Email pronouns - again

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/pronouns/

This is helpful I think, including this bit:
"People who consider themselves transgender but who haven’t taken steps to transition and are not ‘out’ can also find being asked for their pronouns upsetting"

If someone does encourage you to add your pronouns, you might also want to point out that you would be concerned that by doing so, you would potentially be discriminating against clients/colleagues whose gender critical views are protected as philosophical beliefs under the Equality Act, and you obviously wouldn't want to get the charity in any trouble for being discriminatory when being inclusive is so important to them.

I feel that many organisations don't realise how oppressive it is to their gender critical clients, service-users and employees to constantly tell us we're wrong in our beliefs and need to adopt gender ideology as the "right" way of thinking.

Because of the way these organisations have been captured, they still don't seem to even realise that gender ideology is just a belief system that not everyone subscribes to.

It's mad that the same organisations will make a huge effort not to refer to Christian holy days in their communications so as not to discriminate against non-Christians, but can't see the parallels between that and gender ideology.

I haven't bothered. One person mentioned it to me, but he has a unisex name, so I said I had a very female name, but it might help for him to do it so that people know he's a he and not a she. And that was the end of the conversation, he didn't push it with me.

Even if I were woke, it doesn't make any sense to me anyway. Surely if you are trans, you change your name from say Helen to Henry? Or vice versa?

I have nothing sensible to add, but @LaLaRaRaRaa , I ducking love your name.

I don’t put it on mine and no one ever asked or said anything. It would be very bizarre if they did. It is considered totally optional where I work.

That said if they do pull you up on it, and you really need the job, then I would add them just to avoid the conflict but I would then start looking for a job elsewhere if that actually happened.

Lack of hair is transphobic

Our balding, middle aged, married (to a woman) male boss with a name like Dave, put his he/him pronouns in his email. He invited everyone to do the same and nobody did. It was so cringey and looked so silly. An alien observer in our planet would have been scratching its head that there was literally any ambiguity as to whether Dave was a man or not.

'I have been asked under other circumstances and I said " I am post pronouns" ....then enjoyed the confused look on his face.'

Oh LOVELY! 😁

If I am ever challenged about it at work, I plan to say 'thats not a practice I follow' with a big smile. Either that or just 'no thank you', plus smile

I think I’ll just not do it. And hope no one says anything.

If they do say anything, turn it back on them:

You: Thanks for raising this, but I don't feel comfortable stating my pronouns

Them: oh, I know, it's just that when cis people do it..

You: I'm not cis

Them: oh..erm..

If they (are stupid and) keep pushing,

You: "so, just to clarify, are you telling ne that I must confirm my gender identity to you? What's the consequence if I don't? And is it policy that all employees must publicly state a specific gender identity upon request, regardless of their own personal circumstances and discomfort around doing so?"

Then ask them to confirm their position in writing over email so you can consider it further, as this is a very significant issue to you personally.

Love that!

I haven't been asked to do it for my main job, but have been asked in other, work-related contexts. I usually say something like, "It's not something I feel comfortable sharing", without elaborating as to why. No one has ever pushed further

It is but I've never been asked to do it, not even when I went to the California campus (very woke tech sector) was anyone using them or asking for them.

I have been asked under other circumstances and I said " I am post pronouns" ....then enjoyed the confused look on his face.

If you are genuinely concerned about how a refusal will be viewed, just say that you aren’t ready to out yourself yet. Which is entirely true.

I got asked once at my previous job if I wanted to have my pronouns in my email signature. I replied with a “No thanks” and never heard a peep about it afterwards.

I don't have my pronouns (would refuse if told too as well!) and nobody has ever said or mentioned the lack of them with no repercussions either.

At a recent medical appt the referral form asked for them too, I left the box blank again no questions asked of me.

No it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to do it or draw attention to it. You cannot mess up your probation by not doing it either. Don’t give it another thought.

any place that tacitly coerces/forces you to do it is the very opposite of inclusive, welcoming and “kind”.