Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

If you work in a big organisation with hundreds of employees, many of whom you may need to interact with on a daily basis, do you look up each individual’s email signature to see what they’ve listed as their pronouns? Or maybe theres a huge list in the staff room of everyone’s name with corresponding pronouns?

"I don't feel comfortable sharing preferred pronouns at this stage".

There's nothing that can be said to that which isn't inappropriate or intrusive, especially as the "at this stage" suggests you may be about to come out as having one of those identities which must be tiptoed around and deferred to.

I haven't been asked to yet by my organisation but my answers will be -

'Women are already vulnerable to stereotype threat in the workplace so I will not be deliberately highlighting my protected characteristic in order to disadvantage myself'. (If I'm being polite)

Or

'I don't follow that particular belief system' (if I've had enough)

I know @MrsTerryPratchett. I'm not dim. But I'm also not denying that people get missexed by people who don't bother at work.

There is always the option of choosing some really interesting neopronoun and rigorously policing the use of them.

• Xe/xem/xyrs/xemself
• Xy/xyr/xyrs/xyrself
• Hi/hir/hirs/hirself
• Ze/zir/zirs/zirself
• Ey/em/eirs/emself
• Ne/nem/nems/nemself
• Fae/faer/faers/faerself
• Ae/aer/aers/aerself
• Thon/thon/thon/thonself
• Per/per/pers/perself
• Ve/ver/vers/verself
• Zee/zed/zeta/zetas/zedself

Also I am not always aware of what names from other cultures imply about sex in that culture.

Google Baby Names. It works.

@determinedtomakethiswork I've certainly sent emails saying stuff like 'Jane, I'm copying you in because Dawn said you were interested in this project. She told me that you were on a similar team in your last job' etc. Of course pronouns get used.

Also I am not always aware of what names from other cultures imply about sex in that culture.

I got asked to do this and just said 'no, thank you." and it was never mentioned again. Just say no.

Points for #BeKind

Guaranteed this poster will come back and say "but how does it affect you/why does it bother you/what difference does it make to you?"

Play the game - for pronouns put ‘not decided yet, just use my name for now’

I just don't understand it with emails. If someone is talking about you then wouldn't they just use your name? And if your name is very typically female or male, then why are pronouns needed?

I am very GC anyway, so I wouldn't include mine.

Yes, true. Ignoring has worked for me fine so far.

There are two approaches I would consider

1. i am uncomfortable making a pronoun declaration.
2. women are still discriminated against in the workplace and I refuse to engage in a practice that draws attention to the sex of employees

1. leaves it vague and makes it possible that you could even be trans. They can’t argue with this one.
2. this is the reason I asked my husband not to participate in this farce. He decided to just list his pronouns much to my chagrin

at my workplace they remain optional, but are becoming increasingly common. I’m not sure which approach I will take if they force the issue.

I'm very tempted to put they/them. Because being a middle-aged woman, the chances anyone will use them is zero. I've noticed that actually no one does anyway unless policed. I work with someone with they/them remotely. Everyone, even the wokest of woke staff slip into she/her when chatting in the office.

I spoke to my manager about them, she's happy I'm not. It's a hill I will get slightly wounded on.

Same.

My organisation (university, Ireland) has been doing lots of 'encouragement' (memos, Sway presentations, all staff emails) and 'offering' (strongly suggesting attendance) EDI courses.

I have just ignored. So far, we are not yet, here, at the point of any compulsion, or any conflict between GC / trans beliefs ... there's a reasonably peaceful co-existence ...ish.

Well I'd put they them because that's how I would prefer anyone who buys into gender to think about me

They then meet their targets and you will
Sharp find out how few people take any notice

@HowDoIGetThisThingOff
I think the advice from a pp about checking policy to see whether it's compulsory to state your pronouns is great advice and should be your first step. If it's not compulsory, just say that it isn't compulsory and you won't be doing it. No reasons need to be given. If it is compulsory, or they keep on at you, go the route of discrimination against protected characteristic, harassment etc.

I wouldn't quote yogykarta or say you're not comfortable outing yourself or anything like that. You don't believe in the nonsense and that is enough. Never mind about trying to speak their language, as it were.

I will be ignoring anything like this I am requested to do.

I'm waiting for the instruction. When it comes I'll be putting: "my pronouns are I and me"

I agree with @Blackandwhitehorse just say you're not comfortable doing that.

"Comfortable" covers a lot of bases these days.

Or just ignore any follow up

Why don't you just include whichever pronouns you want people to use for you?

Would you ask someone to put their marital status, religion, sexuality, or if they were pregnant on their email signature?

What's the point of them? Who really cares?

just say you’re not comfortable with it. They can infer anything from that, from someone gender critical to someone questioning their gender identity