Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

A bit shaken- friends into gender ideology

58 replies

mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:11

So, long time lurker, used to participate a bit but nowhere near as informed as others so ended up mainly lurking.

Anyway, learned a lot. I am neurodiverse so have done a lot of hyperfocus study of the subject so know a lot more than the man on the street.

Anyway, feel need a bit of support and unpicking because each time I try to bring up how this ideology isn't something I am comfortable supporting, I've had some odd reactions.

Two friends I know separately, both who have slightly different values when it comes to gender and feminism. (One very traditional won't dress a girl in blue incase, shudder, misgendered; one clothes should be clothes advocate) have both left me feeling a bit shaken when discussing this.

Both have implied that if their child was born in the wrong body (their words) then they would support a transition. When I've tried to bring up how I don't agree with this approach because it encourages gender stereotypes, creates lifelong medical patients, serious medical consequences, I've not even been given a chance to explain properly before I get given the 'bigot, transphobia' treatment.

I find it incredibly frustrating because although I know more about it than a lot of people, I find it difficult to articulate verbally. Because I am neurodiverse I find it even more to put across my point when someone gets accusatory as my fight or flight response is activated.

I was also sort of hoping with all the sunlight at the moment that this response would happen less and less as people started to question it. I mean, it's not like I bring it up all the time, but I refuse to be complicit with the fiction so when it comes up I do say what I think.

Anyway, just hoping for some wise words on how to keep my cool when this happens as it's really shaken me.

Also, has made me question what my children will be told in future because of people commonly still think this my very vulnerable children are at risk. No idea how to navigate this so my children come out intact and mentally healthy.

And yes, yes one liners I'll be sure to educate myself. Please start with telling me how you can be born in the wrong body.

OP posts:
Original poster
mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:36

I think the one today shocked me because I thought she was sensible and GC. I have other friends and relatives who either think the same as me or will listen and acknowledge if it comes up.

Honestly, I tried to ask how one can 'be born in the wrong body' and was very clear you can't change sex. Friend just lamented the surgery should be better. I found it so bizarre I must admit I don't think I was remotely coherent.

It just surprised me it took me by surprise. Also surprised people who know less about it than me (obviously not aware of mermaid no longer spouting born in wrong body wrong for example) could be so forceful in their opinions.

But yeah, mostly just shaken by it because I hate confrontation.

OP posts:
DameMaud · 01/06/2023 22:33

mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:25

They are normal in other ways.
They are like most of the public. I'll informed, think it's the same as gay rights movement, progressive etc.

Show quote history

That's what's so difficult I think. When you've read and seen and thought about it so much, and in so much depth, it creates a huge and seemingly impossible divide to bridge.

I think that can be part of the struggle to articulate.

I totally relate OP!

TheLeadbetterLife · 01/06/2023 22:30

This must be the circles you move in OP. I’ve found the opposite. Almost every person I’ve tentatively revealed my GC position to in real life has turned out to think the same as me. There’s a coy little dance where you tiptoe around the subject because neither person wants to be declared a bigot, then it all comes out and we feel relieved.

I only know one person who seems to be on the other side, and she’s American so it’s all tied up in their complicated politics. She also has a lot on her plate at the moment and probably only has a superficial knowledge of the issues. She doesn’t know I’m GC, I just avoid the subject.

The fact is, gender ideology just doesn’t bear the scrutiny of reality.

dropthevipers · 01/06/2023 22:29

mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:25

They are normal in other ways.
They are like most of the public. I'll informed, think it's the same as gay rights movement, progressive etc.

Show quote history

ask them to provide proof that anyone, anywhere, anytime has ever changed sex. (hint-zero-count them). If you dont accept this then you are prey to all the attendant bollocks that we are familiar with.

Original poster
mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:25

dropthevipers · 01/06/2023 22:23

Think you need some new friends (i.e. not batshit mentalists)

They are normal in other ways.
They are like most of the public. I'll informed, think it's the same as gay rights movement, progressive etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
mybodyisme · 01/06/2023 22:24

To be clear, they aren't calling me a bigot, they are implying it with their heat, way they argue that it's the same as a gay child etc.

Again, it's difficult to explain as I'm neurodiverse do hugely sensitive to tone and facial expressions, words chosen etc.

OP posts:
dropthevipers · 01/06/2023 22:23

Think you need some new friends (i.e. not batshit mentalists)

Hepwo · 01/06/2023 22:21

Why not ask your friends not to call you names and insult you?

Deal with their behaviour not their opinions?

Your friends might believe in wrong bodies but they don't need to insult you if you don't. Ask them not to.

Swipe left for the next trending thread