Adam Kay

He is of the lads generation. Being the same age as me, ish, lyrics and attitudes like that were normal and celebrated. It was depressing. I know someone who knows him, and he's alright, but one of those people who thinks a lot of themselves because of their cleverness and education, and a bit of fame hasn't really done him any favours. He appears to have grown up a bit since his 20s, haven't we all. I don't think he is a bad person.

I will not defend his use of surrogacy though, you're right to point out the blatant hypocrisy there.

Well, who could have predicted that? His love of women shines through!

Fellas, Aren't you glad you're not...a woman? You're not a Sheila, you're a Peter, or a Clive. Because their lack of spatial awareness, makes them really fkin' careless. You should, never, ever let a woman drive. When a girl is sitting at the wheel you're gonna hear the crunch of steel. There's a very real danger that she'll crash into a stranger. If you want to leave the car alive never let a woman drive. If you ever let a bird reverse you're gonna end up in a hearse. You're in massive fkin' peril if you're driver's name is Sheryl If you want to leave the car alive never let a woman drive

It’s amazing how pretty you looked on that night, Your skirt was so short and your top was so tight. I bought you a drink and we danced on the floor, We pulled and you came back to mine for some more. Your skirt ended up on the living room chairs, And your top and your bra, they came off on the stairs, And though you looked fit with your clothes on, Man I was a fool… Cos you look like sht when you wear nothing at all. Oh the clothes that you wore looked a million dollars, But the body beneath, it looked just like Rick Waller’s. The makeup you wear is a clever disguise To hide your moustache and the squint in your eyes. Your cellulite’s dreadful, your covered in zits and Your stomach’s about as defined as quicksand. If I’m being honest your tits are unacceptably small, So you look like sht when you wear nothing at all. When we went back to mine I was up for a shag. In the bedroom I realised you’re a dumpy old slag. Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs, Didn’t know they made arses that size. When we met on that night, I could swear that I never Would have guessed you’re a female Andrew Lloyd Webber. The hair on your chest’s a bit endocrinological, And you look like sht when you wear nothing at all. Your teeth are all yellow, with bloody great gaps so Your face is a picture, by Pablo Picasso. I can see that your arse has its own gravitational pull, And you look like sht when you wear nothing at all.

Once a month your girl's upset She goes to Boots to buy Lilets It happens every 28 days, When she's in her Luteal phase. All she does in moan and nag, You go five days without a shag There's no cunnilingus You can only use your fingers When she's using a menstrual rag. For the week or two preceeding The days your other half is bleeding, The moody b**ch is in a stress Complaining about PMS and, When her womb has started sluffin, You won't be eatin any muffin, Two, four, six, eight, Come on girls, lets menstruate. Heavy flow or gentle spotting, Running down her legs or clotting All that lining that she sheds leaves Nasty patches on your bedsheets. Just don't waste your efforts pleading You won't be shagging when she's bleeding The Methenamic acid means you might as well be flaccid When she's using a menstrual rag. It's hard to be all that devoted When she is looking fat and bloated From all the water she's retaining, While her pants have nasty staining. You won't be doing any groping When she's losing haemoglobin, Two, four, six, eight, Come on girls, lets menstruate. Get those Bodyforms with wings, and grab your Tampax by the strings, and TENA lady's sanitary pads, come on boys you've seen the ads. This dance is sweeping through the nation, Here's three cheers for menstruation, Its the latest craze Every 28 days They're all using a menstrual, Using a menstrual rag

This is a national service announcement for all men
If you go to Bolton
If you go to Manchester
Or crewe
Newcastle, or Scarborough
York, or Scunthorp, Bradford, Barnsley too
Or Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say

Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting aids

There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class
Slags who take it up the arse

They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
and your dick won't touch the sides
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da

Northern Birds

Da-da-da-da-da

If you really have to
Go up north then follow our advice
Fight away the women
Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice
And herpes
Your much better staying in the South
Northern Birds
Are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry
With a peanut for a brain
And an accent that makes you want to die

Now you've been warned
They're all physically deformed
Northern birds
Are all obese
And they're riddled with disease

Try to escape
Northern sex is worse than rape
Stay down south and mark my words
Stear well clear of northern birds

Northern birds

Northern birds

I loved the series with Ben Whishaw & I think I even defended AK on here but the more I hear/ read about him the more I agree that he is a misogynistic twat. Also thinking about it, it takes a particular type of person to use their experiences as a medic as ‘entertainment.’ Those song lyrics are foul, I don’t care if he was in his 20s when he wrote them. It says a lot about him.

It’s depressing how common amongst celebrities this is becoming and how it’s never really challenged but instead praised on mainstream media.

I read his book and there were so many stories that didn’t sit right with me. There was a woman who was clearly in distress as she had issues but medical checks threw up nothing and was told there was nothing wrong with her and she has a melt down and he mocks her. So either she has mental health issues or she genuinely does have something undiagnosed, how is that comedy material. And a lot of other ones as well where I just thought the tone was off.

Gay men become fathers in exactly the same way as women who can’t carry a baby do. Aka adoption.

It’s been said several times on these threads that AK cited his inability to cope with obstetric tragedies as his reason for leaving medicine. He could have changed speciality, of course. However if you read This Is Going to Hurt, he’s constantly complaining about how little money he was earning, especially in comparison to his friends. He’s certainly attempting to squeeze every penny out of his time in medicine.

I agree he came across as deeply unpleasant in the book. Compare him with Prof Nikolaides (currently featured in a Netflix documentary) - someone who really seems to understand and like women.
So how do gay men become fathers then OP?
Bizarre comment! Life isn't fair. Women don't owe men procreation rights.

I got the audiobook from the library and abandoned it very early on because the tone made me feel queasy. Thank the goddess he got out of medicine. How can a vile person such as he bring up heathy well adjusted children, let alone a female child.
If I had the authority I’d feel very tempted to keep a close watch on that household and at the first legitimate cause remove the child, or children even. Both parents need at least to be subject to scrutiny — (not because of their sexuality alone, I hasten to add)

Jesus hadn't read that bit. My opinion just crashed even lower

I could tell by his voice in DiD that he was a wrong ‘un. Had to switch off when Lauren Laverne was simpering about the surrogacy. Bring back Kirsty.

I can’t really remember the book but those lyrics are woefully misogynistic

I loved the humorous aspects of the books with some of his a and e cases but then the tone felt wrong towards women. I then have heard him on a couple of podcasts and found him unbearable. So condescending and sounded really bitter and superior. Not a nice person I'd wager

How do gay men become parents?
Well not many do. A friend donated sperm to a lesbian couple and has an EOW arrangement with them - they all seem very happy and have 4 kids now.
Men are not able to have babies, women do. We do not owe them our children.

Exactly

When I read this post my reaction was “What???? He watched a woman bleed to death from a PPH and then decided to pay for two women to go through pregnancy so that he and his husband could have a baby each?”

Then I read the rest of the thread which makes clear that everything he has ever written shows him to be a vile misogynist who despises women.

And then I remembered reading a report a while back, where data showed that male surgeons have (statistically significant) different outcomes for male v. female patients, with worse outcomes for female patients; whereas female surgeons don’t have different outcomes depending on the patient’s sex. The key finding being: if you’re female, you’re safer with a female doctor, as she is less likely to kill you than a male doctor.

I note the comment somewhere up thread that he’d been told that, no matter how good a doctor you are, you’ll have a certain number of patient losses and that’s why he quit. But that’s his version of that conversation. It’s also the case (according to the stats) that male doctors a greater risk to female patients than female doctors. And it seems to me to be entirely plausible that being a massive misogynist who holds women in contempt would be a factor in the greater risk faced by female patients.

According to the Observer one of those two babies is called Ruby. I feel sorry for her; a misogynist for a parent, and no mother to protect her.

Not only that but he and his husband procured the babies from the US.

As a doctor he should know that maternal outcomes are worse in the US health system than in the UK.

The reason he and his husband chose the US of course is the better consumer protection it provides for those paying for a woman to carry a pregnant for them.

There’s an interview/ article in the Observer / Guardian online today which says the two babies (presumably one each for him and his husband) are two months and six months old, and that he wasn’t able to fly out to the US for the birth because “a difficult pregnancy” led to a phonecall about an imminent birth.

Why 'order' two children so close together in age? I read another article by a surrogate who had a similar terrible experience with a hetero couple. They used 2 different surrogates simultaneously so that if one pregnancy didn't go to term, they had a back up. Grim

Good luck to the kids.

If he had issues in his past which barred him from adoption/fostering and he's gone abroad to somewhere with more lax laws for surrogacy, what does that say about whether he should have kids?

The idea he was 'forced into surrogacy' then starts to raise eyebrows.

What would he be forced to do if going and getting a surrogacy abroad was prohibited?

What else would be justified?

Not every country allows it.
He seems to have made the decision to use a country with laxer laws than here. Which really ought to give pause to anyone who thinks it is all fine.

I didn't watch the series as the book was so disgusting but I thought this was a rare misstep by Ben Whishaw. Perhaps as a gay man, women's pain and humiliation are not really one his radar? I hope that's not the case as I have always liked his work.

Apparently becoming a doctor was a 'default decision'. Maybe he could have put the training to work in a less stressful field for himself?

(Not writing obstetric text books 😬)

Anyway he seems to have found himself a more lucrative career.

Presumably they needed the money then?
If you need the money, it's not true consent.

You shouldnt be allowed to traffic humans. There are laws about it in every other aspect of human trafficking yet for some strange reason babies seem to be the exception.

There's a thread on a different forum about his side of the term "pregnant people/person".

Reassuringly it hasn't gone down well.

Reading his books mad eme feel really uncomfortable. A sibling who is a JCP said "I've worked with men like him, I hate them"