Page 10 | Young adults who identify as asexual feel excluded from the wider LGBTQ community

IwantToRetire · 2023-04-07T00:03:42+00:00

^From a survey of 3,695 young adults aged 18-25 27% said they “rarely or never” feel a part of the LGBTQ community. Aside from those who said they were questioning their sexual or gender identity, asexual people were most likely to say this.^ ^18% said they “rarely” felt included and 9% said they “never” felt included.^ ^30% of asexual young adults said they “always” feel included and 30% said they “sometimes” feel included.^ ^39% of asexual people of colour said they rarely or never felt part of the LGBT+ community, compared to 24% of white asexual young people. ^ ^It’s also estimated that between 0.44-1 percent (295,768 to 672,200) of the UK population identifies as asexual.^ ^The data paints a disappointing picture that suggests a significant portion of young adults identifying as asexual don’t always feel like they’re a part of the LGBTQ community.^ ^“I hope that this research makes clear the need for greater awareness of the lived experiences and realities of asexual people, especially as we can see a wider pattern here of LGBT+ people of colour feeling excluded from our community.”^ [[https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/a-quarter-of-asexual-young-adults-feel-excluded-from-lgbtq-community-430087 https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/a-quarter-of-asexual-young-adults-feel-excluded-from-lgbtq-community-430087/]]

WarriorN · 07/04/2023 15:26

The problem is that sex positivity and porn has created a climate where women feel wrong for not having a high sex drive or only wanting it within a committed relationship. Or just not interested (highly likely with oral contraception.)

Hence they've had to create asexuality.

It's not them, it's a pornsick society.

matis · 07/04/2023 15:24

Asexual person gets propositioned in Corrie.

"No thanks I'm asexual"

Ok then.

I mean. I can't see where it would go (other than a sexual assault/rape storyline but then them being asexual is not central to that)

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 15:23

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:20

Whatever their struggles might be!

Money. Relationships. Family. Work.

You know that the struggles are the same as everyone else?! That's what most drama on TV is about? Why would an asexual persons struggles be anymore tedious than a straight person's? Because there are no sex scenes?

It's posts like these that make me doubt you're genuinely interested in understanding. If you're not then do please let me know and I'll go and do something else!

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Money. Relationships. Family. Work.
Those struggles are in no way related to their non interest in sexual relationships?
How would signposting that they're asexual contribute to plot development?

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:22

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:20

What?? How do you struggle to find someone to not have sex with?? Err…. Wouldn’t you just er…. Not date people? That’s not making sense. In poirot, captain Hastings does discuss his dating woes. Poirot doesn’t jump in and say “actually I’m looking for someone to not be in a relationship with” does he?

You understand that asexual people have relationships?

Is that the basic misunderstanding that we're having?

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:22

But as you can tell, I like miss marple, poirot and Sherlock even though there are no sex scenes, so basically asexual representation is in those three shows right?

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:20

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 15:12

What struggles?
Why would anyone watch such naval gazing nonsense in the interests of being entertained is the real question, tbh. Sounds as tedious as fuck.

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Whatever their struggles might be!

Money. Relationships. Family. Work.

You know that the struggles are the same as everyone else?! That's what most drama on TV is about? Why would an asexual persons struggles be anymore tedious than a straight person's? Because there are no sex scenes?

It's posts like these that make me doubt you're genuinely interested in understanding. If you're not then do please let me know and I'll go and do something else!

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:20

What?? How do you struggle to find someone to not have sex with?? Err…. Wouldn’t you just er…. Not date people? That’s not making sense. In poirot, captain Hastings does discuss his dating woes. Poirot doesn’t jump in and say “actually I’m looking for someone to not be in a relationship with” does he?

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:16

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:12

I mean, look at Miss Marple. She’s never had to say why she’s single and childless has she. It’s just accepted. Same with Poirot. Same with Sherlock Holmes. Unless someone comes out on screen stating that they’re asexual and explaining what that is, how will we know? It’s like trying to portray someone with no interest in stamp collecting. Unless they state they have no interest in stamp collecting, how will anyone know?

I think you're being a little bit disingenuous here.

There are so many shows/films about relationships, where people discuss their relationships, where it's very evident what they're looking for. The idea that it would be impossible to portray asexuality in the same way is just silly.

If you can have someone moaning about how they're struggling to find someone to have sex with, you can have someone moaning about how they're struggling to find someone to not have sex with!

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:15

How do you know miss marble is not asexual? What about Poirot? Like I said, unless it’s explicitly stated, how would anyone know?

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:14

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:12

All good shows! Great characters! But none of them are relationship heavy shows are they? There's no show that focuses on relationships that features an asexual character. There are shows that feature straight characters and gay characters where their personal life and struggles are the plot, but not a single character (that I'm aware of, I could be wrong) who is asexual.

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Err… nearly everyone else is those shows us in relationships. Even captain Hastings got married in the case of poirot. Most of Miss Marple’s friends are married couples. Dr Watson got married. Many of the episodes show relationships.

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 15:12

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:09

I think you can feature an asexual character and their struggles just like you feature any other character and their struggles? Obviously there won't be any sex scenes, but there are loads of TV shows that feature relationships without sex.

I don't think it needs to become a lecture anymore than you have to lecture viewers about what being gay is to feature a gay character.

How it would relate to plot development would obviously depend on the show, just like how any relationship/lack of contributes to a characters development.

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What struggles?
Why would anyone watch such naval gazing nonsense in the interests of being entertained is the real question, tbh. Sounds as tedious as fuck.

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:12

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:03

Miss marple, Hercule poirot, Sherlock Holmes,

All good shows! Great characters! But none of them are relationship heavy shows are they? There's no show that focuses on relationships that features an asexual character. There are shows that feature straight characters and gay characters where their personal life and struggles are the plot, but not a single character (that I'm aware of, I could be wrong) who is asexual.

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:12

I mean, look at Miss Marple. She’s never had to say why she’s single and childless has she. It’s just accepted. Same with Poirot. Same with Sherlock Holmes. Unless someone comes out on screen stating that they’re asexual and explaining what that is, how will we know? It’s like trying to portray someone with no interest in stamp collecting. Unless they state they have no interest in stamp collecting, how will anyone know?

LaPerduta · 07/04/2023 15:09

highame · 07/04/2023 08:20

Also shocked to note that the "I" community has been totally ignored!

Not ignored. I believe they have objected to being included in the word soup. They do not identify as LGBTQ+++and they were not asked for their permission to be included.

Intersex is biological. It is not a sexuality or sexual orientation.

MorrisZapp · 07/04/2023 15:09

And literally no parent of a teenager or young adult is hassling them to try sex. Nor are siblings suggesting visits to the GP, what utter nonsense.

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:09

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 14:57

But how would you portray a sexuality. You can portray someone L,G or B by love scenes. How do you portray someone asexual without a whole lecture on what asexuality is and how they feel? How would it be relevant to a characters plot development?

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I think you can feature an asexual character and their struggles just like you feature any other character and their struggles? Obviously there won't be any sex scenes, but there are loads of TV shows that feature relationships without sex.

I don't think it needs to become a lecture anymore than you have to lecture viewers about what being gay is to feature a gay character.

How it would relate to plot development would obviously depend on the show, just like how any relationship/lack of contributes to a characters development.

MorrisZapp · 07/04/2023 15:07

That camel analogy is horse shit quite honestly. My best friend at uni had no boyfriend in all the time I knew her. No one night stands, no snogs, nothing. We had a brilliant friendship and laughed all the time, we had so much in common especially the bands we liked and the books we read. Some of our friends were long term single too. So what? My own sex life took place with none of my friends present. It didn't involve them. Being into sex or not was neither here nor there, how mad to think you might need a 'community' based on this. At what point do we stop dividing and factionalising people?

LBFseBrom · 07/04/2023 15:06

Why do people feel the need to share their personal details anyway?

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:04

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 14:54

Can you explain why it needs to be recognised @NuffSaidSam
To what purpose, exactly?

As I said, to make young people (and adults tbh) aware that what they're feeling is valid and ok. That there is a community out there if they wish to find it. That there isn't anything wrong with them. That they don't need to actively try and change themselves. That forcing themselves to have sex they don't want won't 'fix them'. That it's ok to be open and speak about it.

It's all the same reasons that it's important to recognise all the other sexual identities.

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 15:04

My apologies for not being clear.

Being asexual isn't a big issue.

Lack of representation is a big issue.

I'm afraid you're still not being clear. Represented; how? Why?

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 15:03

Miss marple, Hercule poirot, Sherlock Holmes,

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 15:01

EndlessTea · 07/04/2023 14:52

How do you know TV characters aren’t asexual?

There are loads of characters who are happily single and childless and it is never explained.

Loads of characters where their sexuality or lack of is not mentioned or relevant - why make assumptions about them?

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Which ones are you thinking of specifically?

ReadersD1gest · 07/04/2023 15:00

Out of interest, do you feel the same about gay people or bi people? Or is it specifically asexual people you feel this about?
Feel what? That it's irrelevant? Of course not, being gay or bi is entirely relevant when you're looking for a relationship.
Having zero interest in relationships affects nobody but yourself. Why are you so desperate to make this a thing which needs a spotlight shone on it?

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 14:59

terryleather · 07/04/2023 14:46

But including a mention of asexuality is both possible and desirable isn't it? It's not a big issue, it's not one that's hurting anyone else. It's a perfectly reasonable request.

If it's not a "big issue" why all the wailing about not feeling "included"?

I think that telling kids/young people that being childless is a perfectly legitimate option would also be good tbh. It's a shame that would make you feel 'entitled'.

To be clear I think it's entitled to expect other people with children to have to be "inclusive" of me as a person who doesn't have children, I don't expect them to "check their privilege" around me as a person without kids.

Not having children is of course "perfectly legitimate", I would have thought that goes without saying.

My apologies for not being clear.

Being asexual isn't a big issue.

Lack of representation is a big issue.

Although tbf I think I'm conversing politely and with a genuine interest in the conversation and not 'wailing', but tone is hard to gauge online! I can only promise you that I'm not wailing. Just chatting.

On the second point I agree. I'm also not asking anyone to 'check their privilege'. I'm more taking about representation and education. I think including as many people as possible in this is a good thing. I think it's great for gay kids to see gay people being represented, I think it's great for kids with disabilities to see people with disabilities represented, I think it's great for kids of varying religions to see themselves represented and I think for asexual young people it would be great to see asexuality being represented.

I'm genuinely surprised that this seems to upset people to such an extent. I don't understand the big issue with being
so against asexuality being represented in the same way that being gay/bi/straight is represented.

Happylittlechicken · 07/04/2023 14:57

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2023 14:49

It's needs to be recognised.

I agree it doesn't need to be celebrated anymore than being straight or gay or bi needs to be celebrated.

It's not a personal choice just like being staright or gay or bi isn't a personal choice.

No-one else needs to be part of it, just like no-one needs to be part of a straight relationship or a gay relationship. But it would be nice to have a character on TV be asexual, for example. Just like it's nice to see both straight and gay relationships/families represented.

Out of interest, do you feel the same about gay people or bi people? Or is it specifically asexual people you feel this about?

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But how would you portray a sexuality. You can portray someone L,G or B by love scenes. How do you portray someone asexual without a whole lecture on what asexuality is and how they feel? How would it be relevant to a characters plot development?