Do any of you feel safer as an older woman than when you were young?

I've never really felt unsafe - I'm small but fierce - but god, the relief of now being invisible. I'm so glad to be out of that game. It feels like having the freedom of pre-pubescence back, where you never had to worry what you looked like every time you stepped out the door.

See I don’t like the ‘mum my had just died’ response. It is still basically saying ‘I should smile for you but please let me off the hook’ - they still won’t feel guilty or reflect on their misogyny.

But on the plus side it might help it to sink in that someone might have a reason to look unhappy.

See I don’t like the ‘mum my had just died’ response. It is still basically saying ‘I should smile for you but please let me off the hook’ - they still won’t feel guilty or reflect on their misogyny.

I do feel safer but if I ever had to run away from danger I'll be a lot slower

I’m less intimidated by men. They’re all just puffed up little boys to me so I am totally at ease with speaking very plainly to them and putting them in their place if I have to. I am still aware of their significant physical advantage though, so I still wouldn’t risk being vulnerable in places where I could be mugged or worse.

No, I can't say I feel any more safer than when I was younger. However, I do feel more confident and assertive. I'm more likely to tell them to fuck off if they say "smile, it might never happen".

Same. Last time a man said that to me, about 10 years ago now I told him my mum had just died. She's alive and well but hopefully made him think twice about saying it again.

I think you just get more savvy when you're older so less likely to be in a situation where you feel unsafe in the first place. But also far less visible so less likely to be harrassed.

Honestly I felt invincible when I was younger , did things I would never consider doing nowadays , so it’s a hard call . Nowadays I think I feel more aware of dangers so wouldn’t put myself in a situation I was likely to feel unsafe in .

IDK if I feel safer, maybe because you get used to living in fear of men etc.

But I should feel safer (while not stopping being reasonably cautious of course) because objectively I get hardly any hassle now.

I think I am safer now in my 50s from dodgy men, and I do like the feeling of being treated with respect by some men and ignored by others. But like a PP I took a lot of risks when young and felt safe-ish even though I probably wasn’t, and thought I could tell who to avoid. I didn’t have the comments and leering as bad as some other women. I’m tall and strong with short hair and wasn’t seen as a target for that very often, either because deemed unattractive or because they didn’t want to mess with me. It worked out well for me as I did have men interested but generally the less shallow men.

(however I still know all women are at risk of rape or other attacks - it happened to an 85-year-old woman in our very “safe” area )

But I’m single now and what I really love is knowing I don’t have to think about it at all. I dress for me and I can have a day with a dress and make up or a day looking like a builder’s mate and I don’t care if anyone else likes it or not.

I just find this subject unbearably sad as I had already been sexually assaulted by the time I was 11 so I have always been hyper aware since then. I was so innocent but developed a take no crap attitude towards attention to the point that I actually confronted one of the men that followed me when I was in my twenties. I don’t get that sort of attention now but the echos of the vulnerability remain which makes me sad and furious all at the same time!

I’ve never felt unsafe. Combination of street smarts and utter obliviousness I suppose.

When l was younger l felt invincible. Now l am older and wiser. I am sensible but don't have an excessive fear. I'm 54 , in good shape still and quite enjoy some of the flirtatious banter, its always done in a respectful way. ( l work in a busy store). I have experienced some negative behaviour from males over the years but I've never allowed it to make me bitter, resentful or hatred of the whole male population as a whole, because that would only affect me and not them. I am enjoying this stage of life as l just feel more comfortable all round.

I started feeling much less carefree after I had DC (early 30s) as it felt like in addition to having to try and stay safe myself as an individual, l now had to keep their mother safe, if that makes sense. However, now in my early 40s I am happily invisible to men as I walk down the street and I love that feeling. As a PP has said, I also feel much more able to step in and help/defend younger women/girls from creepy men, which I’ve had to do a couple of times. Maternal instinct has definitely helped with that.

I feel much less safe because I have much greater awareness. As a teen in the summer I'd walk home across cities at 2 in the morning to save money after going clubbing without a second thought. I loved the quiet and the cool air. I miss that reckless/fearlessness I had when I was young even if it was just naivety.

This is how I feel. From a very young age I was harassed and assaulted more times than I could remember. Now I can exist without feeling the eyes on me wherever I went. It’s really nice to be able to chat with people I encounter without the wariness that I had to have as a young woman and girl. Ageing out of the range of desirable to creeps is a blessing.

Hmm, not exactly safer - I'm conscious that I'm absolutely worth mugging for my credit card. (Presumably I could also be forced to divulge the number?...)

But, as others have said, it's almost a relief to be freed from the constant sexual harassment, comments about breasts etc.

I walked across London a week ago, and zero men tried to hit on me. It's almost like a switch has been flicked to the Off position, from available to invisible. What a relief.

I would agree with this.
When I think back to some of the the choices I made as a 22 year old I’m a bit horrified- walking home across central liverpool at 2am, drunkish and alone without a care in the world!
I have to say I’ve been lucky overall that I’ve very rarely felt unsafe whilst out and about at any age. But I’m definitely more aware than I was as a younger person.

I’ve never worried about it at any age

Yup, I feel much less visible, and therefore much safer. I do quite a lot of travel around Europe by myself, and there was a point when the male gaze just passed over me and I realised how brilliant that was! Older women are virtually invisible in many ways, and this is one of the more useful ones!

No. When I think of things I did (from niave-ity) and being much fitter I cringe a bit. I do think that bad social behaviour was tolerated less so physically rarely felt unsafe.

Well Eva Longoria - who is 48 wasn't exactly safe last night, when Biden tried to grope her breasts - in front of camera's. I'm not as polite as her - I would have slapped him across the face

Yes. I'm in my 50s. When I was younger I was told to be fearful , don't walk home by myself , etc etc. Now I have a sense of proportion, walk home by myself late at night and I feel free

It is v funny to think that when I was a kid 65 was classed as elderly!

I don’t see 70 as elderly though (before anyone jumps on me). I was thinking more 80+.

The risks increase again in those elderly years I think. The really cowardly types will target elderly women living alone.