Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

it beggars belief that people are honestly posing this question.

I got fired for being pregnant in a country where that is actually illegal. The company (very small) closed down and reopened with another name rather than reinstate me

i was refused promotions when my children were small on the grounds that i would be a less loyal employee as a mother, and had a junior, not as well qualified man promoted over my head: his children were the same age as mine

When i had to work saturdays (month end closing) and had no childcare, happens occasionally, i took my DCs to work. Put them in the logistics office to play with the toy trucks and got on with my work. Apparently i was a bit rubbish for not having childcare.

The manager whose wife went on a hen-do for 3 days and whose mil couldn't cover one of them brought his daughter to work and promptly tried to fob her off onto me (only woman with kids) as he was too important and had to work. I told him to fuck off, and my boss told me i was mean and he was a great dad for looking after his kid

ad nauseum ad infinitun multiplied by millions of other women in the workplace. And now I'm nearing retirement age and have let my grey hair grow out? "well, surely now your DH is retired you'll want to spend more time with him" and "well, you won't want the extra stress of promotion now"

Fuck. That. Shit. We 2nd wavers thought we'd cut off all the heads of that hydra.

We've got political statements in permanent coloured font in signatures as well as pronouns. I saw one the other day that was from a she/her that said 'I stand in solidarity against bad treatment of humans....' or something along those lines, and I thought, well, don't we all unless we're sociopaths? Actually, putting 'I'm not a sociopath' would have been quicker to read.....it is work after all.

Compelling use of pronouns doesn't help trans people, or anyone questioning their identity.

Its not our job to help out trans people FFS 😂

i have not RTFT (well, not past about 2/3 of the way down the first page.

All the "so why not put the pronouns you want people to use"?
It is not about "pronouns"

When you are requested/asked/told to put your "preferred pronouns" in your email (or whatever) what you are really being requested/asked/told to say is either "I look like a woman but i want you to refer to me as a man" or "I look like a woman and i want you to refer to me as a woman" or "i look like a man but i want you to refer to me as a woman" or "i look like a man and i want you to refer to me as a man" or "i look like a man/woman [delete one] and i want you to pretend i look androgynous and refer to me with no sex-specific denomination at all"

ad infinitum

What they are saying, in essence, is "are you trans?"

What a fucking stupid thing for "corporate" to say. I have only once been asked for my pronouns. I said "i don't care" and that was that.

Wonderful advice. I may use this, thank you.
I’m resisting as I’ve never felt how society portray women, especially in recent years. But I’m definitely not male. Never want anyone to put me in a ‘box’

You've misunderstood/misread my point. I was suggesting - an interrogative suggestion - exactly what you are saying (I do research on discrimination against women for a living). You really need to read more carefully.

Right.

So you’ve just confirmed why there’s absolutely zero need for anyone to state their pronouns. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I always wondered if I could put darling/babe. I'd love to be called that (I'm an old and quite weathered lady)))

What a load of nonsense. No one is ashamed of people knowing they’re a woman and in the vast majority of cases it’s pretty bloody obvious that we’re women without having to put virtue signalling on our email signatures.

Personally I use my full first name on work emails to make it pretty clear to anyone who doesn’t actually know me that I’m a woman - I don’t need any other flags waving. I don’t have preferred pronouns because I really don’t give enough of a shit.

Ill carry on doing me

I don’t think I’ll get this request at work, but if I did I would reply along the lines of:

“I don’t agree with the normalisation of declaring preferred pronouns”

Then I’d add this to my email signature:

No preferred pronouns, please use the ones you feel are most appropriate.

Exactly.

Have you seen the episode of Atlanta where a black guy identifies as a white guy? It's great.

@HipTightOnions I think, as long as you are not being offensive to the male colleague, you can believe what you want. Our toilets are single unit unisex, so not an issue where I work. Also the trans people I work with are trans men and non binary, so not an issue either. I can care for people without agreeing with everything they say, as can we all.

Excellent point

I'm seeing it more and more at work (NHS) thankfully haven't been asked to do it, if we were I would just ignore it as I think I'd feel more comfortable putting my age and marital status! If someone puts they/them I make a mental note that's how they like to be referred to (or talked about!) - but the he/his's and the she/her's from the heteros are just woke bandwagon embarrassing. It's a work email! It's about the work not about you! Don't tend to see it from the Drs and Profs!

Meant "your" pronouns not your "pronouns".

Anyway...

Well, it does make sense to me if you're called Lesley, Alex or Billy etc AND fed up with being addressed incorrectly. So for those people it's probably great to preempt it rather than having to correct people (provided you feel that strongly about it)
But if you don't care or have a name where it's pretty obvious already then surely there is nothing to be gained from it.

But, I like my colleagues. If saying my pronouns makes them feel better about saying theirs, it is not a big deal for me.

What are the implications of a male colleague saying "her" pronouns?

Does everyone have to accept that "she" is a woman? Female? Uses the ladies'?

If you also state your "pronouns" are you signalling that you're ok with all this?

Its not just pronouns, is it?

I would say I’m not comfortable and that there are many protected characteristics in the Equality Act 2010 and it would not be helpful for everyone to put political statements, religious slogans and sexual preferences in our email signatures so why put pronouns (which signify a belief system that puts rapists in women’s prisons and surgically alters mentally unwell people). I would say it very politely (although would be ranting inside).

I am brown with a name no one can pronounce and which does not identify my gender. I don't feel the need to add that I am a brown woman on top of that.

I completely disagree with the whole ‘be an ally’ stance.

I am not here to prop up someone else’s belief that they can be another sex, because you cannot be another sex.

Being an ‘ally’ has been conflated with upholding people’s rights and against discrimination. It is the opposite of this in my view. It is saying that having your own beliefs, which are not discriminatory (such as believing that facts such as biological sex are indeed facts), is wrong. It’s unhealthy for society to be dictating other people’s beliefs that are not harming others.

LOL. Self-respect is the only one that matters to DH, and its entirely watertight.

I have a gender neutral name.
I work in a sector where women are routinely discriminated and disadvantaged.
I'm happy for people to make whatever assumptions they like but I don't need to advertise that I'm a woman.

People will realise I'm a woman when they meet me but initially I'm happy to them to treat me without bias

I get that people don't want to be forced into saying things, and agree it's not on. People get stressed when they lie, so forcing them to lie is affecting their physiology. But, I like my colleagues. If saying my pronouns makes them feel better about saying theirs, it is not a big deal for me. But if it's a big deal for you, you shouldn't have to.

Don't be so bloody disingenuous.