Teacher made to apologise - “good afternoon girls”

I agree.

I think if you want to transition then you cannot attend an all sex school.

I feel like there needs to be a law that all schools go by that states that all schools must treat the students as the sex they were born.

If they want their friends to call them something different or change their name when they’re older then that’s up to them but whilst they’re under 18 they have to be called their names and sex by school staff.

If there is body dysphoria then that should be dealt with as it should be with any student regardless of gender issues.

I think some posters are overestimating what individual teachers can do.
The Deputy Head or Head of Year makes the call that it is a 'genuine risk' to tell the student's parents.

Just because some people do this, doesn't make it good (or even legal) practice. Teachers are regulated by professional standards, they have a legal duty to pass on safeguarding concerns to the DSL. Random people can't just decide a child is at risk from parents.

We are overdue an Ofsted (last was 14 years ago). I’m just hoping something will be flagged then.

Well then, flag it. They aren't psychic and that's the very least a teacher can do with concerns.

I just couldn't apologise for something like that. That would be going against all my core values.

OP I’m at teacher at an international school in Europe and my school (and the whole IB actually) is equally captured. I’ve had similar situations to what you describe.

Posting here in solidarity. You’re not alone. I’m seriously considering employment at a Catholic school here because I can’t bear it anymore. Until you’ve had your livelihood threatened (which also affects my visa) for ‘misgendering’, it’s hard to relate.

I have a very difficult student who believe they are trans (M-F).
(I personally think they hate themselves rather than hate being M but that’s just my opinion).

He regularly self harms and has been admitted to hospital several times for trying to take his own life.

All he wants to do is be called a girls name, have long hair and paint his nails.

The parents are completely against it (which is understandable).
But I find it a really difficult balance between not going against the parents and having to worry about him being in the bathroom for so long and watching his every move knowing that he’s going to try and hurt himself.

Dad is vile and abusive and mum is more open but is scared of dad but goes along with it.
In a private meeting with mum she agreed that we could shorten his name (eg Joesph to Joey) and that he can use the disabled toilet to get changed in but that his dad is not to know and when dad is there we use his full name.

I absolutely hate it because I’m constantly battling between what I think is right and keeping him safe.

Fortunately I don’t have many students with trans issues (SEND) and so I don’t have to deal with this regularly but I don’t know how mainstream teachers cope and it is almost impossible to not flip up and say their Christian name.

Unfortunately as teachers we have no guidance over things like this.

The irony of a teacher who works at a girls' school having to apologise for calling her pupils girls...

If the child is not considered to be a girl, then it makes no sense for them to be in a girls' school.

Or perhaps the girls' school needs to rebound to call itself a school for ? "girls and some boys"? The mind boggles.

I do have genuine sympathy for children with gender dysphoria, and I would hope that all teachers would be sensitive and kind to a child identifying as trans. However, I don't think we are doing our kids any favours by trying ourselves in knots to pretend that girls aren't girls and boys aren't boys.

I’m just reading updated posts and I’m so sorry if my own post is anti-teacher in any way. I just feel like those who should be allowed to make good, well-informed, and safe decisions are at the mercy of this crazy ideology compromising safety, rationality, and good decision making. I’m preaching to the converted and my concerns are almost boring because they’ve been expressed by too many without any effect.

I would have given anything to have just one teacher tell us what was going on.

There is also the issue of what happens when the child has a sibling at the school:

• Do schools keep a social transition secret from siblings where the parents are not told? If so, how does the school manage this when the entire school community knows?

• Or will the sibling be informed but told to keep it secret from their parents? That isn’t acceptable and would be detrimental to any family, including the well-being of the sibling.

• Or will parents need to be told when there is a sibling? This questions the justification of treating parents without more than one child at the school in a different manner

• There is also the question of whether schools will attempt to coerce a sibling to support the social transition. Will they be deemed transphobic if they don’t support it?

In our case, our son was told “in confidence” that his sister was now a boy at school and he was expected to keep this from us (he didn’t).

I understand this and it is a really difficult decision. Much easier to make a stand if you are financially stable for example than if you are heavily reliant on your wage and have no buffer.

I left social work because I didn’t like the way I was forced to work against my values and the code of ethics we signup to as social workers. However as I social worker I did feel able to question my manager and senior managers if there were decisions made that I disagreed with. I always recorded these things too. Also our LA was so desperate for social workers they wouldn’t risk losing a good one unless there was a good reason. I’m hearing that teaching sounds quite different and that individual teachers have little power over their own practice. That’s so sad and not in the best interests of children either.

Disciplinary for not abiding to safeguarding.

Bollocks. Union reps only raise issues they are are asked to but you can take anything you like to the local union office as well.

You can't be disciplined for a safeguarding breach of you do things properly.

Get union advice but my ball park estimate would be: if you raise your concerns internally, follow any written policy the child is under 16 you can't be disciplined for discussing a kid with her parents.

I can absolutely say that 'pastoral' can't order a qualified teacher to apologise to a child.

You are very lucky and our school sounds great. All the very best to you.

I agree. SLT - captured. Unions - captured. Many younger teachers- captured. Teachers have nowhere to turn on this so I fully appreciate what the OP is saying.
If you complain you put a target on your back for 'intolerance' and 'transphobia'.
Teachers have been well and truly fucked over.

I would call their bluff and say this school is for girls only and if anyone here is not a girl, they have to leave. I think that would focus minds somewhat. Of course, I know schools won't do that and parents would protest if they did. That is because, deep down, no one really believes a single girl at that school is not a girl. They are playing along with it and I don't believe that is right, nor is it in the interests of the children.

This is very common all over the place. Parents have no idea what is going on and the narrative is that the student might be at risk of harm from 'transphobic' parents.

This, 100%. Wish I worked in your school @Boomboom22 !

I think some posters are overestimating what individual teachers can do.
The Deputy Head or Head of Year makes the call that it is a 'genuine risk' to tell the student's parents. Class teachers do not get told the reasons for this, it is deemed confidential info and so can't challenge it.
And the poster who said 'how would you want your children to be treated' yes this worries me but right now I need my job to feed them and keep a roof over our heads. Things do not go well for teachers who refuse to comply with pastoral edicts from senior leadership, it is career and life ruining.

❤️

Thank fuck for you and others like you!

Actually many heads do get it and we could be in legal hot water if we socially transition behind a parents back. In my school the safeguarding leads have sent out a few reminders not to do this when I have highlighted it is without a parents knowledge. I love my school.