How does this place view single and celibate women

were really keen to explain to her that she was mistaken about her sexuality, must have suffered some kind of trauma or was going through a phase. It’s really not the case that people accept asexuality.

To be fair this is common with any aspect of human behaviour, not just sexuality or lack of.
Off the top of my head I can think of tons of examples ranging from having an autistic child to declining a piece of cake.
It’s very human to try to analyse why one human is different to you. It’s wise to ignore it and not let it dictate your life.

Well speaking for myself I find people who tell me they are asexual every bit as annoying as people who tell me they are very sexual people. I absolutely do not want to know about the sex life of anyone other than those I am having sex with.

Which thread?

Could you quote or link to the posts where people told her she was wrong, that it was just a phase, or was traumatised? Thanks.

So many on this thread are insisting that asexuality is no big deal, that nobody cares, big shrug etc.

And yet, on the recent thread started by someone asexual there were umpteen posts from people who were really keen to explain to her that she was mistaken about her sexuality, must have suffered some kind of trauma or was going through a phase. It’s really not the case that people accept asexuality.

They usually don’t.

It’s almost as if they feel starting the thread is some sort of mic drop and their job (of showing what vile harpies the women of FWR are) is done.

There is no group "you". Just individuals with differing opinions. We are not an organisation with a party line and people being whipped to toe it.

You seem to think that the average poster posting here hates people who don't have sex. I cannot fathom why you have come to that conclusion. I don't think asexuals face discrimination nor need any specific protection like sexual orientation has in the Equality Act for example. What would be a constructive discussion would be for you to explain why you think asexuals do face discrimination, what form that takes and how the Equality Act could be extended to protect them.

Women who don't have sex through choice or circumstance are as welcome in feminism as any other women, and I think feminists would be particularly understanding of heterosexual/bisexual women who have chosen not to engage in sexual relationships with men. It's a pretty common aspect of women's history and women's struggle to forge their own identities independent of men.

You say " IRL a self-proclaimed feminist (and happens in other situations too) bullied a person who was a virgin. Why was that seen as an okey thing to do?" - why are you asking people here? I have no idea what you're talking about. Bullying is wrong, clearly, for whatever the reason!

About as much interest as they showed in including actual evidence of their claims of widespread bullying of virgins across a variety of feminist spaces 😒

OP is showing remarkably little interest!

Don't care.

surely if someone is so unhappy about feeling different because they don’t want to be in a monogamous sexual relationship, the answer is for them to get some individual therapy to be happier in themselves.

Why does there need to be some big focused campaign around affirming asexuality or whatever?

There is a weird, obsessive, cult-like devotion to defining every single tiny variant of human behaviour as an identity , and centering sex, or lack of it, as all important.

You said this so much better than I did!

I think part of the issue is the inconsistency, of the campaigning ones anyway. They insist they’re discriminated against and proclaim that it’s fine to be asexual and not have sex nor want it (which it is) but then you also get people saying it’s normal for asexual people to have sex and be horny.

It does seem to be a common theme - create flags for every single different situation (aro/ace etc as a pp said) but then not want to exclude people so the differentiations become meaningless.

I don’t like the currant trend of labelling aspects of one’s personality.
Surely, like most other things in life, human behaviour (sexual or otherwise) falls on a bell curve. Whilst some people have no sex drive, there will be the other extreme.
It seems rather self centred to assign labels to yourself and assume that others should be interested to learn about it.

I’ve seen the whole identity thing compared to neurodivergent disabilities, but I disagree that they’re similar. Knowing someone has a disability means that reasonable adjustments can be made, no such adjustments need to be made for someone because they don’t have sex, so why does anyone need to know?

@Superfood that's dreadful that school didn't that. I agree with what you said. Someone's sexuality is private and should remain so. I don't get the need to be labelling all feelings and using them as an identity. Our private lives should be just that-private.

I mean seriously. Look at this shite. From the BBC. How does this in any way help the political cause of feminism?

Demisexuality, which falls on the asexuality spectrum, differs from simply wanting to wait for a deep bond to form before having sex with someone; rather, it’s more akin to the experience of being asexual until that type of connection forms, at which point the sexual attraction extends only to that person. For allosexuals, on the other hand (people who aren’t on the asexual spectrum), waiting to have sex until forming a deep connection is more of a preference, and less of necessity to developing sexual desire.

www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20211101-why-demisexuality-is-as-real-as-any-sexual-orientation

We all have feelings about our lives and the way they do or don't function in relation to how we perceive others to feel or function. That's not unique to people who adopt the label of asexual. But most people tend not to centre these feelings and turn them into an identity.

The year 7 art club at my children's secondary school spent pride month carefully designing flags which defined demisexual, aro/ace, pan, etc etc etc. Not exaggerating, there were about 16 different flags.

These are 11/12 year olds. The vast majority of them have no sexual experience whatsoever. I'd say they are significantly less mature in that way than my peers were 30 years ago.

There is a weird, obsessive, cult-like devotion to defining every single tiny variant of human behaviour as an identity , and centering sex, or lack of it, as all important.

I don't care if my friends and family are having sex with one person, loads of people, no people, every day, once a year, or never. Why would I? Why would anyone make this the focal point of talking about themselves or anyone else?

Sorry I think i read the post wrong, read it too quickly

Single and celibate doesn't necessary mean the same as asexual though. Asexuals never experience sexual attraction. That's different to people just choosing not to have sex for a while.

"Single and celibate" is fine but I've seen a lot of posters take umbrage at the use of the label "asexual". I think partly because of the trend to label everything and claim it as an identity, and partly because they see celibacy (or lack of interest in sex) in others as something of minor significance and not worthy of a name.

A lot of posters lack empathy in comprehending the visceral feeling of not being like other people because all around you are displays of relationships/coupledom/sex being the norm. There was a poster not too long ago who took the trouble to write considered explanations of their experiences and feelings - some posters got it but others still shrug off the notion with common replies of "I don't care whether other people have sex or not so why should they feel bad about themselves" or "Well I was celibate for x years between relationships and didn't feel the need to label it, so why should anyone else".

I don't know anything about feminists bullying virgins so can't answer that one.

I'm asexual and no I don't think we are an oppressed group! People who say we are just bring hate our way.

Why are people so desperate for the whole world to know they don’t want to have sex recently?

is this something that requires massive fanfare? Why should anyone care?

I think this. My hobby group, which is a physical hobby and nothing related to sex or anything, recently announced they were a safe and welcoming place for various groups including asexuals. The asexual bit did strike me as there is no way the group could ever be an unsafe place for someone who doesn’t want sex. No one would ever know or be bothered. I think asexual can be a handy label for people to describe themselves to themself or others when required ( if dating, say) but I cannot see how asexual people are in any way an oppressed group.

'This place' is more interesting in. discussing issues related to sex ( as in biological fe/male) and gender. Sexual practice or celibacy would only be discussed if it cropped up in relation the these broad topics.

Identity labels that tend to be associated with the LGBTQ+ are often rigoropusly challenged and tested. And as 'asexual' is now an 'offical' identity - that gets challenged too.