Frustrating conversation with NB sister

But I don't use "trans women" as it is a category error. If I did I would be referring to a biological female person with a "male" gender identity. But I'm doing my bit to avoid confusion, so I just find other terms to use.

In a context where I'm referring to cis women, I would also be referring to trans women. I consider both to be adjectives for different cohorts of women.

So mostly, I would just refer to 'women' (to include trans women and cis women).

But when it's relevant to distinguish between women who are trans, and women who are not, then I would refer to trans women and cis women.

They're not adult human females, so outside your ideological belief framework they aren't actually women. If you must, "women and trans women".

Of course it matters. Some people are transgender and some are not. Having a word to describe the second cohort is just basic linguistics.

Sometimes we need adjectives to use when its relevant to the conversation.

Sometimes it will be relevant to describe me as a gay woman. Most times it won't, but if someone is describing my experience compared to a straight woman, then the adjectives gay and straight are both necessary parts of language.

My sister is extremely kind and empathetic

Her behaviour suggest she uses a performance of kindness to get her own way and go under the radar.

I don't ever consider males as a type of women, so I reject the ideological language of the faith-based movement that says they can.

But sometimes in a discussion, it is relevant whether someone is transgender or not. I'm assuming the OP is not transgender.

To my mind, assuming that you consider trans women to be women, surely it would be women and trans women, since trans women are vastly outnumbered by women in the group, rather than women and cis women?

Doesn't matter if you don't understand or not, TeaKlaxon. Either everyone respects what other people ask to be called, or we all make up our own minds.

There's no need to use it at all, and it's presumptuous and rude.

There's no need to use the term cisgender/cis in most contexts. Just like there is no need to use the term trans/transgender in most contexts. We can just call people men or women, or non-binary, as appropriate.

Like all adjectives.

But sometimes in a discussion, it is relevant whether someone is transgender or not. I'm assuming the OP is not transgender.

I've no idea why anyone would think it is offensive to have a word to describe a relevant adjective in a discussion.

I'd say that's beautiful, about as beautiful as awful art at Tate Modern.

Seriously, you've summed up the "wheels within wheels" illogic and linguistic Orubourus snake eating itself contortions that gender is imposing on language and concepts.

Women have their whole category re-categorised...by non-women.

Said non-women then re-categorise themselves to be termed...the original category.

Not even Monty Python at their barrier breaking and post modern chaotic heights could ever have come up with this.

I used to hang out with people who used to call me "bro". It was funny but borderline irritating after a while, lol.

Anyone calling me "cis", it's not funny, and way worse than borderline irritating. And not even after a while.

Anyone close to me did this with me, I'd cut the cord.

That's always been the aim.

You have to laugh. A woman is a cis woman but a trans identifying male is a woman.

It's getting ridiculous now. Women supporting this stupid labelling. I'm a woman not a cis. Men controlling women and the world again.

It's she usually so dense about things or it's she being purposely obtuse?

Exactly. Either everyone gets to decide their prefix or noone does. You cant have it both ways

She’s pandering to men’s feelings and prioritising males over females, I’m amazed she can’t see that.

None of these people can see that it's at the heart of the movement.

it's best in these situations if both sides use their preferred language. op doesn't object to being called 'cis', the sister doesn't object to being called 'woman' or 'she/her', etc. it shouldn't be a big deal, both 'sides' here know exactly what the other is, i.e. an adult biological female who has or hasn't decided to layer a conflicting 'gender' on top of that.

What next? Trans women are women! Cis women are cis women! So offensive. She’s pandering to men’s feelings and prioritising males over females, I’m amazed she can’t see that.

Cis is bloody rude. Anyone forcing cis upon me is effectively describing an atheist as an evangelical Christian. No thank you.

I wonder if she recognises that the only people she see as women without a qualifying prefix are actually men?

This. I guess she's young and might grow up to be more respectful than she is being right now? How does she feel it's OK to misgender you?

Sorry, I realise that's confusing - first two lines quoted from OP