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Original poster

Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

434 replies

HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 23/05/2023 13:11

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

OP posts:
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Time40 · 23/05/2023 15:25

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

I don't care which pronouns anyone uses for me, so I don't have preferred pronouns. I can't magically make myself care, or produce some preferred pronouns from nowhere - I'd be lying if I said that I had some.

PermanentTemporary · 23/05/2023 15:25

@Girlboss1989 for those of us who think it's regressive, sexist, an extra cognitive load and unnecessary, this is a significant decision. Like being asked to put your religion in your signature, or in my case being required to use Mrs instead of Ms when I don't want to.

ArabeIIaScott · 23/05/2023 15:23

Girlboss1989 · 23/05/2023 15:20

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

Some of us are unsure of what our pronouns are. What do we put?

PermanentTemporary · 23/05/2023 15:21

I think in something like this I would ask to see the policy covering it, to make sure you are fully compliant with it.

If the policy is that it's not compulsory, just keep saying that. If there is further pressure, ask if it is a client request or otherwise affects income of the organisation.

If, essentially, you are being asked to fit in and shut up, it's up to you. My view ultimately is that managers make these arbitrary decisions at times in order to demonstrate that they are doing something. I will always cut managers some slack because I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than manage anything. I personally wouldn't die on this hill. I know all the arguments against it and haven't put my emails on my signature. I think the idea that staff being virtuous at each other improves anything is ludicrous. But if it was that or lose my job, I'd do it.

Girlboss1989 · 23/05/2023 15:20

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

puffyisgood · 23/05/2023 15:07

tell the powers-that-be that you're trans/ identify the other way, and have no wish to either: (a) out yourself, in this cruel, transphobic world; or (b) lie/mis-gender yourself.

Original poster
HowDoIGetThisThingOff · 23/05/2023 14:41

Thank you @ArabeIIaScott

OP posts:
ArabeIIaScott · 23/05/2023 13:12

Compelling use of pronouns doesn't help trans people, or anyone questioning their identity. It's specifically advised against in Yogyakarta principle 6.

https://yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6/

f) Ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others.

Principle 6 – Yogyakartaprinciples.org

https://yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6