California commodifies women and babies for gay men

That’s a really good point

Why is it considered ethical/acceptable to demand that a mother had no contact with her child just because the men want exclusivity?

In cases of separation/divorce etc the bar to deny access is often extremely high even when the parent in question has behaved appallingly, purely because it is understood that it’s best for the child to know their birth parents if at all possible.

the selfishness of the adults who seek a surrogate is seemingly always justified because they for whatever reason are deemed to have had a difficult path to become parents.

"Women’s bodies are not a “pregnancy treatment” for men"

Says it all

“Why is it considered tragic if a newborn’s mother dies, but acceptable when the same conditions are planned for to cater to the desires of adults who bought their baby?”

Because in the second scenario the man doesn’t want the mother to be involved but in the first scenario he does. In other words, as the article points out, it’s all about the adult male’s wants, not about the baby’s needs. (Adoption being different as the motivation there (in ethical situations involving careful decision making about placing a baby who can’t be looked after by its mother) is the baby’s need for a family.)