Teacher made to apologise - “good afternoon girls”

We don’t challenge pupils anymore in case it affects their mental health - about anything!

My nephew has OCD, the advice my DSis and BIL received is very clear; do not accommodate his obsessions and compulsions. It is easier said than done but if you accommodate them then you validate them (eg that his sister will die if his clothes get contaminated from touching against something else deemed ‘dirty’ which is pretty much everything). And if you validate an obsession it just gets worse - to the point he ends up hospitalised.

Not challenging pupils may well affect their mental health negatively.

Why are DfE so captured?

Is it an alliance to the left thing

Gender ideology seems utterly rife in left organisations and parties

DfE cannot be on a skeleton staff such that this guidance hasn't been done for years. That just can't be it. We know they were Stonewalled to the eyeballs. We also know they did manage to produce some decent non-statutory guidance on planning sex education classes. They can do this. But should they? Or do they even want to? Whatever, someone has to get a grip and it cannot be allowed to drift any longer.

Best of luck. Write down the conversations you have. When speakign to SLT- speak their language: best interests of the kid, best practice (and take the governement guidance with you), professional standards- very hard for them to argue with that.

At this point I feel like DfE should be in special measures. Or broken up. Or overseen by a department capable of both engaging brain, and saying no to TRAs both inside and out.

It's not that simple. Imagine if the entire NHS was run by central government with no NHS England, no NIHCE, no CMO, no commisioning bodies or trusts- just indiviual practices and hospitals.

Schools used to be overseen by LEAs, now most of their function is gone and the DfE is on a skeleton staff. There really isn't much of a governance or management structure at all outside of unaccountable academy chains and individual heads.

We don’t challenge pupils anymore in case it affects their mental health

Whatever you do, find another school ASAP.

The sooner the DfE gets its act together and sort out this mess and stops putting teachers and other kids at risk the better.

At this point I feel like DfE should be in special measures. Or broken up. Or overseen by a department capable of both engaging brain, and saying no to TRAs both inside and out.

"In our case, our son was told “in confidence” that his sister was now a boy at school and he was expected to keep this from us (he didn’t)."

God what are these people thinking?

I don’t know what we can do to fight this. Poor dc

Asking/encouraging in my school means “do it”.

No, it doesn't- unless you allow it to. You are a qualified teacher, you can't be told to do anything against your professional judgement of the child's best interest.

(I recently apologised to a child for exactly the same thing. Entirely my idea because I judged that I would only get a very volatile child, new to me, on side by meeting her on her terms. Now I've got a decent relationship with her. Presumably this member of SLT thought they were helping)

That incident has gone now, I wouldn't personally be too bothered by the 'making me apologise' so much as the issue of what's happening to the kids.

If your school is transitioning kids, without parental requests to do so and without informing them, it is your professional duty to whistleblow. Just make sure you know the full situation first, follow the written procedures and the advice of a union Case Officer.

I know that sounds really selfish.

I know exactly how hard things get. You do not sound at all selfish. Look after your own wellbeing and do only what you can- but you can probably do more than you think.

@rogdmum

"In our case, our son was told “in confidence” that his sister was now a boy at school and he was expected to keep this from us (he didn’t)."

Wow. That is so outrageous that my instinct is to disbelieve it. (To be clear, I do believe you! Just, wow. WOW.) Insane to ask that of a child. Both your kids have been badly failed by that school.

I understand that. I was thinking about the removal of parental rights / responsibilities which are enshrined in law. The parents of every child in care of the state retains PR and must be consulted by social workers about all decisions, sign consent forms etc - unless the courts say otherwise.

The idea that teachers can suddenly remove this right from parents is nonsensical, but as has been clearly evidenced on this thread, the capture of the education establishment by trans activist groups has resulted in all this and made it really difficult for parents to insist on their rights being respected and safeguarding being the priority.

I’m a teacher and I have to apologise to a student for inadvertently calling a student by birth name and not chosen name. (Was early in school year and was calling the register in auto pilot). Had email from pastoral about how upset I had made them feel. I fell on tenterhooks round this student - especially at parent’s evening and reports as their parents are unaware so I have to use birth names. This is the worst that’s happened to me - I really feel for this teacher.

This is outrageous @MrsMurphyIWish I really feel for you.

And your school deliberately conceals things about their children from parents. That is also outrageous and a serious safeguarding issue.

Its not selfish. Don't suggest its selfish.

Its kids pushing boundaries.

Honestly we wonder about why there are teacher shortages then we have this shit where teachers are supposed to put themselves at risk of disclipinary or breach safeguarding. Its an impossible choice and its one so many people won't put themselves in.

DH knows another leader in scouts who has come across an aggressively trans kid who has been utterly militant about identity. He's considering quitting.

The sooner the DfE gets its act together and sort out this mess and stops putting teachers and other kids at risk the better. Putting boundaries back in place so these kids won't be able to push their luck and get special treatment is liable in itself to eventually discourage transition (after the inital full on toddler tantrum thats almost inevitable when guidance is changed).

Have you read Asleep at the Wheel by the Policy Exchange and the Cass Interim Report - not teaching you to suck eggs, but they are good starting points.

I'm happy for you to DM me if it would be helpful. I'm happy to give you a steer about how to go about challenging it if you want to.

I am a union rep and a teacher of 20 years but I would add the caveat that I'm a random off t'internet. You should speak to a union Case Officer (not rep) before taking any action more than chatting to people informally.

It was a DSL who asked me to apologise to the pupil.

An ADSL or The DSL? A member of SLT or a HoY? The situation is very different depending on this.

Also, anyone can ask you to do anything. That is not the same as Directing you.

I suppose I'm hoping (given how appallingly some schools / teachers are behaving) that a case will be taken against a school.

There are two barriers to that.

First, if staff are acting from genuine concern, it would be hard to prove extreme negligence in an area which is disputed among medical professionals, with weak guidance and where the child is coming to no physical harm. Poor practice is not, in itself, enough to bring a lawsuit.

Second, the child would need to bring the case. Often they don't realise they've been harmed for many years, if ever.

I suppose I'm hoping (given how appallingly some schools / teachers are behaving) that a case will be taken against a school. There's lots of legal support available now & the evidence of schools acting outside the law is immense. Having said that, I understand why individuals must protect both their careers and their children first.