Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

I like any of the above. Or Bencooperssupportwren’s idea to say “I don’t feel comfortable at this stage” or Ptooshe’s suggestion “I don’t feel safe” — all excellent replies.

or…. Just say “my pronouns are “I/me”

I was asked to do this and I very politely declined for “personal reasons”. It was never mentioned again. I have since noticed that I am not the only person in my office to not display their pronouns. Not by a country mile.

You just tell the boss or the do gooder in HR that it's incredibly triggering for you, and that the question and expectation of an explanation is causing you anxiety. It's not a lie!

At least everyone now knows what a pronoun is.

My pronouns are Emporess/Majesty .. FIGHT ME!

I prefer the option of refusing to do this (saying 'not comfortable' etc). But, I do think that if every middle age woman started putting ridiculous pronouns in their bios/signatures etc etc this would die a death pretty quickly. Companies are desperate to be seen to be supporting 20-something women who id as non-binary or trans and over 50s men who decide they are women. But they are less keen on addressing 49 year old Julie from accounts, who has a bit of middle aged spread and loves Gary Barlow, as ze/zem and even less enthusiasm about her coming into the men's loos.

What if you don’t ‘want’ any of them because you don’t care? What if you don’t ‘want’ to play their dumb games. Who is going to use them anyway? I got a letter recently with the signature including in brackets (she/her). Why should I care that this person who I’m never going to meet is a she/her? When am I ever going to need to know that? What the heck does it matter to me what the Dept head of a council prefers as a pronoun on their letters? I thought this shite was stopping!

The woman she misgendered identifies as non binary, not as a psychiatric ward!

I'm still thinking about it. I don't know how long it will take for me to decide what I'm comfortable with. Right now, I'm most comfortable not having any pronouns. Is that okay?

Some trans people care very much indeed @KalimbaMoon. As do the police.

This woman - who had severe MH issues following an horrifically abusive relationship with a transwoman has been contacted by the police for misgendering another woman who identifies on a psychiatric ward.

reduxx.info/woman-abused-by-trans-identified-male-contacted-by-police-after-misgendering-non-binary-patient-while-in-hospital/

If you were unsure then you could just use they/them since that is gender neutral. But the nature of language is that pronouns are used as an identifier and only you will know what you are most comfortable with other people calling you. They're also not set in stone, it's just to help people be more respectful by using the terms you would like to be used.

You could go the other way and put them all in.

he/him/she/her/they/them/ze/zem

id be really interested if anyone would ‘have a word’ if you did.

Because I’m not religious. Are we compelled to declare we are, now?

Maybe put them all down or say you identify as a lamppost/animal
of choice/Greek god or goddess, or both. No one can say anything. We can all identify as anything after all

Yes.

tell them your pronoun is fuck off

i despair

@PermanentTemporary

I have worked with many cultures where neither they nor I knew each others sex for many months / years until we met face to face

No one ever indicated any concerns at being a default male

Sone of us ( just the females surprisingly) felt it liberating and it certainly made working together easier

Sex ms gender should be irrelevant in work and you really should go examine your conscious and unconscious bias if you feel it's important to you or anyone else

Harvard business school used to have some good resources

It has been proven that there is unconscious bias towards women in the workplace. Women’s emails are more likely to be ignored while men get a quicker and more courteous response. Putting she/her on your signature is ramming home the message that you’re a woman, ready to be discriminated against.

Do trans people give a flying eff anyway? Imagine forcing a closet transgender person, or anyone questioning their gender identity, to state their pronouns. I can imagine they’d hate it. If you’re gender-fluid your pronouns might change from day to day, so that’s a lot of admin work keeping your email signature up to date!

I think you’re entitled to politely refuse and I agree with the advice recommending you say that you’re not comfortable with it. This virtue signalling is a load of unhelpful bunkum.

I would only put my pronouns on my signature if I actually thought it would help someone, perhaps if I had an ambiguous name that could be considered both m/f, I work with a lot of autistic adults and the ones I’ve helped like to know if a person is a male or female.

I would firstly ignore, and if reminded (hassled) say no thank you.

My sex has no factor on any element of my job. Therefore my pronouns are not required in order for me and others to work effectively together.

I file this under the same as which political party I would vote, whether I have a religion etc. Its unnecessary data, on me, that is not required in order for everyone to perform their duties at work.

Luckily at my work it is nominally optional, although I am one of only two people who don't out of a team of aprox 60.

I have just ignored all emails suggesting it, and "forgotten" to mention them in meetings when invited to share them and no one internal has ever pushed - it probably helps that I'm quite senior and have really short hair! I've once had an external trainer challenge me publicly when I "forgot" to share them and I just replied with "that's a really personal question when we've only just met" and she backed down.

Interestingly our very woke social media team clearly don't check before quoting people as I've several times been quoted as she/her on socials even though I don't have them and have never been asked by them. Almost makes you think that you can work it out by looking doesn't it ;-)

I'm planning to continue dodging it for as long as possible but if it ever gets pushed to the point where I'm forced onto the spot I'm going to say "I don't think changing our policy to make this mandatory is a good idea. I'm pretty sure that forcing people to identify protected characteristics on their email signature wouldn't stand up in a tribunal".

Say that putting your pronouns would make you feel 'unsafe'.

Feeling 'unsafe' is apparently a big deal these days.

I would ignore in the first instance. If they pursued this I would come at it from the angle that I am not interested in policing the language of others and they can use whichever pronouns they deem appropriate.

I've studiously ignored this request at work. In my team of 20, only the senior manager (male and desperate to climb the greasy pole) and most junior staff member (female, ND and gay as it happens) have complied.

I'm slowly outing myself as GC at work....