Work DEI response: single-sex toilets

If you read around a bit Maddy, you'll find the reasons and issues experienced by female people not quite as lucky as you are, and who haven't been able to just be oblivious to all this. And who can't just stop needing to pee etc because male people need female spaces for validation purposes and apparently cannot cope with a compromise situation to meet other people's inclusion needs as well as their own.

I honestly don't understand why the toilets are such an issue in most of the workplaces I have been in we just had "toilets"

They weren't assigned sex or gender just toilets

OP I think your approach of doing it on teams and recording it is by far the best. Good luck, I hope it goes well

Do ask for the meeting to be videoed. You also need to make a note (the video may disappear). It may be difficult to take a note whilst the meeting is going on, so aim to do it straight afterwards; write down everything you can remember and then sign and date it.

If you take a note at the meeting (assuming it's not recorded), then after the meeting you can very quickly send an email setting out what was said at the meeting and asking any necessary questions to confirm / clarify what was said. Then you'll have a written record which the HR person will have to disagree with in writing, or will essentially be deemed to have agreed with. You can then add anything necessary to what was said at the meeting (eg refer to research, Cass, etc).

This nonsense is why I quit my HEI D&I role. I now work with one specific PC rather than all of them and I am not responsible for D&I anymore, that's someone else leading on that. We ate mostly WFH which also helps although our pride network does lots of trans web talks (I'm far too busy sadly)

Good luck and well done.

Be sure to make them squirm by asking for anything they say in writing for reference.

I am getting "lets do this verbally for plausible deniability" vibes. 😒 When my manager wants to do this, she phones or comes to see us rather than reply to my impertinent email. 😄

This is the policy in my workplace as well. In fact if I object to sharing with trans identifying men, I will be re-educated and told to find other facilities elsewhere in the building. (paraphrasing ever so slightly)

I would check. Ask for his definitions of 'transwomen' and 'transmen'.

I suggest you go in with a precis of your concerns, which you can either just use as a reminder, or can give to HR if appropriate. Depending on how things go, it may be appropriate to take a listening approach to this meeting, and then to formulate a written response after the meeting.
Do you know what the purpose of the meeting is? If not, then presumably it will either be to discuss your concerns, or it will be to criticise you for "hassling" the equality and diversity person, or for having the "wrong" views.

Good luck, OP. Assuming you can't take a colleague in with you, try to take a note of what is said. Then you can if appropriate confirm it by email after the meeting.

What a sadist sexist abilest git.

Exactly. I'd like to see what the impact assessment (if any, and I doubt there is one) says about women and, in particular, Muslim women. And I think OP said they're thinking of using the disabled toilets for anyone who doesn't want to use the now unisex loos. In which case, what about the impact on disabled people?

Great email OP.

I would bet good money they've not thought for more than 5 seconds of the impact on various groups of women and there being no Equality Impact Assessment. And that 'consultation' involved talking to a lot of very pushy lobby groups and no real attempt to find out the views of the silent majority.

Yes, of course, because they belong to the class of human that is entitled, commits 98% of crimes and can get violent when provoked. And a particularly demanding and unkind subset of that class to boot.

It’s really unfortunate that TW have been enabled and encouraged by the likes of Stonewall and other TRAs to expect full, unfettered entitlement to female spaces. If it had never crossed their minds and they instead just happily used unisex or male facilities and stayed out of women’s sports, we’d all be co-existing harmoniously.

Thanks to the tub-thumping TRAs, many of whom are not even trans but just self-identified cis social justice warriors, we find ourselves in a situation where respecting women’s rights and women-only spaces is basically being very unkind and transphobic. Language is being eroded. Gender is being used as an alternative word for sex - but without retaining the meaning of the word sex.

Now you have businesses, health and educational establishments opening single-sex facilities to TW with no questions asked because they’re confused about what they’re legally entitled to do. People are terrified to put their head above the parapet, and no wonder.

He's petrified to exclude transwomen.

How exasperating, OP. I'm so grateful my DC are too old for me (or them) to be involved with this rubbish.

This looks great, OP, and I can't wait to see their response.

No, I agree, which is why I phrased it for clarity. Its like when a survey asks "does your gender identity match your sex at birth?" and you're like, huh, I can't answer that question.

But I think that is a second order problem relative to the DEI person going "people can self-identify into the toilets they prefer, and the toilets are single sex, and we have always been at war with Eastasia".

(Although presumably they can't call the toilets single gender since the law requires workplace toilets to be single sex?)