Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

On the point that people now know what a pronoun is, I wonder if anyone will start saying herself or himself.

You know - as in "myself and my friends went to the pub"

What I would love to say is that I’ve been raped, had abortions, given birth to multiple children, and been sexually harassed at work, and been paid less than my male coworkers, and on none of these occasions have I been misgendered. So I’m confident people can figure it out for themselves.

You'd probably be hauled in for a disciplinary for suggesting your pronouns are normal and trans ones aren't.

Could you say, "normal pronouns"?

one/it should cover it - gender-neutral, indefinite pronoun which abstains from the whole gender carry on.

I really welcome the feedback, thank you!

I'm still not brave enough to use it but will adapt it anyway in case I ever do need it.

@Bornin1989

I haven't used this at work yet, I meant it's an explanation I've given here a few times. The words change but the core is the same.

Honestly, if I were using my explanation at work I wouldn't put in my last paragraph because it's unnecessarily inflammatory. I'd hold it in reserve for a personal conversation if necessary.

Only you know your workplace, but on first reading I felt your explanation jumped too quickly to conflict/defense. It's like you are anticipating an argument that might not happen.

Personally I think it's enough to explain that currently Woman has two different meanings and that the meaning associated with declaring She/Her/Hers pronouns isn't something you feel you can honestly say applies to yourself. Then be prepared with the more detailed reasons around feminism if questions come up.

Or if you want to explicitly tie your position to your feminist beliefs upfront, maybe just drop paragraph 6? You know you are just trying to head off unfounded accusations of hate but the people you are trying to get through to will likely just read it as an admission.

I hope I haven't pulled the wind out of your sails! The thinking in your statement is not a waste, it is so important to get your thoughts properly in order. Just consider whether it's going to be effective to drop the whole TRA/GC debate in one go!

@FlirtsWithRhinos your post inspired what I'm contemplating putting a link to in my e-mail signature to so that people are taken to a word document to read "why I don't state pronouns". I don't think I'm brave enough to do it yet though!

This is what I've written. It's nowhere near as punchy as your version as I'm scared my workplace isn't ready for me to state my beliefs.

"She/her/hers are third person pronouns used to describe women and girls in English.

Currently, there are two conflicting definitions of the word “woman” (and “man”, but I will focus primarily on the word “woman”).

1. There is the sex-based definition; an adult, human female. A definition rooted in biological fact and an inescapable part of someone’s biological make-up, including genetic eye colour, hair colour and skin colour.
2. There is the mind-based definition; a person who feels female.

Personally, I have never “felt” female. I have no idea what it means to feel female, only to exist in a female body. I do not personally believe that it is possible to “feel” female or male, and those who think that they do, do so by way of accepting traditional gender stereotypes which feminism has been working hard to erase for a long time. By accepting the second definition, I would be in direct conflict of my feminist beliefs.

By declaring my pronouns, I would be signalling to others I am following a different belief system to my own (in the same way I wouldn’t wear a cross necklace, lest others believe I was a Christian).

These beliefs are often seen as hateful towards trans people. Women and men who believe in sex-based definitions of women are labelled “Trans exclusive Radical Feminism” (TERF) and, in return those showing these beliefs are often in receipt of hate themselves.

I am happy to accept that other people have different beliefs to the above in the same way my atheism allows me to work alongside, accept and respect those who follow a religion. I will work alongside colleagues who identify as trans or non-binary with acceptance and respect (including using their own chosen pronouns), and hope they respectfully accept my beliefs too."

Not RTFT but I noticed a woman at work had included Ka / Ren as her pronouns which made me giggle.

I work for a big tech outfit with 30k fellow workers. Recently we were offered free rainbow lanyards to virtue signal demonstrate our inclusivity chops.
I thought hmm seems like blue hair graduate make-work to me .
I sent an upbeat email saying yes please, because rainbows are cool, and if somehow me wearing a rainbow makes certain colleagues feel more at ease in the pale stale male corporate jungle, great!
I gave mine to my 5yo daughter. I work 100% from home and have never yet been to my office. When that day comes, I'll say to reception that I forgot mine and blag another one to wear.
I'm waiting for pronouns to come up. Mine will not be forthcoming.

Thanks! It might be a bit forward for my workplace, I think I'd get into trouble rather than opening a dialogue about other ways of thinking. There was a post above about there being two trains of thought regarding pronouns being based on sex or a gendered mind which I might add to a word document and link to in my email which I think lays out the argument in a way my seniors might digest with more acceptance

Thank you for this, it will keep me smiling all week :)

Stop!! You're making my head explode!!!

I saw the email signature of a man in a Hawaiian shirt with a full beard and moustache the other day had the pronouns she/they. I've never understood that, how do you know which one they want you to call them? I can get my head around using she in front of a female presenting transwomen to be polite but this was just...a dude.

@Transparent2 Sorry, sometimes I forget how to let go and I let the trivial shit get in front of the important stuff.

@ArabeIIaScott 😂where😂here rid that list come from

I'm trying to learn a language on Duolingo at the moment and these sentences are reminiscent of the ones I've been struggling over I.e. 'the chocolate biscuits, which are old, are in the box'. I'm blaming you lot for giving me the fear that I've dropped down the league!

But I was actually just taking the piss.

I wasn’t being entirely serious either.

This is his bicycle. It belongs to him. It is his. It it is him's.
This is her bicycle. It belongs to her. It is hers. It is her's.
This is their bicycle. It belongs to them. It is theirs. It is their's.

Contraction of English since about 1500.

Male possessive pronoun - his.
Plural possessive pronoun - their.
Female possessive pronoun - her.

But I was actually just taking the piss.

His is just an abbreviation of hims. It's just easier to get your lips around.

This is his bicycle. It belongs to him. It is his.

This is her bicycle. It belongs to her. It is hers.

Best pronouns yet!

You could be a bit more subtle and offer gee/cee.

If forced to do this at any point I'm going to choose a stupid one and then complain loudly to HR every time I'm misgendered.

https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/