Page 8 | Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 2023-05-23T12:11:20+00:00

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work. I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬. Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

TeenLifeMum · 23/05/2023 19:21

Women are known to be at a disadvantage in most workplaces so quite honestly why would I highlight the fact I’m a woman. Happy for the email recipient to assume I’m male, so long as they respond I really don’t care about their view of me.

we added pronouns to email forests and one of the exec team (highly intelligent female dr) said loudly across the office “er teenlife, wtf? I’m not doing that!” I laughed and said “same here!”

bofski14 · 23/05/2023 19:18

But preferred pronouns are a sure fire way to show everyone how special you are! You are instructing them, in writing, how they should refer to you even if they're talking about you on the other side of the world. Because we should be able to control other people's language to fit in with our personal whims, right? I'm being sarcastic, obviously.

It's like saying my preferred adjectives are "beautiful" and "rich" and ANYONE talking about me must address me as "beautiful and rich bofski14".

It's embarrassing.

CharlotteRumpling · 23/05/2023 19:17

8state · 23/05/2023 19:06

@PuzzledObserver If lots of people are stating their pronouns, it normalises it. Trans people then don't feel weird about stating their pronouns, it becomes a routine thing. This is how it was explained to me at my last very diverse training day. I have to admit I completely lost track of who was he/she/they/it, but I don't mind it in principle. It shouldn't be forced on people though.

But I don't want to normalise stating pronouns. I am not an ally. And the law now allows me not to be an ally.

PomegranateOfPersephone · 23/05/2023 19:16

8state · 23/05/2023 19:06

@PuzzledObserver If lots of people are stating their pronouns, it normalises it. Trans people then don't feel weird about stating their pronouns, it becomes a routine thing. This is how it was explained to me at my last very diverse training day. I have to admit I completely lost track of who was he/she/they/it, but I don't mind it in principle. It shouldn't be forced on people though.

It would better for everyone if we could stick with the status quo of not trying to exert complete control over how others perceive us and speak about us instead of normalising compelled speech to pacify people who are delusional and want the rest of us to enter into their delusion with them whether we like it or not.

No need for anyone to announce pronouns, just accept how others perceive your sex is up to them and not you.

fetchacloth · 23/05/2023 19:13

DollyTrolly · 23/05/2023 15:29

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

Would you ask someone to put their marital status, religion, sexuality, or if they were pregnant on their email signature?

Made me laugh out loud😂

Dalekjastninerels · 23/05/2023 19:10

This is a new thing to me (and unheard of where I work) I just put my first name in my emails at work when I sign them.

How does it even work? Does someone put Mary(she/her) in case people get mixed up?

Flummoxed

identifyingasmrblobbytoday · 23/05/2023 19:08

Fur/Furself would be fun. If we're respecting identities and all.

midgemadgemodge · 23/05/2023 19:07

Why should we normalise something that makes it easier to discriminate against women ?

midgemadgemodge · 23/05/2023 19:07

It's nothing about being ashamed of being a women

But i would be ashamed to be accepting of the gender of woman

It would be a betrayal of all my parents taught me about gender - how it shouldn't define me

8state · 23/05/2023 19:06

@PuzzledObserver If lots of people are stating their pronouns, it normalises it. Trans people then don't feel weird about stating their pronouns, it becomes a routine thing. This is how it was explained to me at my last very diverse training day. I have to admit I completely lost track of who was he/she/they/it, but I don't mind it in principle. It shouldn't be forced on people though.

nothingcomestonothing · 23/05/2023 19:05

SunflowerLovers · 23/05/2023 18:51

Why are you ashamed to let people know you’re a woman? Have you changed your first name to something gender neutral so no one can tell? I hate to break it to you but despite hiding your pronouns you will always be referred to as ‘she’.

If I'm always going to be referred to as 'she', I don't need to state my pronouns, do I?

Tooclosetodanger · 23/05/2023 19:05

Don’t play the game ladies. I grit my teeth whenever I see pronouns on someone’s email signature or LinkedIn profile. It irritates me so much!!

Aquarius/Aquarian/Aquariamus

louderthan · 23/05/2023 19:04

Jellifulfruit · 23/05/2023 18:57

My pronouns are we/us, for all my personalities

Brilliant 🤩
Mine are 'she/her/Satan'

Thinkwicebeforeyouleavemylife · 23/05/2023 19:01

MerlinsLostMarbles · 23/05/2023 17:30

Your options are
1- State your preferred pronouns. Everyone's happy.

2- Refuse to do so and launch into a hateful diatribe about transpeople when asked why. Fall out with your boss and colleagues and end up getting fired.

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Except clearly everyone isn't happy, are they.

Not wanting to state your pronouns is not transphobic.

ArabeIIaScott · 23/05/2023 19:01

Also:

https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

Pronouns are Rohypnol • Fair Play For Women

There’s a lot of chat around about pronouns right now. Specifically, ‘preferred’ pronouns. By which is usually meant, the pronouns a person would prefer.

https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns

ArabeIIaScott · 23/05/2023 19:00

SaltyColin · 23/05/2023 18:25

Ha haaa, well said.
People can make all the assumptions they want about my sex/gender/whatever. But I DO NOT want them assuming my level of intelligence!

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100%

Don't gaf if I'm 'misgendered'. Quite often I'll be taken more seriously if people think I'm a man.

I do gaf about people thinking I'm into genderpish, which is the standard assumption most people make when they see pronouns.

swerve/avoid/nothankyou

VaddaABeetch · 23/05/2023 18:59

I put mine down as FeeFi/FoFum (I smell some gender bull shite).

SunnyEgg · 23/05/2023 18:59

SunflowerLovers · 23/05/2023 18:51

Why are you ashamed to let people know you’re a woman? Have you changed your first name to something gender neutral so no one can tell? I hate to break it to you but despite hiding your pronouns you will always be referred to as ‘she’.

That’s the point. There is no shame

I am a woman. People know. No one has got it wrong, I don’t need to add pronouns

Nousernamesleftatall · 23/05/2023 18:59

Good for you. If pushed say my pronouns are WTF/FFS.

Lolapusht · 23/05/2023 18:58

Still my favourite…

[[https://wildwomynworkshop.com/store/mugs/pronouns-mug/

Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

Jellifulfruit · 23/05/2023 18:57

My pronouns are we/us, for all my personalities

Original poster

HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 23/05/2023 18:56

SunflowerLovers · 23/05/2023 18:51

Why are you ashamed to let people know you’re a woman? Have you changed your first name to something gender neutral so no one can tell? I hate to break it to you but despite hiding your pronouns you will always be referred to as ‘she’.

I don't need to "let people know".
I am a woman.
I was born one.
I have a woman's name.
They already know.

OP posts:

MarkWithaC · 23/05/2023 18:53

tonyatotter · 23/05/2023 17:59

I caused a bit of upset when I was asked to do this, and decided I wanted to identify as a cable clip, so put my pronouns as clip/clipped - boss wasn't happy, but I put on a straight face and said "are you questioning my identity, are you discriminating against clips, what if i was a pipe clip, would you discriminate against that"
Eventually someone more senior told me to take it off and that was that - our caretaker still has "Dogs/Body" on his email signature, no one has noticed!

I like the cut of his jib

bossybloss · 23/05/2023 18:53

SpringNotSprung · 23/05/2023 15:32

I'm waiting for the instruction. When it comes I'll be putting: "my pronouns are I and me"

This is genius!

maltravers · 23/05/2023 18:53

I’m not ashamed Sunflower, but suggesting my sex (or gender!) is relevant to my job in sexist claptrap. Why should I buy into it?