Male and Gender Critical

I am not convinced that Asexual hasn't been added to the Alphabet Soup People to further confound all the issues.

So, looking at the Alphabet soup now:

L - Lesbians - anyone whose gender is female being attracted to anyone else whose gender is female [so males or females]

G - Gays- anyone whose gender is male being attracted to anyone else whose gender is male [so males or females]

B - Bi - Anyone attracted to anyone [so males or females]

Trans - anyone who says they are trans

Asexuals - anyone who says they do not want sex or do not have [a] sex

I - intersex - anyone who says they are intersex or have a DSD

So LGB has moved away from same sex attraction to become anyone who wants attention for whatever reason to do with sex, no sex and anything in between.

Yes, htis double standard is an interesting feature. You see it with newsreaders too. The men are always more formally dressed, but often the women have their arms exposed, or sometimes even their cleavage. Personally think that looks quite conspicuous and even 'unprofessional' - and also highlights the way that women are primarily judged on their looks and their body and so are given a freer and wider range of clothing items.

Clothing is often the primary means of creative expression for many women, and they devote a lot of time and energy to buying clothes and make-up.

Women going to the office in high heels ( and sometimes short skirts) is considered standard prcatice, and now and then you even hear of companies that actively request that female staff wear heels. I think we all know of the sexual overtones associated with high heels.

Female pop stars often have the minimal clothing too. Clothing which draws attention to their legs, breasts and bottom, and which accompanies highly sexually suggestive dance moves.

You seem always to have started from the conclusion that everyone who post on this particular board is heterosexual, married and with children. Why is that?

I'm not familar with your username, so maybe you are new ti this board - but what irks people here, especially, about identity labels is that they tend to be assocuiated with the LGBTQ+ community with its ever expanding number of identities - all with their own flag. Young people ( I know you are not young) tend now to fel they have to have a label for every aspect of their personality, character or being.

The queer community ( you say you don't see yourself as apart of theis'community') revolves around identities linked to sex or sexuality - making sexual orinetation the central defining feature of their life. The identities are also politicised; tghey are not neutral.

Are you on the autistic spectrum ( genuine question) as people who are can often experience difficulties in forming relationships.

Youarenotbatman's posts leap from one height of hyperbole to the next. It should be clear in the responses to those posts that no one cares.

And I don't have time for feigned stupidity
.Yet here we are.

@TinselAngel & @AlisonDonut , the comment was for Hepwo, it made no sense.

@QueenHippolyta
I was talking to those people who thinks asexuals should just stay silent and never talk about themselves (or at least this part of them) and sit there silently, when others get to talk about themselves just fine.

That’s what I think most asexuals want, to just be able to be who they are in peace.
Hopefully one day asexuality will be more known and accepted and I can be honest with the people I care about.
Right now everyone in my life just think I love being single (I don’t) so I don’t have anyone to talk to and have any support.
People wouldn’t understand.

Thanks for calling me normal, though, usually - on this matter - I get screamed at how abnormal I am. They way your comment started, I though you were heading that way too, well you did, but it took a snap turn…

Unless you work at the council. For some reason they attract a lot of men who like to wear shorts and socks with sandals in the summer, especially in the highways department. Although my data is about fifteen years out of date!

And yet men make the rules!

Instead of changing those rules they line up behind men wanting to dress as women!

Go figure.

@YouAreNotBatman about 10-15years ago there was an asexual ( she said so) in my online social group. She seemed perfectly nice, not a leather bra in sight, but could not find a partner. Lesbians like sex; like most people.
So, join or start a real life and online social group for asexuals. Make friends and I hope you find a partner. If your friend asks why you are single. Feel free to say " I haven't met the right person in my asexual social group."

That's it, it's not terribly deep nor complex. You're not super special. Neither am I. Enjoy being a regular person; it's great.

(When I said "as far as uncomfortable and restrictive" clothing goes, this is the time of year when women have a distinct advantage over men"

It seems obviously true, but I'll answer anyway.

For any kind of formal situation, including most jobs, men are expected to wear shoes covering the entire foot, long trousers, full upper coverage, maybe a jacket, maybe a tie. Women can get by with a lot less--maybe sandals, bare legs (usually), short sleeves or no sleeves, lighter material everywhere. It makes for a major contrast in summer.

You know you are the Riddler in your particular scenario.

I've spelled out twice on this thread why I think "the asexuals can have sex" narrative is a thing.

I don’t have time or patience for riddles.

I was going to add that what really got people fired up, was the fact that she’s asexual.
This place really can’t stand asexuality, for whatever reason.

Whatever reason? You have come to a conclusion of what this place can't stand but can only say whatever about the reason for your conclusion?

Heck.

Thats’s like saying gay man only has and likes to have sex with women.

This is also happening. Although obviously far more normal for lesbians to be targeted by men.

Everyone hates vegans. We'll never have our own little flag lol

@YouAreNotBatman well again, you might want to gatekeep the meaning of asexual, but like woman and lesbian they've been targeted so they're open to interpretation now. Not by the people in fwr btw, just in case you'd like to pin it on us.

I'd suggest you think of who stands to gain by women having less and less boundaries. I'm married/I'm a lesbian/I'm asexual used to be a boundary that men couldn't cross. Except turn those things into a spectrum rather than an absolute and now you've got to come up with another reason for your boundary. And any woman over 12 knows how hard certain men push at boundaries.

I'd then ask you who do you think gains by conflating lack of sexual feelings(normal in childhood) with a sexual identity that has sex without having desire. Who stands to gain from blurring this boundary.

Queer theory is all about blurring boundaries. We need to start asking why.

Well that person and stonewall can go and sit on a cactus!
How dare they undo everything that has been tried to build so far!?
I don’t know what their agenda is, but this is no shape or form asexuality
Thats’s like saying gay man only has and likes to have sex with women.
Or going to a vegan restaurant and ask for meet and dairy.

Personally I think that was a deliberate act.

What do you mean?
To undermine asexuals? To make them a joke? To trying to get / force asexuals to have sex?
I know lot of people get angry at the thougjt of some people not having sex, but this is crazy!

I’ve never made any statements of it, no one IRL knows I’m asexual.

And even if I did TALK ABOUT IT, why not? I’m allowed to talk about myself. People have asked me why I’m single, all I do is shrug. But I would like to answer honetly: that dating as an asexual is bloody hard. Just like my friend, wothout asking tells me about their dating life, their sex lives (that I don’t want to hear about).
Why should asexuals lurk in the shadows?

This place has really made their minds up that anything non-straight-married-with-kids is making it all up for attention, when in reality it’s just PART of their lives.

Nobody is bothered about your lack of sexual feeling except for you.

I’m not bothered about my asexuality. Comments and ignorance like this does bother me.
And you can see just on this thread many are bothered about asexuality, it clearly written down.

Of course! I was told "come as you are".

I think a woman having sex without feeling sexual attraction isn't a rare occurrence.

Once upon a time I thought "progressive" sex education would spell an end to that. Lesbians would be free to come out earlier, and straight women empowered to say "no" in iffy situations and "no" to unsatisfying sex.

How stupid was I?

Did you go in bondage gear?

It's either a way of getting the generation of young people with no sexual function to have sex anyway, and/ or it means you can say to them "what does it matter if you have no sexual function, asexual people exist"

It's fucking terrifying.

I recall when girlguiding were pushing asexual on pre teens there was a sincere poster who said they absolutely had sex and it was part of her asexual identity. It was very wide eyed and earnest and she argued and argued and in no way could it have been a wind up.
I can't find the thread though. Think it was one that escaped into aibu because a lot of the aibu lot were rather confused and shocked by the revelations.

So yes, you're rather behind the times. Asexual has been coopted so it can be applied to grown adults who have sex and children and teens who don't.

Personally I think that was a deliberate act.

I do not know anything about that.
Asexuals don’t feel sexual attraction nor do they have sex.
Anyone saying anything else is a groomer/abuser/troll/idiot/absolutely not an asexual.

Take it up with Stonewall

"Asexuality should not be confused with celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sex, whereas for some asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. Those who do not experience sexual attraction may choose to have sex for other reasons."

www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/six-ways-be-ally-asexual-people

Years ago, I went to a London Pride event out of curiosity with a lesbian friend. It was fine but nothing that interested me enough to go back a second time.