Four found dead in property

nor are we. Or most other women. And yet you think we should step up?

You are talking utter tripe now

All this group culpability shit does is palms the problem off onto some vague group, most of whom won't do anything as they're not violent themselves and don't associate with violent men. It hasn't worked in the past and it isn't working now

@MovinGroovinBarbie MEN have held the reins of power and control of the finance that enables that power for thousands of years, they made the laws, they enforced the laws, they made the decisions, they set the standards for society. Now IF they were at all bothered about male violence they could very well have sorted it out by now don't you think? Thousands of years and STILL male violence is a problem they wring they hands about and give useless sound bites. The reason they haven't sorted it out comes down to either apathy, incompetence or they just rather like the status quo.

Women have never held nor do they now that level of power and yet you think it is down to women to understand and help. NO. Male violence is a male problem to address, they have the power and the means available to do so but they won't.

There are NO excuses for male violence and it is long overdue for men to step up, accept they have a problem and fucking address it.

Tell them to #BeKind, of course.

Ah yes...... that wonderful phrase that keeps women in their place and tells them they must be people pleasers 🙄

Tell them to #BeKind, of course.

So if it's too dangerous for men to challenge other men when they witness violence what on earth are women supposed to do????

@MovinGroovinBarbie

Neither is my husband, but having seen an abusive man close up and seen the damage it does, he certainly doesn't think "it's not my job". He's not passively sitting around wailing uselessly about tragedys like the one in this thread. He wants to do something when he retires and has more time.

No idea yet what that will be. The obvious thing is to fund raise for women's services, but that's just dealing with the symptoms.

He certainly did something when it landed on our doorstep. Helped her move out, went to the solicitor with her, put together evidence, went with her to all family court sessions. He isn't a saint and expects no praise for doing what he did, just a father doing the bare minimum to protect his child and grandchildren.

Unfortunately there are thousands of other people's children and grandchildren who need help too. This is everyone's problem, but men making this unacceptable is the real solution. Most abusive men are misogynists. They won't listen to women. Women making excuses for abusive men is part of the problem.

It appears now that we've moved seamlessly onto 'and anyway male violence is all women's fault when you come down to it.'

Surprised the 'Not my Nigel' types haven't blamed the woman for driving her husband to murder her and their children.

.

All this group culpability shit does is palms the problem off onto some vague group, most of whom won't do anything as they're not violent themselves and don't associate with violent men. It hasn't worked in the past and it isn't working now

Tbh if I was a man I'd think very carefully before stepping in to help a stranger. Especially if the people telling me it was my duty were actually 4x less likely than me to be assaulted by a stranger. It doesn't matter that men are bigger and stronger than women because most non violent men aren't good at fighting and plenty of thugs carry knives nowadays, which they're more likely to use on someone they're unlikely to beat in a fistfight.

Look at the middle aged family guy from Land Rover who challenged a load of 14yo boys for their behaviour and was fatally stabbed. Bet his family wish he'd not stepped in.

And you can be sure as a man that nobody will step in and help you if you end up being the victim. Just look at all the social experiments on YouTube. They usually feature a staged encounter like where one partner chokes the other up against a wall. When the woman is the victim people rush to help. When the man is the victim people laugh and film it on their phones.

I've heard people on here try to argue that people are usually less concerned for the man because a woman presents less threat to him than the reverse, but how does this explain people finding it hilarious?

The thought of stepping in to help a stranger and ending up getting your head stamped on whilst people laugh and film it doesn't really sound appealing tbh. And in many cases the abused woman will still side with her partner. I remember somebody on here recounting a story where the abusive husband claimed the good samaritan had started the fight and the woman actually corroborated this and went against the guy who'd tried to help her.

You do realise we can see what you claimed previously and how it differs from what you are claiming here, right?

'Do nothing' is not the same as 'do much'

I think there is a bit of a concerted invasion of MRA types atm. I'm noticing them on multiple threads.

Either you're a troll or you're acting like one, and I'm not engaging further

Ditto. Stuff like these murders are depressing enough without post after post of 'but what about the poor menz?'

Using that logic it's not my job to deal with male violence because I'm not a man.

You've had plenty of experienced, kind, wise and patient women explain things, post evidence, give you their time, and you're now flinging insults and swearing. Not appropriate given this thread, not necessary.

Either you're a troll or you're acting like one, and I'm not engaging further.

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom that is harrowing
😢

Oh fuck off. Emotional manipulation won't work

Ah right. So no sympathy for the victims then. I mean, that was pretty obvious given that you're actually ignoring there are four people dead not just one but I thought I'd ask.

If you don't want a discussion or are offended by differing opinions a discussion forum probs isn't the place for you

The irony. BTW, I'll post where I like, what I like, when I like, subject to MN posting rules. I'm also big enough and old enough to decide what the place is for me, but ta for the concern.

I wasn't going to say anything obvious like 'oooh, I touched a nerve' but it sure looks like I did.

Why is it my partner's job? He's not violent or misogynist.

So he's happy for other men to give men as a class a bad name? He doesn't see any issues with that?

Does he call out sexist, misogynistic behaviour when he sees/hears it?

Exactly this.....but i guess if, like @MovinGroovinBarbie , you're approaching this from the perspective that some men can't help it, then that influences how you think it should be addressed.

Why is it my partner's job? He's not violent or misogynist.

They're too busy doing the violence to deal with it. They can't handle both jobs.

Why is it women's job to deal with male violence? why can't the men?

I'm not at all sure what you think women can do. Surely this is mens problem to solve. Until they want to solve it, we cant do an awful lot.

So, Arabella, nobody but nobody said that women can't do much to help, right?

What's so outrageous about saying we should focus on the actual perpetrators rather than blaming it on all men?

Well it brings me back to the old question, doesn't it? how out of all men do we tell who's going to do this and who isn't?

By the way @MovinGroovinBarbie third time of asking - any sympathy for the woman and children killed? because you're metaphorically stepping over these bodies to say poor man, poor man, he must be mentally ill and completely ignoring what he did. I mean, fake it if you can't actually feel it.

I can’t believe women are still peddling NAMALT on behalf of the poor men. Fuck. I actually can’t bear it.