Does anyone feel less inclined these days to wear makeup and skirts or dresses due to the focus on femininity as what defines woman?

OP I know what you mean, but in a different way.

I was brought up to look attractive. I could say that that just made me feel good, but my mother didn't decide all by herself what was attractive, that was determined by society and designed to be attractive to men (unless lesbians are running the fashion and beauty world?). So I was brought up to look good for men. I didn't wear clothes I didn't like, but I also didn't wear clothes that made me feel "unattractive". And the idea of "letting myself go" would mean not being put together in a way men would find unattractive. It was definitely a Bad Thing.

A few months I gave birth for the first time it dawned on me that "being feminine" was usually in contrast to "being masculine" and that was all a load of bollocks because I'd just grown and birthed a human! It was a messy, powerful, and in my case, wonderful experience. It wasn't in any way "feminine" in the way that's commonly meant, it was far too full of power for that.

My dressing started to change after that. I haven't worn anything with a flower on since then. I see another dress in a shop with dainty flowers on and sigh. I love flowers, but only in the ground. Btw I don't care in the slightest if other women like wearing flowers, I don't even notice. It's only if they're for me.

Nowadays though I am very aware of the messages my children are receiving so I wear makeup some days, don't other days (and if my face "looks like it needs colour", well that's a shame for the onlooker, but I'm fine), I wear dresses and I wear trousers, I wear sloppy clothes and I wear more put together ones. I wear jewellery and I don't wear it.

It's personally very nice to not give a shit and wear what I feel like wearing, but I want my children to see that women can present any which way and the same woman can wear whatever she wants and she's still a woman. It's not performative - now that I'm not remotely trying to look "good" aka attractive to men, I'm not giving it up for anybody - but I am aware of it and I think it's an added bonus for my kids.

I'm also aware when I meet a friend who insists her daughter is her son because she likes "masculine" things (jewellery making, drawing, going with her dad to the pub!) including "men's" clothes, that the woman she's sitting opposite to is often wearing a far more "masculine" ensemble than her daughter ever is. I'm also not dressing for her either, but I'm definitely more aware of things like that these days. I can't say for sure it never influences me, because it's on my mind at times, but it doesn't drive how I dress.

Sad?? For giving herself to a righteous cause? The second wave looked beyond their own comfort and we have a lot to thank them for.

No because I never bought into all this 'women are conditioned by society to wear heels/makeup/dress like a princess. because they can't think for themselves'

But it can be said every person on the planet is conditioned to do everything they do so I just meet a basic society standard ie I wear acceptable work clothes and am happy with that

“I’ve not let myself go” and “I’m (not) letting part of myself go” have different meanings in English.

The second would mean allowing a part of yourself change the first definitively implies deterioration. So to phrase it that way is to imply others on the thread who have changed from wearing skirts and makeup to trousers and no makeup are allowing themselves to deteriorate.

It’s a phrase often used about other people who are considered to have stopped looking after themselves properly and have become dirty or so careless about their appearance that it’s a bit grim.

So perhaps you didn’t understand that phrase properly, @Fluffycloudsblusky but it holds an clear implication that you think women who don’t wear makeup and dresses or skirts are inferior and not making enough effort.

I have never been big on dresses or makeup and now I’m older, applying makeup in a way that satisfies me is now beyond my (always limited) skills. I also completely abandoned skirts and dresses when I left my marriage, because I was reclaiming who I once was, so no, I don’t think the focus on femininity defining womanhood has made a significant difference to me, but I understand why it might.

Sorry clicked to soon 🙄. It does make me stop and think about what I'm wearing sometimes which I never did before which is worrying as clothing is very important to me. I feel that this trans shit show is beginning to derail who I am .

I like to wear feminine dresses / hair / makeup and always will but even when I dress down it's pretty obvious I am a women .Men who wear dresses look exactly that .... Men wearing dresses / Men in drag.
Just like clowns , a face full of over the top makeup and just as fucking creepy !

Right?

Wear what you like”normally means “wear something so others recognise you”
Does it? To me it means wear what you like.
Not what others think I should wear.
I dont think I know anyone who wouldn't think that.

Maybe not you but most women don’t exist in a vacuum . Hence the white trainers and dress look or long hair or lip fillers for example.

“Wear what you like”normally means “wear something so others recognise you”. This is why trans women favour looking like sex workers and transmen favour anti style rather than channelling Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

No. I wear skirts & dresses because it's summer and they are much cooler. I also wear shorts, or jeans when chilly weather. I still wear makeup too when I want to.

Drag queens don't dress like women, they dress as stage caricatures, and are irrelevant to normal women going about their daily lives.

I can count on my hands the number of times I've worn makeup, and I stopped shaving in my early 20s when I realised how stupid it all was.

I do like wearing dresses/skirts, though, but I think my fashion tastes differ somewhat from the dresses of drag queens and such like -- in that it actually exists.

Nope,I won't be erased as a woman.

Your post is confusing.
Wear what you like. As long as you keep sufficiently covered up. (Ok, fair enough, but who gets their vag out or goes around topless in public usually? Unless you meant we should be covering up full stop)
What drag queens do or dont wear has no bearing on me and what I do.

I find this a really sad comment (genuinely)
Why be angry, hairy legged, no make up etc just as a fuck you to the patriarchy?!
I'm hairy legged and never wear make up as I could not give a shiny shit what others think. It's what I am comfortable with. No one else.

Hmm, maybe slightly prompted me into another short hair phase; it's something I do every decade or so anyway. Never did makeup/heels/nails or any of that in the first place.
But also, no they can sod off I'm not going to conform religiously to opposite sex stereotypes any more than I'm going to conform religiously to femininity. If I feel like wearing a skirt in summer I will. The point is that stereotypes are crap and nobody should be defined by them.

I still enjoy ‘dressing up’ and wearing dresses and make up. But I also have down days where I dress totally for comfort (usually gym leggings and trainers and hoodie), no make up and don’t think about how I look at all.

Either way, I’m a woman. That’s the difference. I don’t need a costume to define what I am. It’s biological, innit!

I wear exactly what I've always worn, dresses, trousers, crops. I love a bit of makeup and I get my roots and eye lashes dyed regularly. I have all sorts of skincare that I use regularly.

I do it all for me. I don't have to prove anything to anyone and I won't be changing my ways because some random people choose to live as the opposite sex.

I’m unconsciously a bit of a tomboy. I just have my own style and am feminine in my own way. I cut my hair quite short recently and I prefer it for now. But I don’t think it’s because I’m deliberately trying to do anything. It’s almost a bit difficult to stick with just being me sometimes. A lot of women have the full works: eyebrows & nails at the salon, full make up and balayage. I think they look great, but I don’t have the patience for it all.

Mysteriousgirl2 · Yesterday 22:34
@Thatgirl1981 is your image on the left a sex worker type one too? Just out of interest as it’s the type of outfit I would wear.

No, I think the point she was making is that the one the left is just a dress for a woman.

But on the right is a dress for a drag version of woman.

Yes, I know what you mean.

The other day too I was horrified watching an ITV children’s advertisement of little girls with certain doll sets: the little girls and the dolls and toys all looked like a kind of ‘drag’ to me.

Tbh I think that's a bit sad. Completely GC but think you need to reassess. I have never ever let men or society dictate what I wear and I will not start now.
I never have followed fashion unless I want to. Was what was called a Tom boy (hate the term) when everyone else was in high heels and blue eyeshadow. Now wear what I want
I most certainly wouldn't let anyone else make me change what I wear. Don't let anyone rule you in this way.

No the image on the right is a drag queen

I actually have the dress of the left in green I was trying to point out what drag queens and these men coz playing as women we’re are not feminine their sexual male fantasy of how a woman should dress

I don't think I've hugely changed how I dress but I'm more conscious of what I do about performing femininity now. I feel a bit worse about participating in any of it but I still do some - hair removal, hair dye etc. It's like being a teenager and worrying that people think that I think I'm attractive.

No I haven't changed. I haven't ever been interested in wearing makeup, wearing skirts/dresses, heels, handbags etc. I have cut my hair shorter but that was because I got swimming regularly and I couldn't be arsed with longer hair any more (not that I did anything with it before other than a permanent pony tail.

I understand your resistance to "womanhood" being reduced to a performance though. Even though it was never one I excelled at.

I don't see this as "letting myself go" as per the previous comment though. Recently I'm looking after my body wrt to food, exercise and sleep better than I ever did before.

I just don't have the time or inclination for the trappings of femininity. I'm too busy being an adult human female.

No it is not. Not all people have to be the same. Some of us like makeup and some of us do not. I like to look a certain way and if I do not look that way for myself I feel I am letting part of myself go.