Male and Gender Critical

No worries.

I’m not disparaging GC people. Just most GC males. Glinner, James Esses, Dennis Noel Kavanagh. I think they’re all knobs to be honest. Personally would like to see them go away and leave the fight to us.

Finally getting to the real issue.

Yes, which is why I added the correction to “not have sexual feelings towards others” rather than “not have sex”.

I missed that correction, Sabrina. Apologies

Glinner, Esses, Kavanaugh are the few brave men who speak out in support of women and children against the TRAs.
And certainly Glinner and Esses have suffered for it.
Kavanaugh is a staunch supporter of gays and lesbians who refuse to join the T.
They have this Lesbian's gratitude and respect for their bravery and care.

@Letmespeak82
She and you may have a special interpretation but she is in effect using symbols which already have meaning. Therefore neither she nor you can expect other people not to read them in the usual way and ascribe their usual meaning.

Do asexual people do it as a favour/service rather than for pleasure?

Yes, which is why I added the correction to “not have sexual feelings towards others” rather than “not have sex”.

There's "not wearing very much" and there's "wearing clothes of a sort designed specifically to sexualise the wearer", and it's pretty clear that this woman's outfit is of the second sort.

She seems a bit of an attention seeker all round, overly concerned at getting in with the cool kids ("asexual people belong at Pride"), bizarrely including her MSc in her twitter name, etc.

@Circumferences
I've seen her before and I also thought, she sounds like she has issues - and I mean that in a genuine compassionate way. I sense fear or some sort of anxiety.

Desperate to raise the age of consent. Or something.

I suspect she has not had a great life. And as a feminist, that is probably the part that is my business. Acknowledging that sexualisation of young women is harmful.

I’m pretty sure that people can quietly choose to not have sex without being worried about conversion therapy.

But that's the thing. Asexual people do have sex. Not all of them, but some do.

If you wear sexy clothes, especially if they are associated with a fetish, you are signalling that you are interested in sex, or that being seen as a sexual being is important to you. So contradicting the claim to be asexual.

And before you ask, of course that doesn't mean that anyone has the right to grab you or do anything to you to which you do not consent. You are signalling, via your clothes or pose, that you are interested in sex - but only in principle. Not necessarily now or with any particular individual. You may feel that you want to be seen as desirable while not actually ever wanting sex. That's great. But it's disingenuous to say that other people should not perceive you as sexual, or that you are just dressing how you like, or to look good, because there are many different ways to dress which are flattering and not overtly sexual.

As pps have said, clothes convey messages. Think of the statements pop stars, celebrities or royalty try to make with their choice of outfit. "I am sexy/interested in sex" is one such message that bondage gear sends so don't complain if it is received and understood that way. (And just to reiterate, you are not required to follow through.)

Would you go to a funeral in bondage gear? Or to collect an MBE? No, you would not. You would find another fantastic outfit which was more suitable.

I don’t know. That’s interesting. The only way to get any traction at the moment is to have an identity.
Only ever see her when she’s publicising the fight for asexual rights. Desperate to raise the age of consent. Or something.

I don't really get this conversation.

A woman wears sex-bondage gear while saying "I'm asexual"
A man says "if you're asexual don't wear bondage gear"
A randomer on the internet comes to Mumsnet to say GC people are in the wrong because of what some men say.
Replies on here say clothes do have meaning and also say women shouldn't be defined by their clothes, it's nuanced.

I really really don't get why GC women are being disparaged in this totally bizarre situation.

Yes women should support women.

This asexual woman wearing bondage sex gear is probably a little bit confused and deserves compassion.

Isn't she an underwear model of some sort?. I thought the asexual thing was part of USP to gain more followers

Should probably amend that to “not have sexual feelings towards others” rather than “not have sex”.

James clearly thinks her clothes means she’s sexually available.

He hasn't actually said that.

Wearing sexualised clothing is a strange way to say 'I don't like sex'. That's his point.

Ok OP, let us think... say you are walking home alone at night would you prefer to wear the dog collar, chains, tassels and leather bikini or would you like to take a heavy overcoat? Yes it's lovely to dress as you please, just for yourself, but this is a luxury belief.

What rights do asexual people not have?

I’m pretty sure that people can quietly choose to not have sex without being worried about conversion therapy.