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Original poster

Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

434 replies

HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 23/05/2023 13:11

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

OP posts:
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herecomesthsun · 23/05/2023 18:53

Could I say I identify as Debbie Harry and Chrissie Hynde? on alternate days?

girl crushes for 40 years

SunflowerLovers · 23/05/2023 18:51

Why are you ashamed to let people know you’re a woman? Have you changed your first name to something gender neutral so no one can tell? I hate to break it to you but despite hiding your pronouns you will always be referred to as ‘she’.

Thinkwicebeforeyouleavemylife · 23/05/2023 18:50

Girlboss1989 · 23/05/2023 15:20

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

Because presumably that would constitute buying into an ideology that OP , and many others, feel deeply opposed to.

Maia77 · 23/05/2023 18:49

PuzzledObserver · 23/05/2023 18:45

Can someone explain how me saying that my pronouns are she/her (which they are, because I’m female, and there’s unlikely to be any confusion over email because my name is unambiguously female) helps someone who is trans/gender fluid/non binary etc.

Exactly. It's not about being disrespectful to people who don't fit neatly into gender/sex categories. It just doesn't make much sense.

pennypingletonpenny · 23/05/2023 18:48

SpringNotSprung · 23/05/2023 15:32

I'm waiting for the instruction. When it comes I'll be putting: "my pronouns are I and me"

Yes, this has always bothered me. I don’t get how this ever became a thing, as surely it is all ultimately pointless anyway isn’t it - when someone addresses me they’ll just use “you” and “yours”?

mitsandscarf · 23/05/2023 18:48

Refer them to Matt Walsh

PuzzledObserver · 23/05/2023 18:45

Can someone explain how me saying that my pronouns are she/her (which they are, because I’m female, and there’s unlikely to be any confusion over email because my name is unambiguously female) helps someone who is trans/gender fluid/non binary etc.

BellaAmorosa · 23/05/2023 18:43

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:20

I’d rather people mistook me for a man than part of the Gender Borg.

😂😂
Same, same!

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 23/05/2023 18:41

Girlboss1989 · 23/05/2023 15:20

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

Why? For what reason?

If someone calls me him and Joe by mistake when I’m a she and a Jo, I don’t care, I am not pandering to this shit.

until I took my welcome voluntary redundancy a few weeks ago, I worked for a massive well known. We had all this encouragement to use pronouns for inclusivity, I can categorically confirm 99% of people didn’t bother with the pronoun crap either and ignored it, including 100% of my female and gay colleagues.

Waitwhat23 · 23/05/2023 18:39

If pushed and looking for inspiration, there's a whole world of nounself and emojiself lists out there.

Yes. Emojiself.

FixTheBone · 23/05/2023 18:34

HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 23/05/2023 13:11

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

Give them nowhere to go.

Tell them that you are so fluid that forcing you to define yourself in an arbitrary way is triggering, and literally an assault on your freedoms to have whatever opinion you feel like.

Maireas · 23/05/2023 18:31

nothingcomestonothing · 23/05/2023 18:26

Or how about 'my pronouns are sex based, like my oppression'?

Show quote history

👌quite

identifyingasmrblobbytoday · 23/05/2023 18:29

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:20

I’d rather people mistook me for a man than part of the Gender Borg.

Exactly.

Outofthepark · 23/05/2023 18:28

Some brilliantly witty responses on this thread!

Maia77 · 23/05/2023 18:28

nothingcomestonothing · 23/05/2023 18:26

Or how about 'my pronouns are sex based, like my oppression'?

Show quote history

👏

JanesLittleGirl · 23/05/2023 18:27

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:13

OP it’s the old story - there’s no acceptable way of saying no.

Fuck off seemed to work.

Soapyspuds · 23/05/2023 18:26

If you do not have a preferred pronoun how can they make you do this? I would consider it borderline discrimination if they asked you to label youself as something you are not.

Tell them that you identify as asexual and the closest object that you identify as is a baked potato. Proceed to ask them how they would like you to amend your signature to include 'Baked potato'.

nothingcomestonothing · 23/05/2023 18:26

CorderBollie · 23/05/2023 18:23

If I'm asked to do this at work I'm going to put

sex/matters

Or how about 'my pronouns are sex based, like my oppression'?

SaltyColin · 23/05/2023 18:25

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:20

I’d rather people mistook me for a man than part of the Gender Borg.

Ha haaa, well said.
People can make all the assumptions they want about my sex/gender/whatever. But I DO NOT want them assuming my level of intelligence!

LemonjeIIo · 23/05/2023 18:23

How about
My Leige
Your Leige

CorderBollie · 23/05/2023 18:23

If I'm asked to do this at work I'm going to put

sex/matters

Fandangoes · 23/05/2023 18:23

I don’t understand why pronoun preferences are even necessary. My preference is that people use my name when talking about me. I don’t think there is any reason for me to declare either my sex or gender in the workplace or anywhere else.

8state · 23/05/2023 18:21

@JanesLittleGirl I think there may be patriarchal links with women not being expected to own property, rather being property. Hence only having the option of her/hers rather than him/his. In view of this I shall be adding an additional term of Shero e.g. She, Shero, Her

Trixiefirecracker · 23/05/2023 18:21

Say you are still deciding but this week you are feeling you might like to identify as a cat.

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:20

I’d rather people mistook me for a man than part of the Gender Borg.