17) doesn't agree with me, she also won't argue about it and it doesn't affect our relationship. I have peaked many people and I am proud of that. I believe patience and persistence and quiet undermining will help sense win out, eventually. Or climate change will get us first!

I have not always stood by my principles, but with age, maturity and financial stability feel that the time has come to stop making excuses for myself. No point admiring the suffragettes and modern examples like Maya et al if I can't do my tiny bit. If work suffers, so be it. But I am in the luxury position of being able to say this; I get that not everyone is.

@duvetonathunderynight I am so sorry about what happened to you and that you are still dealing with it with no support, and little validation of your pov, by the sounds of it. I hope you find a suitable therapist to help.

My main sadness is that I couldn't consider teaching at my training college. I already know it's Stonewallified, although not as bad as some.

There's a character who IDs as a female therapist one day and a male one the next.

No way am I putting myself in harm's way where it would be impossible for me to keep my big gob shut.

What are my pronouns when he/she asks?

"You're/kidding?"

Nope. I'm open with my views. I refuse to be scared. It's not a constant topic of conversation in my personal life but I won't lie about how I feel if it comes up
I only work p/t and don't 'need' to work, so if I lost my job because of my views it wouldn't be the end of the world. Although I'd be pretty quick to remark on my views being worthy of respect in a democratic society. But work are pretty quiet about it all, no need for pronouns on email sigs or name badges. I'd refuse that too. TWAM.

1. She was always a girl/woman. That never changed.

2. She would still be a woman if she had a girlfriend.

Very much hidden apart from on anon forums and discords etc. I'm afraid I'd basically be hounded out of my job if I spoke about it.

I've taken the school on about it. So I can't pretend I think TWAW even if I wanted to.

I have made it very clear that this is because I find the whole notion of "gender" extended sexist. And that I am not homophobic or right wing in any way. I am hoping this will embolden others.

Have met some people who agree with me but are quieter about it. And then some religious / homophobic types too. But you know, they're all entitled to their views imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

Same about HE. I’m on a gold band stonewalled one. I’m pretty sure they know I am after an EDI meeting where I said PCs are supposed to be private so all people are treated the same.

It got followed by a young woke female colleague chanting the virtues of pronouns and two of my team saying yah that’s the right thing to do. So it might have back fired but it was a team of 14. The others were poker face waiting for the agenda to move on. I have adopted the poker face. I can recognise the signs?

I'm pretty quiet in real life becausea lot of the time it really isn't relevant or needed to go stamping in. I say the most personally specific views i have whrn it seems relevant. What's interesting is that people who believe they are TWAW mostly just haven't thought about it.

My dp for example knew before we went to a recent party that one of the kids has transitioned (i didn't inform him specially but it had come up before). Afterwards he asked if the boy had been there. I said yes, he was the one sitting on the next blanket. He simply couldn't believe that the person involved is trans because he's exactly what he's always been, an adolescent girl who looks like an adolescent girl. Name and pronouns have changed, that's it. I didn't harangue dp about it, what would be the point? Much better to just say the absolute minimum and let people make up their own minds. If I'm asked, simply listing the people I know who are trans tends to make a few GC points very clearly.

I'm just adding my name to those who are scared to be openly GC because they work in HE - it's depressing to see how many of us there are

I'm reasonably open about it with family and some friends, including a close group of friends who are all very GC. But I'm far too scared to say anything at work because I genuinely think I would lose my job (it's an area of research that is vaguely related).

I'm very lucky. My GF is generally GC although believes if a guy has rearranged his furniture away from the house, that the female label is at least negotiable...I'm not sure she knows about our inglorious self-castrator at Trans Pride. However, it's a subject I now rarely bring up with her because, well, I'm so animated about it. She prefers a quiet pint, pie and a football match to talking politics.

Her extended family is generally GC, but I've learnt not to go prying. We see each other so rarely there's no point. All my friends, work colleagues (therapists who meet up), and majority of clients, are mild or full on GC, and those customers who aren't, there's no reason to stir the pot. There would be no resolution to be had, and likely a complaint to my governing body.

So, I'm getting away with it. But I also won't walk away from an argument. If someone I know or even passing acquaintance (clients excluded) brings it up, and displays a TWAW attitude, I'll dive in with my Size 12s.

Certainly posting here, amongst like minded allies, is hugely therapeutic. Talking about therapy, I was also lucky that the CBT person I picked to help me negotiate my feelings and reactions on this was pretty much a GC/material reality person.

The trouble is, that keeping your trap shut isn't enough for these nut jobs. And yes, it IS nuts to construct an entirely new version of reality, which is not reality, then aggressively gaslight society institution by institution into accepting that it IS reality, and that actual reality is thus not only an illusion, but a heresy which must be suppressed at all costs.

NUTS. And dangerous nuts, at that.

No, keeping your own counsel isn't good enough when you work for a stupidly captured institution like our supposedly 'intelligent' higher education sector. Using someone's name of choice isn't sufficient. Your participation is actively demanded. You're expected to declare your belief in The One True Religion in thought, word and deed. You're expected to agree that J K Rowling is a hideous human being. You're expected to emblazon pronouns everywhere, signal your allyship in email signatures with pretty rainbow pictures - that's in addition to pronouns - sport rainbow lanyards and announce your pronouns in meetings. It isn't enough merely to 'respect' other people's preferred modes of address (much less remember them all). You're actively asked for you view, and it damned well better be the view your interrogator is expecting. (No). You're expected to signal your participation in the game and play by The Rules if you know what's good for you.

To quote George Orwell, 'nothing was your own, except the few cubic centimetres inside your skull'. It's a sentence that chimed in my ears with horror when I first read it. Now, in 2023, it seems like a luxury. The fuckers want that as well.

The complete takeover of human beings by body and mind has a word. Totalitarianism. Dictatorship is positively mild by comparison with this dangerous, insidious human autonomy-grab.

As you can tell, I'm extremely angry and pissed off about this, not to mention wearied by the tedium of it all. I don't give a flying fuck if any supposed 'friends' decide to take a hike because of it. If they're willing to throw women's rights to the sharks then we're obviously incompatible.

They can do an ODFOD.

My husband and children are well aware that I expect single sex spaces for woman to remain single sex, based on biology not feelings.
However my SIL has just announced that her son is trans and has been for two years. They live abroad and as far as we can see when FaceTiming still looks male. My PIL don’t know yet but DH has asked me not to mention my concern re single sex spaces or my concern that a disproportionate number of young trans people are autistic (DN is autistic ) or that DN could damage his body and sex life with hormones. DH thinks it will cause unnecessary upset to his parents if I do.

I am a woman with concerns but I have to keep my mouth shut for the sake of family harmony.

I wouldn't say I hide them under a bushel but I do hide them behind faux ignorance. The 'ooh silly me but I don't quite understand' stuff is annoying, mainly because I'm not an idiot and don't like acting daft, but I've found it doesn't get people's backs up and actually makes people think when they attempt to explain it to me.

Most recently with Stonewall training at my place of work (with vulnerable children) in order to get an inclusivity award, asking 'sorry I'm obviously misunderstanding something here but the reasons we separate children for sports/changing rooms etc still exist even when a child is trans. Could you just explain again how we address that?' Etc etc. I have to admit was satisfying when it became clear the trainer was unable to provide an answer that other people could get on board with.

I am open about my views to family and to long-standing friends. DH feels the same as I do. The interesting thing is how many friends/family who were initially 'oh no, that can't be right' or 'be kind' in response have over the past 4-5 years woken up to the extremes of what's happening. A family member's child has gone to secondary and won't use the school loos because they're all mixed sex. That's changed her view. A friend's teenage daughter is an excellent sportswoman and he now 'gets' it when he didn't at all a few years back when his daughters were younger when I was ranting about Girl Guiding

I'm cautious at work because I work in HE. I don't have pronouns in my work email signature, and I don't wear the rainbow/trans lanyard. But I have quiet muttered conversations with colleagues when particular issues come up now and again a la Handmaid's Tale MayDay referenced on another thread. It doesn't really come up often though, as most of the time we're talking about what we did at the weekend and other social chat rather than going for anything controversial. I also don't declare my political leanings for the same reason - it's my workplace. I think there is an assumption by HE activists that everyone is TWAW in the same way that they assume everyone votes Labour/LibDem/Green, whereas I think there are more divergent views. It's just that the usual shouty UCU voices are the only ones heard publicly.

Because women lose their jobs over it? It's not about shame. It's about the TRA side destroying women's livelihoods.