Does anyone feel less inclined these days to wear makeup and skirts or dresses due to the focus on femininity as what defines woman?

Thanks for posting this clip! I love Meryl Streep in that film, and what she says is spot on.

I always have this clip from The Devil Wears Prada in my head when I’m having discussions like this… there’s no escape! None of us are dressing ‘for ourselves’ in a vacuum - we’re all either subscribing to or deliberately deciding not to subscribe to the current zeitgeist. The trouble is that the drag style has become part of that zeitgeist….?

Eyebrows and pumped up lips and false eyelashes… (god - look at the Apprentice for example)

as a young woman I used to step back from wearing extravagant or eye catching outfits to draw attention. Couldn’t care less now - I have coloured hair, wear metallics and bright colours, try to buy what I like - but I’m aware I’m always influenced - and I do look like what I am (middle aged arty leftie white woman)

Isn't the wide cargo pants and crop tops just the 90s/00s being back in fashion? My youngest DD has thoroughly embraced this look recently, and it's a look I favoured in my late teens/early 20s.

You can be feminine with out make up

drag queens with it shovelled on don’t like femnine

The one on the right is how many women looked in the 80's particularly on a night out.

Myself, I’m a bit of a chameleon but with a recognisable personal style. I’m not above dressing a certain way if it makes it more likely I can get what I want. There are things that are more important than authentic self-expression, IMHO.

Just to add, as it happens my style isn't particularly feminine at the moment. I've not worn a dress for several years and I rarely wear make up. But I've certainly done so in the past and I'll do it again in the future if it takes my fancy. I enjoy getting dressed and playing around with how I look enormously.

i'm also very rebellious.....

Cow is an approprriate username for me becaue physically I am quite bovine.

The person I am inside and my body type are two quite different creatures. I have a very 'womanly' figure, involving large breasts and wide hips; though I do have slim calves, shoulders, back and neck - so my curves are balanced out my some slimmer, more 'elegant' physical features.

I dress according to what I think suits my body shape. If I had a different figure then I'd definitely be dressing differently to the way I do, which tends to be knee length skirts, vests and shirts. Aesthetics matter to me. In my mnd I am slim hipped and long legged with small breasts. Alas, not in reality.

Most of my life I've had short hair - and it is always my go to when I want to 'feel most like myself' I wear minimal make-up ( mascara/light eyeshadow). I get my eyebrows waxed and tinted - because they do make a differnce to the framing of the face - and they have gone white quicker than my head hair.

I get highlights twice a year - so that when the grey/white really does come through it will blend in more. I've always had pierced ears, and I love pendants ( stones of all type).

I move quite gracefully and due to my hips, I have a 'womanly' walk.

Thank you Neverinamonthofsundays and TheirEminence. I've shared that story a couple of times before on this board and this is the first time I can remember anyone acknowledging it.

Aside from the very good reasons to dress/be as we want, I do think in humans there is a tendency to ‘hairshirtism’. When the world gets too much for us and we’re faced with too much choice, it’s, ironically, comforting to say, “I don’t do this” and “I don’t do that” and “I just this” and so on.

I think we’re all trying to find a way to really live and not just exist from our middle age till death. For some that means bring their authentic unadorned self. Others feel they’ve just existed and now want to go full on adorned, hence new interest in make up, clothes etc in middle age.

Thank you for answering, Floisme. It sounds like you were at the receiving end of an upsetting and toxic group dynamic.

No I'm not having men, yet again, impact on how I feel about my appearance and how I dress and finally no, they look like men anyway.

No to the question. I am eexperimenting more with make upthan before. I have had my brows microbladed and powdered ( i love it, its subtle and not the high arched look a lot of the younger women have) and im having permanent eyeline done in a few weeks.
I love wearing dressess and have AX Paris, Sondor
and Reiss dressess as my go to ones. I wear my hair long and highlighted with Ash and honey colours.
This is how I feel comfortable.

I wear make up if I'm in the house alone reading a book, doing house work or watching a film.
I don't want to change and it never occurred to me to do do.
I'm 58.

Quite, who gives a fuck what men say about what women should wear?

@Neverinamonthofsundays yes I hate this, often it's from women who like to also say women should wear what they want (although they really mean as long as it stays within what they deem as acceptable).

It always seems to be women knocking other women down. Sorry you went through that.

And thank you for asking TheirEminence.

I'm afraid I left in tears and never went back 

I can laugh about it now but it still pisses me off. I was only 18 or 19 and it was my first experience of a women's group.

How did you deal with it, Floisme?

I've certainly been judged and made to feel unwelcome in the past because of how I was dressed. The people doing the judging were feminists.

Oh I know full well other people judge. I was told by someone last year who went to great pains to tell me she does not ever wear makeup that 'we will work on your self security' like I wear makeup because I am insecure in myself. I am not in the least. I do often leave the house without it on, it is not a suit of armour for me I just like it on me. Thing is I do not look at other people and judge them. I would not have even noted that womans bare faced look as it means nothing to me how other people present themselves. Maybe I am just far too vain and only think of myself lol

That’s not what PocketSand is saying, she was making the point that no matter what our own motivations are, those around us will potentially put great significance on how female people choose to dress, and if they have poor respect for women’s boundaries, they will even feel entitled to make demands on what female people wear. Some people do seem to have more feelings of entitlement than others.

It’s all very well to say ‘I dress for no one but myself’ but unless you live as a hermit, others will judge you in some way or other. That judgment will always say something about the person who is doing the judging. How we deal with this is up to us.

If you have a contrarian personality, you might enjoy dressing in unfeminine ways in the company of males who have strong feelings about how women ought to dress. Or you may choose to please these men. Or you may pretend there’s nothing going on but the trouble is, as many on this board know, what once is seen cannot be unseen.

I'm almost 40 with greys I don't dye, so I don't look like a teenage boy. I could wear a boys size 14 so maybe at a distance, wearing a sports bra under a hoodie, maybe! However, this has happened face to face while giving my obviously female name in an obviously female voice to collect parcels. Not just one server either.

So we now have to stop being ourselves entirely because some blokes fancy trying to pass as us is that correct?

Even if I did not wear makeup and heels I could never be mistaken for a man. I do not have the physique of a man, I have very feminine features etc however I embrace my feminine looks and like to enhance them as I see fit to do so. I am currently sitting here with a full body tan on about to shower the excess of it off while I apply purple shampoo and conditioner to my highlighted hair and will shave all of my body hair off while doing so. This is something I do believe it or believe it not, for myself once a week. I love the feeling of looking a certain way and I have never even asked my partner his views on it. Clearly he likes it as he still finds me attractive but I have never asked his input into whether he has issue with the tan or the completely bald body etc as it is my body to do what I fancy with.