Not posted on this board before, but there seems very few places to talk openly about these things anywhere.
Anyway - I just was reading through some of the transwidows posts and thinking about my mum's situation...
So she's been with her partner since my parents divorced, nearly 30 years ago. Her partner has always been enormously anti-social, to the point where he has lost all connection with any friends or even family members. They now live in a place where they are extremely rural and isolated. Their two sons have just left home to study in the nearest city, and so my mum and partner are now totally alone most of the time.
A couple of years ago, they came to a family funeral and it became immediately obvious that her partner was living as a woman - no mention of this was ever made by anyone. Her partner has been looking increasingly feminine for a long while but he now had quite obvious breasts, painted nails etc.
I had to confront my mum in the end as it became clear that no one was ever going to mention it - and their two sons we're also in the dark totally. Turns out he had been dressing as a woman for eight years and taking hormones, and neither of them had the courage to talk to anyone about it - not even their sons who they were living with.
My mum told me she's come to terms with it, and I figure that is her business. I am behind them both. But I suppose my concern is what goes on behind closed doors. She is extremely passive and essentially will put up with anything to avoid conflict.
The changing genders bothers me a lot less than the secretive nature of this whole thing. The fact that my mum's partner can be so passive-aggressive it is quite scary - sometimes totally normal, other times spitting hateful words under his breath. Never anything violent, but somehow growing up in their household was not comfortable.
I don't really know what I'm asking tbh. I know very little about this whole thing - I only wondered whether there were any other women who recognise this particular story in themselves that might help me understand what's happening, and if there's anything else I can be doing to support my mum besides supporting her partner's transition into a woman. I don't know why but can't help but feel concerned about her.