How many gender critical feminists are actually 'out'

Totally out. Don't particularly raise the issue unless it is relevant but make no bones about it. Call me a TERF. Don't care. Call me a bigot. Don't care.

But I am elderly and of a generation who always understood biology but did what we wanted anyway.

I was the archetypal 'tomboy' as a kid. Into cars, motor racing, sports etc. Still am. But never, even at the age of 7, did I think I was really a boy. Why not? Because even then I understood biology.

I was genuinely progressive as in "I will like what I want to like and do what I want to do." It has nothing to do with gender, or sex as we called it then.

By contrast, the trans movement is regressive. It turns progressive thinking on so-called gender on its head by pretending that if you are non-gender conforming you have to change your body and not your mindset.

I refuse to "be kind" . Colluding in a lie is not kind as those who do the whole transition will discover when they find they are sterile and anorgasmic with risks of crumbling bones, messed up lungs and blood clots.

And yes, I have stood up to the "I think I pass "- no love you really don't, bloke I encountered in the ladies' loo a year or so back. He stood behind me staring at me in the mirror and smirking so I told him that unless he fucked off my heel was going to come in close contact with a tender part of his anatomy. He left. Guess he didn't fancy an encounter with a woman of the wartime generation with a few decades on the clock and nothing to lose.

I understand that many younger women may be nervous because of historical issues or a nervous temperament and reluctant to act if they are on their own because of the risk of violence. But what I don't understand in the changing room debacle is when a whole team of women encounter a lone AGP is why they don't physically chuck him out. Why be embarasssed? Get mad, bloody mad. If enough women did this it would do a lot to turn the tide. These pervs are targetting women because they think we are easy targets and pawns in their fetish. The sooner we show them we're not, the sooner they will get the message.

I am quiet about my views except in the company of people who I know agree with me. This is because I am part of a fairly small arts community where I live, which is wholly captured by gender ideology, and where one influential person has a child with a transgender identity. Before I started reading and finding out about the whole trans issue, I posted JKR's essay on FB because it made sense to me and was flatly told that TWAW and #nodebate. If I want to be part of that community (which I do) I have to keep my head down. This is cowardly, I admit. I tend to stick to asking "innocuous" questions.

I'm out and have been for years. I've yet to meet anyone who disagrees with me.

Still missing the point. I’m not going to try to explain it to you. I just need you to know that you are just very far removed from what I was saying. Just forget that I even shared the comment. I’m sorry that I brought it up because you seem to be trying to make a point that is not relevant.

I would lose my job and friends.

On Facebook since I first heard about Lily Madigan and couldn't quite believe what was happening. Then seeing LGBTQ (not yet the whole alphabet) posters around school. I didn't often visit FWR in those days but came to see if there was a view and there was.

I haven't lost any real friends. I have argued online with ex-colleagues about JKR. But importantly several people made DM contact to tell me about their own experiences and I have been able to signpost struggling parents to The Bayswater Group and to Genspect. So I was "out" before all the back lash became huge or before I was aware of it. Just before Maya's sacking. No point going back now. Have thought about these issues for a long time. The challenge as the western world changes around us is how to hold on to sanity at all! Every out GC person is a blessing, not only to others, but to those youngsters who really need to hear about reality. The more of us the easier it will become.

I’m out and most people agree

For me it is not an “in group” term or one of endearment. The best parallel is SWERF and I don’t think anyone has tried to reclaim this in the same way.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

“My best friends would not do that in a million years.”

You missed the point completely but that’s okay.

I can see why you would see TERF as a slur. I remember the first time someone called me a TERF I literally cried.

It's not about fear of the word as such it is simply that it does not describe my position and it is a word foisted on me/us and not one that I care to reclaim.

I guess it’s kind of like the difference between a cruel man calling a woman a slut and your best girl friend endearingly calling you a dirty slut for scoring a hot date with a good looking guy and winking at you.

My best friends would not do that in a million years.

Out at work but I’m in education so I have to sit on my hands when the very very kind people start talking. I have allies there but it’s still hard at times. I want to shout from the rooftops and I think I might start quite soon…

Not on social media.

Am getting to the stage where I don’t want to be friends with people who think human beings can change sex. Thankfully, most of my friends are politely bemused by their offspring and we shake our heads about them when they’re not there. To be fair, I bet they shake their heads about us!

I'm only out to some of my friends, and totally out in my karate club.

The karate club is the most refreshing- all straightforward-thinking people, who can't be doing with the outright lies. It can lead to deep discussions such as would s/he put on a chest guard for sparring? Or a groin guard? S/he should put on the former, but I rather suspect they'd want to don the latter. I'm given to understand that a kick in the knackers is rather painful, while I know from experience that a kick in the ladygarden makes one wince, but no more than that.

I can see why you would see TERF as a slur. I remember the first time someone called me a TERF I literally cried. I remember realizing I was gender critical and being terrified of who would call me that. Then was a point though when I came to accept myself for my new feelings and viewpoints and then I kind of started owning it and then I wasn’t afraid of the word anymore and I actually started thinking it sounded kind of cool and rebellious. Lol

Now I’m not saying that your feelings should change about the word or that it’s any less unpleasant when TRA’s are calling us that. But I thought I would share this increasing perspective and relationship I have experienced with this word.

I guess it’s kind of like the difference between a cruel man calling a woman a slut and your best girl friend endearingly calling you a dirty slut for scoring a hot date with a good looking guy and winking at you. One is demeaning the other is teasing and friendly.

I am out to my husband and extended family and they’re cool with it. Then again I am Texan so I have that advantage. I’ve been slowly coming out to my friends one by one. Two of them stopped talking to me and blocked me on all of their accounts. A few of them are pretty cool with it. Considering a couple were pretty mad I think I might have to come out all at once to the rest of them because it’s likely if they aren’t already gossiping about what a dirty transphobic traitor I am they will be soon. Lol

(Oh the cousin is more GC than I am tbh)

I'll say what I think if anyone asks me directly in a reasonable way. It doesn't happen a lot but eg a cousin of mine whose child has transitioned surgically knows my overall views, but also knows that the priority from my perspective is to maintain a relationship with an extremely troubled child rather than 'win' any kind of verbal exchange.

I'm out to friends and family. And the ladies at my sports club. 😀

I would get sacked from work so I am only out to a couple of very close colleagues.

My Twitter is anonymous and full on TERF but m I'm very careful about what I like or post on Facebook.

Yes I am one. I can't be out at work but I also have responsibility for checking documents for accuracy at work - and will change gender back to sex when reference is made to the Equality Act protected characteristics.

but she’s so firmly in the “Be Kind” camp that she can’t even hear anything against gender ideology. She’s a middle aged lesbian who has suffered at the hands of men, but prefers to prioritise men, which I can’t get my head round.

What is that all about? I know a few of these too.

I'm out, but to me, TERF is a slur (I do not use the term to describe myself) and my take on gender criticality is nuanced (I am not so much a GC feminist as a feminist whose perspective on the 'trans issue' aligns with a gender-critical approach) and I'm also a socialist feminist so being 'out' involves some complexities in explaining what 'out' means for me.

I'm out. Work was never a problem (thanks, Maya ⭐though I was never challenged about my "belief" that humans can't change sex). One of my adult children is all about the rainbow but I'm sure there's an element of defying her bossy GC oldest sister involved there. DH has my back, and my front, and both sides. I've had a few acquaintances take against me, which was a risk I decided I had to accept, but gained or reinforced other friendships.

Not really. Only to close family, and even then I have spent several years being pretty cagey about my views in front of teen dd. I certainly wouldn't be 'out' at work. I'm a secondary school teacher. I'm sure some of my colleagues would agree with me, but it's not something I'd be comfortable sharing. My (lovely) school did make it policy (before guidance came out) that we were not to use name or pronoun changes for students unless they had been officially okayed by parents , which I was happy about.

I'm not exactly out on social media either, though I often 'like' or sometimes share posts by people who are.

I'm still in the GC closet. Only my close family know my views but wider friends and colleagues don't and certainly not on social media.

I bet there are thousands of us who quietly say nothing whilst signing petitions, writing to MPs and gardening.

I'm 'out'. Not overtly so on FB (FB for me is for daft memes/friends) but on Twitter and Tiktok, absolutely out. I also have the privilege of not worrying about losing my job etc. My family are majority GC too. Not vocal like me, but supportive and aggreable of my views. As a parent, I'd judge you if you didn't have the views you do tbh. Sex is immutable. No child is born in the wrong body. Females need spaces away from males. The end.

I’ve never been ‘in’. My friends and I had very early exposure to the opposite phenomenon ( think 35 to 50 years), and our mutual experience has not led to enthusiasm.

Even in the most lefty progressive company, if you speak out to defend your views, you will find at least a couple of friends through it who feel the same.

(Unless you work for Mermaids or something)